Raise up your hands if you all wanna hang... With me and my gang

I woke up the next morning, finally feeling refreshed. It’s amazing what a simple GOOD night of sleep can do for you. I got up, got dressed, fed and let the dogs out. The door to what was now Matt’s room was closed, and I figured he was asleep. I put on some old shorts and a light long sleeved tee shirt, and went out for a run. When I came back, Matt’s door was still closed. I showered quickly, got dressed in a jean skirt and fitted v-neck, and decided to drive to this great mom and pop bakery to get some doughnuts.
When I came back, Matt was STILL asleep. I checked my watch. True, it was only ten AM, and I wasn’t sure how late he had stayed up. Thinking that, I felt a little guilty passing out and leaving him to fend for himself his first night here. I decided doughnuts weren’t going to make up for it, and started cooking bacon and my special scrambled eggs.
I was pulling the bacon from the oven (I bake mine, with a little corky’s dry rub on them. Amazing.) When Matt finally emerged from his room. His blonde hair was ruffled, his eyes puffy with sleep.
“Oh, wow.” He said, walking into the kitchen.
“Yeah, I just wanted to thank you for last night’s dinner, and apologize for passing out and leaving you alone last night. It’s been a long week.” I said, plating the bacon.
“It’s OK. I managed.” He said, smiling and sitting down.
We munched for a few moments in silence. Matt looked groggy, and I was glad to find out he wasn’t a morning person. I wasn’t either. I would have killed him if he was the type to chatter from the second they woke up. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable either, which shocked me. I did often get nervous in silence, and had a bad habit of rambling.
Finally, after Matt had cleared his plate and downed a cup of orange juice, he looked up at me and smiled.
“So, Ella. What’s on the agenda for today?”

Sunday I tried to keep things as low key as possible. I say tried, because it didn’t always happen, but I usually spent Sundays with my parents, or shopping, or doing something low-stress, aimless, and sometimes even pointless.
Today I had nothing on my schedule. My parents were busy, so I couldn’t visit them, I could have done paper work, but it was a beautiful day, sunny and warm with a light breeze. I told Matt to get dressed, and we’d spend the day just bumping around. We started out loading the dogs into the car, and we headed for the park. I laughed as I watched Matt romp around with the puppies, running and chasing and diving around with them. When they, and Matt were worn out, I loaded them back into the car to drop the dogs back off at home. Next we went to do one of my favorite activities, thrifting. It contained two of the very things I loved most: deals, and shopping. Being with Matt was easy. Conversation flowed, our sense of humor was the same. We spent hours digging through random crap, finding steals (Matt found a Ecko sweater, brand new, for 2.99! Less than three dollars!) finding random junk I could use to fill my prize box at work for cheap, and making fun of all the crazy things we stumbled across (old school acid wash jeans? Yes, I tried them on and modeled them for Matt, complete with an old school painters cap!)
It was while trying on the jeans that I took out my phone and saw I had a text:
Greg: C u 2night?
I smiled. “Hey Matt? Wanna round up a crew and go out tonight?”

It was a small group of us heading out that night. Matt had called Stacey, who was the only one of his co-workers to make it into town yet (the rest of them would be coming in later in the week, due to work or school conflicts.) And she was with us, as well as James, my friend Ed, and also Jarren, who had started to annoy me from the get-go by instantly making googly eyes at Matt.
It’s not the fact that she liked Matt that annoyed me. But, I think every girl has that boy crazy friend, and it’s a little hard to deal with sometimes. Jarren never failed to fall in “love” with some guy every time she went out with me. When I was younger and we were roommates, it worked. We were younger, and I think every teenager is boy (or girl) crazy, and I of course, loved the drama that it brought. But as I got older, I grew tired of having to deal with Jarrens meltdowns and pick up the pieces every time some guy she knew for all of five minutes had rejected her. Our relationship was strained in other ways as well. She lived with her Dad, worked only part time, was always getting fired for not showing up to work, and was constantly fighting with either her Dad, her Mom, her sister, ranting about her employers (if she had one), or complaining about how it wasn’t her fault that she got fired. Everything always happened TO her, she never took responsibility for her actions. She was also upset with me because I recently told her she couldn’t move in with me. It’d be one thing if Jarren was down on her luck and couldn’t find a job. Jarren simply didn’t want a job. Jarren didn’t want to clean up after herself. Jarren didn’t want anything to do with being an adult. It was growing old, and I didn’t want to take care of Jarren. I knew I should have just ended our friendship, but it’s hard to just walk away from someone you’ve known that long, even if they are toxic.
Jarren sat next to Matt and immediately started flirting. Matt paid her no attention, looking bored, and turning to talk to Stacey and James instead. Jarren did not get the hint, instead paying close attention to the conversation, injecting herself whenever she could.
We arrived to the show earlier than I had planned, and had to sit through a couple act to wait for Greg to come on. It was nice that the club was split into three levels, because kids were allowed on the first two levels, and in the early evenings, they would have acts by children or teenagers. It was the teen acts who were on now, Greg being the first adult performer of the night after they were done.
We ordered a few drinks, but I kept it light. I eyed Jarren warily as she quickly downed hers. I wondered if she had even brought any cash. Ed, who was sitting next to me, got up to go to the bathroom, and Jarren slipped into his seat.
“God, Matt is cute. No wonder you didn’t let me move in, you wanted to keep him all to yourself!” She whispered.
“He is cute, but he has a girlfriend, and I didn’t let you move in because I have no place for you to stay.” Half-truth.
“Oh.” She considered this for a moment. “Well, it’s not cheating if you’re in different area codes. Or is it zip codes? Ha, either way it works!”
I just shook my head. This is why Jarren was constantly getting her heart “broken”. Besides falling in love with guys in two seconds, she also used sex to try to lure guys, whether it was trying to lure them away from their girlfriends, or just to try to get them interested. I told her it would backfire on her, and it always did. Guys who cheat aren’t guys you want to be with anyway, and just because a guy has sex with you, doesn’t mean he’ll have a relationship. But Jarren never learned.
Greg came on then, and I shushed Jarren who was opening her mouth to say something. She eyed the stage and squealed.
“He’s cute too! Why do you get all the good ones!”
I ignored her, and concentrated on the show, which was a good one, despite Jarren making an ass of herself and trying to goad me onto going onstage. I loved magic, and always desperately wanted to know what the secrets were, but never asked any magician. I knew the magic was in the secret, and I didn’t want to ruin it.
Greg ended his show, and went backstage. He had already texted me to let me know he was going to change, and told us we could go upstairs to the restaurant and grab a table, and he would meet us up there. I suddenly grew nervous as we were being led to our table. Greg and I had never really hung out. Sure, there seemed to be chemistry when we talked on the phone. I liked him as a person, I thought he was funny, and we flirted with each other, but… Would that translate?
I sat down next to Matt, leaving an empty seat next to me, and Jarren sat on the other side of that empty seat, still making eyes at Matt, who did his best to ignore her. The group chattered seamlessly, and I was glad that both Matt and Stacey felt comfortable with us, but I still couldn’t join the conversation. I was bouncing my leg up and down, looking around, waiting for Greg to show. Matt sipped his hand under the table, and put it on my knee. Instantly I stopped, looked at Matt, and felt that same old spark. He smiled, winked at me, and removed his hand.
Greg chose that moment to come, and everyone stood up to let him in. He reached over, and gave me a hug. He smelled amazing, and looked pretty relaxed in jeans and a tee-shirt. I made introductions, and we sat down to order.
It turns out, I had nothing to worry about. Greg fit in with the group, and it was as easy to be with him in real life as it was to talk to him on the phone. At one point, while we were waiting for our dessert, I was sitting with my hands in my lap, leaning forward slightly, paying attention to a story Stacey was telling. I felt Greg’s hand reach under the table, and take mine. He squeezed it slightly, and I smiled, feeling like a teenager with a crush. He slipped away, towards the end of the meal, to go to the bathroom. I found out later, when the check came, that he had actually slipped away to find the waiter and paid for my dinner.
He had offered to drive me home, but I declined. I wasn’t sure Matt knew his way around well enough to be able to drive my car home, and I felt bad about leaving him to fend for himself again. Instead Greg walked me to my car (Matt pretended as if he had left something in the restaurant, asking me to pick him up at the door while he went back to go get it.), kissed me on my cheek, and told me he couldn’t wait until Thursday. Neither could I.
Matt didn’t say much on the way home, and in fact spent most of the time texting, his brow furrowed. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but he didn’t really seem talkative. He had been in such a good mood at the club, I wasn’t sure what had happened. He said goodnight when we got home, and after I reminded him what time I leave for work in the morning, shut himself into his room. I sighed, hoping he wasn’t home sick or that I had done anything to make him angry, and checked my email. I had one from Kayla.
She said she was sorry she hadn’t been in touch for awhile, but the move to California had been hectic, and there had been a mix-up about base housing. She said she had discussed surrogacy with a few people, and one of them had given her a health questionnaire to fill out. I started to do so, but my heart stopped when I reached question seven: Have you ever been pregnant before, and if so did you abort, miscarry, or carry the baby to term?
It gave me pause. I didn’t know if anyone had ever brought Kayla into the loop. She and Toni were also good friends, and maybe Toni had decided it was something Kayla needed to know. Still, I didn’t feel right lying, and if I went through with this, I would have to tell the doctor about my previous miscarriage, and who knew if Kayla would find out then or not? I took a deep breath, and answered with yes, a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I quickly finished the rest of the questionnaire and clicked send before I could change my mind.

The gang's all here!

So this is Wednesday's posting, where I talked about whatever tickles my pickle. I'm posting a little early tonight (it's after midnight here in Ohio, so technically Wednesday, but if you guys are reading in a different time zone, it still may be Tuesday.) Because tomorrow I'll be running around doing a bunch of errands, and I wanted to make sure I got it up. Thursday's posting may come around this same time tomorrow, because I have plans with the in laws (ugh.)

I want to start by saying thank you, so very much for all the really kind, awesome, and encouraging comments. I've ALWAYS wanted to write, but always have been shy about it. I was actually a little nervous, starting this blog thinking no one would like it. But, you guys have been amazing, and I want you to know how much I do appreciate you.

I thought I'd take today to introduce you to my pets. I'm going to try to include some pictures, hopefully it'll work. I've had many animals over the years, hamsters (Satan's creatures, I swear. I've only met one nice hamster in my life. There's a special spot in hell especially for dwarf hamsters, those mean little bastards.), gerbils, Guinea pigs, rabbits (I had an AMAZING rabbit named Bazzle, he used to sleep with me, seriously, you've never met a more friendly guy then him. Unfortunately, I decided to get him a friend, a mean little SOB named Fonzie. He looked like a dust bunny, fat ahttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=158340105994848507nd gray, and would bite you every chance he got.), mice (one of them ate the others head, and I'm convinced gave me the plague) a rat (seriously, best pet ever. If your kids want a rodent, I would say rat all the way. They're clean, they're sweet, and they're SUPER smart. Plus, your kids can actually hold the. Gerbils are nice, but they're SUPER fast. I would say stick with a girl rat though. Male rats get rather large... Uh, testicles, which can be a little... Gross.), fish, frogs, cats, dogs... And each one of them were special to me in some way, shape, or form (with the exception of most of the hamsters.) I could go on and on about them, but I'm sure that would get old, so I've decided to tell you about just a few.


I got Bubba as a consolation prize for not getting a dog. He looks like Garfield, and I believe acted very much like Garfield. He liked to eat, sleep, and be a huge pain in the butt. Still, I loved him. He's the orange guy in the picture, the black and white cat behind him is Allie. We got her to keep him company while I was at camp and Mom was at work. He hated her, and they kind of had the same relationship as Garfield and Nermal. Bubba passed away quite suddenly a few months before I lost Tater, and it was extremely hard. We're not quite sure what happened. He wasn't in that great of shape when we got him (I did buy him from a pet store, which I don't normally condone, but you should have seen him! He was definately in need of being rescued!) We ended up getting him de-clawed, which I honestly believe brought on his early death, and refuse to do it to anymore cats. He was never the same after we did it, and I regret that decision till this day. I had to leave Bubba and Allie behind with my Mom when I moved out to a place that didn't allow animals. When I did get an apartment that allowed them, my Mom was super attached to them, and wouldn't let them go. I decided it was finally time to get a dog.


(sorry it's not a great photo, it was taken with a camera phone, but in the background you might be able to see the broken blinds. Tater did this so he could watch for me when I came home.)

I pretty much already told the story of how Tater came to be. In the few months I was blessed enough to have him in my life, he was truly my best friend. I meant it whole-heatedly when I said he was my soul mate. And while some people might think I'm pathetic, I also meant it when I said that nobody has ever loved me like that dog did, and that includes my husband and my son. Dogs just love you with such an unconditional love. It seems to me that most dogs, even when you kick them, will get right back up and shower you with kisses (not that I make a habit of dog kicking, or anything like that.) Cats are great too, and I love my cats very much, but cats and dogs are two VERY different creatures, with two VERY different ways of loving you. The hardest thing I've ever done in my life was walking through the front door and facing the fact that he was gone. After an animal's death, your house feels so empty and lonely in a way that I can't describe, but I'm sure anyone who's lost a pet knows exactly what I'm talking about.

I knew I wanted another dog, but I waited. As I said in my blog, parvo can live for a really long time (I believe it's at least a year.) So, I didn't want to chance that again. When I moved, I moved back to a place where I was not allowed to have pets. Which is when I got my rat, Nicodemouse (yes, I meant to spell it like that!) Or Nikki to my after school group.


(excuse my stupid face in this one, for some reason I ALWAYS pucker my lips in pictures.)

Nikki was the best rodent pet I ever had, and really high up on the rank of best pet ever. She was sweet, smart, and was GREAT with the kids at work. She never tried to escape (but often got out of her cage to hang out on the "roof" so to speak.), and the worst she ever did to any of my kids was poop on them. She died about a year after I got her, but I still recommend rats to ANYONE whose child wants a pet of their own. I know they get a bad rep, but I for one thought Nikki was gorgeous.

I then moved in with my husband (he wasn't my husband at the time, but he is now.) And inherited three cats, Lucy, Ethel, and Kahlua:



Lucy and Ethel came from Arizona where my husband and his ex-wife adopted them. Kahlua he got from a co-worker, who wanted a cat, but her Mom made her keep Kahlua locked up in a tiny cat-carrier whenever she wasn't home (which was all the time.) The girl was complaining that Kahlua was crazy whenever they let her out of the cage (can you blame her?) So, she ended up with him. We recently found Kahlua a new home though, so we no longer have her. Ethel is the sweetest girl ever, and loves to head butt, and Lucy is like not owning a cat at all, since I hardly ever see her. Recently she's been coming up on the bed for cuddles or to get brushed, but she's still pretty shy.

Still, cats are not dogs. I wanted a dog. My husband FINALLY agreed, and I set forth to find one. I knew I wanted part boxer, since that's what the first Tater was, but my husband put a weight limit on it, it had to be a small dog. I thought I never would find anything mixed with a boxer, but then I did. In a shelter in Zanesville. She was so ugly in her shelter photo, but I just knew, she was the one. I was working at camp at the time, and my husband was trying to make arrangements to be able to meet her. He told me that she had been adopted, and I cried. Then, he showed up at camp with her, surprising me. He said he knew on sight that I would love her, and he heard another person was supposed to come look at her, so he drove all the way out there to get her for me.



We named her Tater Tot. Tater turned out to be REALLY sick when we got her, 500 dollars later, I found out she had a whole slew of contagious things, which worried me since a.) she was supposed to be vet checked and OK to go and b.) My husband had told me she had been the "shelter dog" so to speak, and allowed to roam around the shelter. So, who knows how many other animals she infected? We called the shelter to let them know, but they didn't care, and tried to turn it onto us. They were really very rude, and it ended up leaving a really bad taste in my mouth. Upon further investigation, I found this shelter did horrible things all the time. I heard stories from people that adopted their about how their dogs had all sorts of things, and one lady even spoke about how they insisted having their vet check her dog out, and then put it down without even telling her (they told her the dog had an untreatable disease. But her original vet had told her that while the dog DID have a condition, it was treatable.) I know what you're thinking: Of course dogs in shelters pass things onto each other all the time. They're a lot of stray dogs in shelters, which can carry a lot of things. But I didn't feel like a.) they shouldn't have told me that Tater had been vet checked and was clear to go. Because she hadn't been. Any vet that saw the dog would have known instantly that she was underweight and had worms. Yet we hadn't been warned about this at all. And b.) I felt they should have been a lot more concerned when we called to let them know what she had. Instead, they turned defensive, which made me wonder what else was going on. But, I digress. Tater is A LOT healthier now, and is my baby. She's annoying, lol, an attention whore, but I love her to death. She burrows under the blankets with me, cuddles with me, and is EXCELLENT with my son. They're best friends. She was listed at the shelter as a boxer/chihuahua mix, which is just crazy to imagine. She does have her chihuahua features (especially when her ears stand up.) We get asked all the time if she's a boxer puppy, a pitbull puppy, a boston terrier mix. We honestly have no idea, and call her our little hybrid.



Next came Louie. We got Louie as a playmate for Tater. He was a great dog (a pekingese) who was a very sweet boy. We unfortunately had to rehome him recently, as he didn't take to my son as well as we had hoped. I spent MONTHS while pregnant reading up on how to help the dogs adjust to the baby, and they both did well at first. But, my son started crawling and I guess Louie felt more threatened by it, and started snapping at him. We were lucky enough to have a neighbor take him in.

We've had countless numbers of other foster dogs. The one who sticks out in my mind the most was Buddy, the beagle who would only poop in what I called crop circles at the top of the stairs. We've also had our fair share of cats. One kitten we found was so sick we had to give her over to a shelter. There was Lt Dan (pictured below with my friend Jessica, who he now lives with) who we bottle fed after his Mother died.


And Po (short for Potato, we named her Potato to go along with Tater, because when we first got her, she was obsessed with Tater.) We got Po along with a litter of kittens from a family across the street who were basically just going to let the cats go. We were able to find them all homes, even Po. But, Po got a nasty eye infection (you might be able to tell by the picture) and we kept her while it cleared up. The potential adopters lost interest, and so she just sort of stayed. We're still looking for a home for her, but if she stays forever, it's not big deal. She's a quiet one, like Lucy, and we hardly see her.



We've added three other additions lately. For my sons first birthday, we decided he needed a pet of his "own". Daddy wanted a reptile, and Mommy wanted something easy to take care of, so we ended up with these little guys:


The quality is kind of crappy, again, it's a camera phone, but they're african clawed dwarf frogs named Bob and Barker (my son has a thing for the Price is Right, I'm sure we'll touch on that later.) African Dwarfs are another pet I would recommend, ESPECIALLY for teachers. These little guys are SUPER easy to take care of. We do have to feed them gross blood worms, but we basically clean their cages once a month (it's important though, to de-chlorinate your water, either by using drops or letting the water sit out for 24 hours.), feed them every couple of days (they could last the weekend without being fed,) and that's about it. They're a little sensitive to the cold, but other than that I've read they're pretty hardy, and ours seem to be holding up.

The next addition is a puppy we're fostering named Bones. We were considering keeping him, since we had to get rid of Louie, but having a toddler and a puppy is WAY too much work for me. My son looks like he's playing nice in the picture below, but trust me, it's a rare moment. The puppy also views my son as another puppy, especially when he's crawling, so the puppy gets stepped on and yanked on, and Cayden gets jumped on and nipped at. We have a home visit Thursday, so wish us luck!



Last, but certainly not least, is my son, who we call a nearly hairless albino monkey. (OK, so he's not a pet, but I love my son and think he's gorgeous, so I'll use any chance I have to show off pictures!)




Just a few words on pets... The only creature I honestly really can't stand is birds. I know, birds can be really smart, and I've heard a lot of wonderful, amazing stories about them but... It's just been my experience that birds are assholes. They honestly creep me out. If I were on my desk top, I would post a hilarious video shot of my husband when we were at the Newport Aquarium. He was feeding the Lorikeets from this little cup of nectar, and he and one of the birds started playing tug of war with the cup. The bird won, and my husband reached to take it back, and the bird bit him! My husband did get the cup back though. I just don't like birds. I'm not a fan of snakes or spiders, but birds REALLY give me the heebie-jeebies.

I'm also totally against any breed bans. Here in Ohio they're currently proposing a pit bull ban, and I am totally against it. I love pit bulls, and can't wait until the day I can own one. They are beautiful creatures with a horrible reputation. ANY dog can be made into a dangerous weapon if that is what it's trained to be. It's not the dogs fault, but the uneducated or cruel owner. Pit bulls ARE very strong dogs, so they do tend to do more damage. But honestly, I think more people are bit by small breed dogs than any other. And nobody is proposing to ban them. I encourage you all to join the ASPCA. Even if you don't have the money to be an actual member, they do have a free membership and you can also sign up to get emergency alerts, and you could possibly help if something like a breed ban is proposed in your area.

Please, feel free to talk about your pets, past, present, and future. I'd like to hear about them! And if you have any questions about anything pet related (information on an animal, questions about fostering, what pet would I recommend) feel free to ask in the comments or email me! And, if you hate pets, feel free to voice that as well, though I don't think we have any pet haters on this blog.

Flashback: I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter

It seemed like every time I would move closer to Jacob, or he closer to me, Jason would initiate some kind of contact with Kayla. When Jacob wrapped his arm around me, Jason put his arms around Kayla’s shoulders. When I leaned my head on Jacob’s shoulder, Jason rested his head on Kayla’s. I grew tired of the competition, but I knew I wouldn’t stop watching Jason to see if he was still watching me.
“Wanna go for a walk?” I asked Jacob, suddenly feeling very closed in and needing space.
“Sure.” He answered. He stood and offered me his hand, pulling me up. I couldn’t help but sneak a peek at Jason’s face as we walked off, and I was glad to see that Kayla wasn’t facing him to see the scowl he had on.

Jacob kept a hold on my hand as we walked off towards the lake. The breeze picked up, and I pulled Jacob’s sweat shirt around me tighter with my free hand. Doing this released a puff of his scent. I’m not sure what it was, part cologne and part of a unique smell that I thought all cute boys must naturally have. I love boy smells. Well, the good kind. I stole a glance over at Jacob, and felt a little bad when I saw his bare arms.
“You look cold, I’m sorry, do you want this back?” I said, shrugging off one shoulder.
“No, no it’s OK. I’ll just stop by the tent real quick.”
The tent was empty, much to my surprise and relief. I don’t know why I had pictured Drew and Jarren inside, doing the deed. Or, why I cared even. Drew was a grown man, and while I didn’t think Jarren was the one for him, it didn’t mean he couldn’t decide for himself. Jacob exited the tent with a blanket in one hand, and took my hand back with his other. He pulled me gently towards the lake.
We sat on the rickety old dock that Nick’s Dad had built way back when. I sat in front, my legs dangling over the sides but not touching the water. Jacob sat behind me, wrapping the blanket around us both. I held the blanket closed in front of me, and under the blanket he ran his hands up and down my arms, once again trying to get warm.
“I love the cold.” I said.
“Well then, give me the blanket.” He joked. He stopped rubbing my arms and instead wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder.
“Ha, fat chance.” I answered, pulling the blanket tighter, which brought him a little closer to me. “I just mean… You can always get warm when you’re cold. It’s a lot harder to get cool when you’re hot.”
We sat in silence for awhile, watching the wind occasionally blow tiny waves across the lake. I could hear the rest of the group in the background, and it sounded like Jarren had joined the group again.
“It really sucks that I just met you and I have to leave.” Jacob said, his voice low and close to my ear.
“I know. Why’d you have to go and join the Marines anyway?” I mock pouted.
“If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met you!” He laughed. “But honestly, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. A challenge I issued myself when I was younger. I’m not a lifer though, like I get the feeling Jason might be. I just wanted to know that I could do it.”
I quieted at that thought. Jason being in for life meant a lot more dangerous opportunities for him. I shivered, as all the possibilities of what might happen to him popped into my head.
“Aw, you’re shivering.” Jacob said, pulling me even closer. “Maybe we should get you back to the fire.”
I didn’t really want to go back yet, didn’t really want to face Jason and Kayla. His jealousy annoyed and confused me, and frankly I was tired of dealing with it. It was OK for him to go get a girlfriend, but I was supposed to stay single forever? Screw that.
With that thought in my head, I turned around and kissed Jacob. He pulled back a little at first, surprised I think, and then pressed forward. His lips were soft, yet firm, and warm. He tasted like fire and beer, which I loved. He moved his hands up to the side of my face, and for the second time, he made me swoon. It was such a movie perfect kiss, complete with sparks that had caught me off guard and left me breathless. I had been expecting a rebound, a boost to help me get over the train wreck that was Jason. Instead I know felt like chemically at least, I had a real and honest connection with Jacob.
We kissed for awhile, but it never ventured anywhere outside of kissing. His hands only went below my shoulders to rub my arms or my back, and while I could feel his… Happiness, he never made a move to push me any further than kissing.
We finally pulled away from each other, my face feeling a little raw from the stubble on his face, and both our lips red and slightly swollen. He smiled at me, looking a little shy.
“Well.” He said, clearing his throat. “That was nice.”
We decided to head back to the fire then, and we were greeted with an “ooooh” from the group when we arrived back, by everyone except Jason, who was shooting daggers from his eyes at both Jacob and I.
“And what were you two doing?” Jarren asked as I blushed a deep red.
“Probably the same thing you and Drew were doing when you guys left.” Jacob shot back.
I shot a look at Jarren, trying to read her face to see if I could tell if she and Drew were doing anything.
“Maybe, maybe not.” She answered, shooting a sly smile over to Drew.
I looked over at Drew, who just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. I watched him for a second, and noticed he was swaying slightly. Drew, was drunk. I rolled my eyes. He probably did mess around with her, but it didn’t mean anything. Poor Drew probably just got himself into a heap of trouble. Jarren was probably picking out her wedding dress, and Drew was just doing his damndest not to pass out. I had to stifle a laugh, although I did feel bad for both Drew and Jarren.
The rest of the night was pretty low-key. We sat around the fire for longer, we seemed to have partnered up, Nick and Toni, Jason and Kayla, Jarren and Drew, and Jacob and me. I felt a pang for a second, feeling badly for Sean who was missing out. Jen had banned him from coming. He had even invited her along, and even though her parents had agreed to watch the kids, she was adamantly against it. Camping was not her thing.
We told stories about Jason, and Jason told stories about all of us, and suddenly I remembered why we were there. To say goodbye. A lump formed in my throat, and my eyes started to water. I wiped at them, trying to be discreet, but Jacob noticed.
“You OK?” He asked. Jason was in the middle of telling the story of taking me cow-tipping. It was an unsuccessful adventure, but hilarious none the less. We had to slip under an electric fence to get there, getting all muddy in the process. We ended up not even getting within five feet of a cow before the farmer came out and chased us away. I ended up falling into a cow pie, and we found out when we were trying to escape that the fence hadn’t even been on, so slipping under it had been pointless.
I nodded. “It’s the smoke, from the fire. It’s hurting my eyes.”
He looked at me a little longer, then nodded, pulling me close to kiss the top of my head. He squeezed and then let go.
We broke up not too much longer, heading off to lay down in our tents. Drew climbed into bed with Jarren with no hesitation or protest. I slipped into the cold sheets with Jacob, who wrapped me in his arms. He promptly fell asleep, and I ended up tossing and turning for most of the night. I didn’t sleep well while camping, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Jason and how he was leaving. If I didn’t tell him all the things I had to say, would I end up regretting it if something were to happen? If I did tell Jason, would it ruin everything? I eventually slipped away from Jacob and out of our tent, pulling on a hoodie, and glad I had Jarren bring my fleece pajama pants. Even though it was barely September, the nights were freezing.
I walked towards the lake, back to the dock, needing fresh air and more space for my thoughts. I was looking up at the sky while walking, eyeing the stars, and didn’t notice the figure at the end of the dock until I reached it.
“Oh, sorry. I’ll go back.” I said to Jason when he turned around and eyed me up and down.
“No, it’s OK. I don’t mind company if you don’t.” He patted the space next to him, and held open part of the blanket that was around him. I sat next to him, and wrapped the blanket around me. I bumped his shoulder, and he bumped mine back, smiling at me.
“So. You and Jacob, eh?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s not the best timing, it’s not like I can get to know him in the two days before he leaves. But, it’s nice. For now.” I paused, looking back up at the stars. I watched my breath puff out in little gray clouds. “So. You and Kayla, eh?” I couldn’t look at him. It was a question I didn’t want to ask, but knew I had too.
“Yeah…” He trailed off. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. He was gazing up at the stars too. “Makes you remember prom, doesn’t it?” He nodded his head up at the stars.
“That was a great night.” I wanted him to elaborate more on him and Kayla. I didn’t want to know the details, but felt like I needed to know. Still, I felt like if he dropped it like that, I should too.
“It was.” He slipped his hand into mine and gave it a squeeze.
“Are you-“ I hesitated, not wanting to bring up any issues, but decided to press forward “Are you scared?”
He looked away from me, and nodded, just slightly. “Yeah. I am.”
“I don’t want you to go.” I blurted out. I had planned on being nonchalant about it, putting on a brave face for him, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“I don’t want to go.” He said, still not looking at me.
“Jas? You remember what I said way back when?”
He looked at me and shook his head. “What do you mean? When?”
“When I was dating Chris and we got into that huge argument? I said I hoped they would send you to Iraq…”
He licked his lips, and nodded.
“I didn’t mean it Jason. And I’m so sorry I even said it.” I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my face now. “If anything happens to you I…” I couldn’t continue, instead I trailed off and shook my head.
Jason pulled me close, enveloping me in a hug. He kissed the top of my head, and rocked slightly back and forth. “Shhh, Ella. I know you didn’t. And I promise you, I’ll come home to you. I’ll always come home for you.”
We sat there for awhile, hugging, each of us absorbed in our own thoughts. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but was afraid he would ask me my thoughts, and I wouldn’t be able to answer him honestly. My mind had been made up, Jason would never know about the baby that was almost ours.

Sometimes the system goes on the blink, and the whole thing turns out wrong

Drew visiting seemed to bring time to a stand-still. I felt like I was moving in slow-motion, and I just wanted to get to the weekend. I felt like if I just got to the weekend, things would go back to normal, time would start moving again, and I’d finally be able to breathe.
Drew had told me to call him, so I wasn’t really worried that he was angry with me. I knew he was upset, but I knew if I did call him, things would go back to normal.
I just wasn’t sure if normal was what I wanted. I felt like my feelings were being ignored, just because it was something that happened awhile ago. It’s like, well, sure I cheated on you honey! But that was years ago, just let it go! I also felt like I needed time to get over it, and that if I tried to be friends with Drew right now, I would end up resenting him, because I wasn’t over it yet. I thought about emailing him, explaining that I just needed time, because I felt guilty. I didn’t want to make him feel bad, I didn’t want to hurt him. But, then again, anger replaced the guilt. Why should I feel guilty? I hadn’t been the one who lied.
The weekend did finally get here, after what felt like years. I woke early Saturday morning, and took the four dogs in the backyard to hose them down. I wanted them to look good, but washing four puppies was an ordeal in itself.
I felt like taking a nap after bathing the dogs. If you ever want a good workout, try that. I would soap up one dog, fighting off the others who tried to lick him, jump on him, or chase him, and then as soon as I turned to grab the hose, he would run off, flinging soap everywhere, to find the nearest patch of dirt to rub himself on. I finally got all of them washed and clean by putting all of them in the crate and taking them out one by one. I was so exhausted by the time I got done that I just wanted to take a nap. I was, however, running late, per usual. The adoption event started… Well, right now.
I had loaded the puppies into the backseat and was pulling out when my cell phone rang. I reached blindly into my purse on the passenger’s seat for it.
“Hello?” I said, struggling to turn the wheel with one hand.
“Hi, Ella? It’s Matt. I wanted to let you know we were planning on heading down there today. We were going to leave in about an hour?”
“Um. How long is it going to take you to get here?” After the adoption event, I had a home visit with the two families. If all worked out, I was planning on leaving one dog with one of the families today, and would hopefully have more families lined up after this adoption event. But, the adoption event lasted for a few hours, and while the home visits weren’t going to take long, they were on opposite ends of town, so the driving was going to eat up a lot of time.
“Couple hours, I’ll probably be there around five?”
I eyed the clock on my dashboard. “I have some things to do today, so I may not be there, but I’m having a friend bring home the puppies after I’m done at this adoption event, so I’ll have her leave a key under the flower pot on the porch.”
“OK, well, I’ll call you if I can’t find it. See you later!”
“Bye Matt.”

It was not a good day. While I had gotten a few applications for the puppies, it wasn’t nearly what I had been hoping for. I handed three dogs off to Nancy to drop off at home, and took Alto over to visit his potential home. I was satisfied with them, and ended up leaving him there for a trial week, but at the second home, the couple was upset when I showed up without a dog. They did not take my suggestions for an older, calmer dog well, and I got a rant about how this was why people bought pet store puppies, because rescues made people jump through too many hoops. I was already a little frazzled, and I snapped back, letting them know that if people wouldn’t get puppies just because they were cute without thinking of the consequences (chewing, hyper-ness, medical needs, the amount of time it takes to train, ect.), That the shelters wouldn’t be full of what I called “teenaged” dogs, looking for homes. I was promptly kicked out of their house, with threats of calling the director of our shelter. I knew Nancy would agree with me, so I shrugged it off, but I was still upset. To put the icing on the cake, one of our main highways is under major constructions, shutting four lanes down to just one, and closing a ton of exits. I would have made it home in time to greet Matt, if I hadn’t gotten stuck in traffic for two and a half hours.
I came home, hot, sticky, and filled to the top with utter frustration. There’s a certain special annoyance that comes from sitting in a car, not moving, for hours on end, a built up anger with no one to direct it too. I felt especially bad for Matt, knowing that this was the random night he happened to come to stay, and that I might just have to go off on him for no more reason than he was there.
I stood outside the car for a second, breathing in fresh, non-exhaust filled air, trying to let go of my worst anger, before walking into the house. I paused upon entering though, sniffing the air. It smelled… Good.
“Oh, you’re home! Perfect timing.” Matt said, popping his head out of the kitchen. His body followed, and I was once again amazed by just how tall he was. He had to stoop to come through the doorway. “Kellie wanted to stay and meet you, but she needed to get home. You’re back later than I expected.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. It’s been a long day. What’s that smell?” I asked, sitting on the sofa to kick off my shoes.
“Oh, I started dinner. I hope you don’t mind.”
“As long as I get to eat some of whatever smells so good… Hey, where are the puppies?” I asked, realizing that I hadn’t been greeted with yips or nips or begs for belly rubs.
“They’re asleep.” He said, pointing to the corner of the room, where sure enough, they were all piled on each other, a mass of fur. I walked over and bent down next to them, scratching Cumulus’ neck. He opened one eye, and started to lick me, but fell back asleep before his tongue could hit my skin.
“What’d you do? Drug them?” I asked, shocked.
“No, Kellie and I took them to this park we passed on the way for a run. These guys have tons of energy.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. I’m just going to go in and change, and I’ll be back and we can eat, OK?”
“You mind eating outside? It’s such a nice night and I saw you have a picnic table…”
“Not at all.” I answered, “anywhere as long as it’s not in a car.”

My tension was melting away, and it was super nice of Matt to cook dinner AND wear out the puppies. I had been thinking I was coming home to a can of soup and hyper dogs. My fridge had been empty for awhile now, I never kept food in my house when I was at camp, choosing to eat out on the weekends I was home, rather than buying food and having it go bad while I was away. I had been meaning to get to the grocery for awhile now, but kept putting it off. I was now eating the canned foods I stocked up with in case of blizzard or nuclear warfare. I switched to my favorite, and worn pajamas, an oversized tee-shirt that was Jasons, and a pair of Drew’s basketball shorts that I had rolled up and tied tight.
I went outside, where Matt had set up a picnic. I was amazed when I sat down to fried chicken, green beans cooked with bacon and some kind of gravy, and fried chicken. There was a cold mike’s hard lemonade sitting in front of me, and a blue moon sitting in front of him. I spotted a pie out of the corner of my eye.
“When did you do all this?” I exclaimed.
“Well, when Kellie and I got back from the park, we were hungry, and I noticed you didn’t have any food…”
“Yeah, sorry about that, it’s been a little crazy around here lately.” I said, embarrassed.
“No, it’s OK, totally OK. But, I mean, you were so nice to put me up, rent free, and you switched last minute… Kellie suggested I do something nice for you, so we went to the store and I wasn’t sure what you liked… But, who doesn’t like fried chicken.”
“If I ever met a person who didn’t like fried chicken, I think I would be afraid of them.” I joked. “Still, this must have taken forever.”
“Not really. Mashed potatoes are easy, so is the fried chicken. I wanted the beans to simmer a little longer, to really get the flavor, but they’ll work. The pie is store bought.”
“Mmm, apple with caramel.” I said, looking it over. “You have no idea how badly I needed this, this has just been the day from hell.”
“What happened?” He asked, serving me a huge breast, along with a generous helping of mashed potatoes, swimming in butter.
“I actually would rather not rehash it, it was nothing major. Just one of those days where something little goes wrong at the start, and it just snowballs.”
He nodded, biting into his chicken. I did the same. Words cannot describe how delicious this chicken was, and it would do me a disservice to the chicken to even try.
We ate in silence for a few moments, and I could literally not cram food in my mouth fast enough, that’s how good it was. The green beans were a little mushy, but they were drowned in this mouth-watering gravy, and it’s my personal opinion that if you add bacon to anything, it’s going to make it a million times better. I started to feel a little self conscious, inhaling dinner in front of him, so I made myself slow down and speak.
“Kellie’s the girlfriend, eh?” I asked, biting into a roll that I hadn’t even seen on the table. It was perfect, the outside slightly crunchy, the inside soft and warm. The butter he had spread on the top melted and little rivers of butter flowed down to soak the inside. I could live on butter, bread, and bacon for the rest of my life. It would no doubt be a short life, dying of a heart attack in probably less than a year, but an extremely happy life.
“Yup.” He said. He didn’t seem to want to elaborate, but still I was curious.
“How long?”
“Bout four years.” He answered.
“Wow, that’s a long time.”
He shrugged, and I thought that was the end of it, until he cleared his throat and said “it’s one of those things. We’ve been together so long that I don’t know if we’re meant to be together, or if we’re together just because it’s easy.”
I didn’t really know what to say to that, so I just nodded my head.
“Are you excited about work?” I asked, using the rest of the roll to sop up the gravy from the green beans.
“I am. More so nervous though.” He wiped his hands on the front of his jeans. His long legs came across the table, and when he bumped his leg with his hands, his knee bumped into mine. I jerked away, not too quickly, I hoped, because the spark I had felt when I first met him was still there.
“Why nervous?”
“I always am whenever I’m working with new kids. Kids are just, brutally honest. You know? And I think that they read people so well. They’ll point all your faults on in the blink of an eye, tell you who’s a good guy and who’s got bad intentions, and they never seem to care when you point out their faults. They’re indestructible and sometimes it’s intimidating. I know once I settle in, I’ll be OK, it’s just those first couple of days where they’re feeling out me, and I’m feeling out them… It gets a little tricky.”
“Yeah, I agree. But, just a word of advice, don’t let them smell fear.” I said, winking at him. He laughed. “But, honestly Matt, it’s easiest to be tougher on them in the beginning. You can always ease up, but if you start out easy, when they start to take advantage of that, and they will take advantage of it, it’ll be next to impossible to crack that whip. They’re all really good kids, but they don’t need a friend. They need role models.”
“I hope to be one.” He said.

We finished eating, talking more about the job and what we was supposed to do. We cleaned up, and despite my insistence, Matt would not let me do the dishes. He told me to go and relax, read a book or get some early shut eye, and that he would take care of it. I thanked him, and went off to my room to read through the applications I had gotten that day.
I must have dozed off, because I woke up a little while later on top of a pile of papers to my cell phone ringing.
“Hello?” I asked, drowsily.
“Aww, you sound so cute when you’re asleep.” Greg said.
“Oh hey. I’m not asleep.”
“No, but you very obviously were when I woke you. Sorry about that.”
“It’s OK, I didn’t mean to fall asleep, actually. I just had an extremely good, filling meal. I must have been in a food coma.”
“You cook?”
“Don’t sound so surprised.” I said, laughing. “I cook, occasionally. I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it either. But I didn’t cook tonight. I told you I had an intern coming to stay with me. He cooked me dinner as a thank you.”
“Awww how nice.” Greg said. I smiled when I heard the jealousy in his voice.
“Don’t worry, Greg, we aren’t going to do the deed or get married or anything.”
“I know, I know. I just wish I could be there, is all. I kinda miss you, is that weird? Considering we’ve never hung out really?”
“I don’t think miss is the right word there. But, I get what you’re saying.”
“So come out to a show tomorrow.”
“Greg-“
“I know, I know.” He said, cutting me off. “It’s a school night and all that jazz, but I’m going on early. You can bring some friends, show the intern around a little bit, watch the show, and when I’m off we can all go out to dinner, or stay at the club for dinner and do some dancing after.”
“I’ll think about it, and I’ll ask Matt and see if he’s interested.” I yawned. “But, right now, I need to cut this short. Someone has kept me up way too late these past couple of days and I’m tired!”
“Alright, well. Text me tomorrow. I’m driving back into town tonight so, I’ll probably get home late and sleep late, but let me know.”
“Be careful Greg!”
“I will. Goodnight Ella.”
“Night.”

One last thing.

Just a FYI guys, I think I'm going to switch the posting "schedule" to Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I don't feel like very many people read on weekends, being off, and I like not having to worry about posting on the weekend (I'm usually running around with the hubby.) I think Wednesday's if I have time, I'll post something to discuss or something random (coupon deals I happen to find, maybe post some pictures of my animals and you guys can talk about yours in the comments section) just whatever I feel like. We'll try this starting today, and I'll see how well it goes next week and decide whether it works or not.

Also, I know while some people feel like it was part of the other blogs downfall, I decided to open an email account for the blog. If I feel the emails are rude/mean, I don't plan on answering (that's why there's a delete button) But, if any of you have questions about my experience fostering (I can't say every organization will have the same rules as mine, but I can speak on the one I used.), suggestions, or just want to talk, you can reach me at NothingmorethanLaura@gmail.com. If I feel like the email address has allowed too much access, or is causing too much grief, I'll just delete it.

New Posting Below.

Posting below.

And Jesus, he wants to go to Venus. Leaving Levon far behind

I took a deep breath, and opened the bedroom door. My eyes first fell onto Sean, who was sitting on the couch, looking tired and pale. He smiled at me warily, but he showed no signs of last nights Jen bashing conversation. My eyes skipped and landed on Jason, his hand resting on Kayla’s thigh. They were squeezed together on Nick’s double recliner. My stomach flipped and my heart broke. Jason smiled at me and waved, also showing no signs of recalling last nights conversation. I felt another pair of eyes on me, and was shocked to look over and see that Jacob was also here.
“Jacob, I didn’t know you were in town!” I exclaimed, desperate to go back to my room, but knowing I should at least put in a few minutes of quality time. Jacob was probably the safest bet of playing that quality time.
“Yeah, I came in for the party last night. I actually don’t live that far away. Jason invited me over for breakfast, I hope you don’t mind.” Jacob said. He was looking better than I remembered, if that was at all possible. I took the seat next to him on the couch.
“Aw, I wish I would have known that, I would have found you.”
“Ha, well. I’m kind of glad you didn’t, I was actually pretty far gone.”
“Oh, well. Still, it would have been nice to talk.”
“Well, I’ll be here for the rest of the weekend. Jason and I are flying back Monday morning. Will you be here?”
I hesitated. I really didn’t have any reason to be at home, I was set to start work whenever I felt ready. I was planning on going back Monday, but I didn’t have to be there until three, when the kids got out of school. Still, I didn’t want to be here witnessing Kayla and Jason.
“I’m not sure yet. My roommate is supposed to be coming up tonight to pick me up. I don’t know if she plans on staying the night and leaving in the morning, or what.”
“Well, it would be cool if you stayed, it would be nice to hang out.”
Looking at his eyes I realized that they weren’t actually brown. The outer edges were, which gave his eyes an overall brown appearance, but the inside were actually green, and the green shirt he was wearing seemed to bring that out even more.
“Your eyes are gorgeous.” I said, and immediately was embarrassed. I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks.
“Thanks.” He said, smiling. He had dimples! I literally felt myself swoon. This guy was probably some sort of United States secret weapon against females and gay men.
We ate breakfast, and I tried to focus on anyone but Jason and Kayla, which was next to impossible to do. He kept whispering things in her ear that made her smile, and they were always touching each other. I barely touched anything, and ended up excusing myself early. I didn’t have to fake anything, my headache was back with a vengeance and I felt sick to my stomach.
I laid down and took a short nap, waking up shortly after to my cell phone ringing.
I groped for it blindly, not bothering to open my eyes. “Hello?” I answered, groggily.
“Hey, I’m headed down there in a little bit, I’m so bummed I missed the party!” Jarren exclaimed.
“Oh. Well.” I still wasn’t sure that I wanted to stay, but I did feel badly that Jarren missed the party. “You off tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow and Monday, and then I work ‘till Saturday. Sucks, I never get a weekend off.” She complained.
“Well, they’re partying again tonight, I guess. It’s a little more low-key, but if you want to stay…”
“Yes!” She squealed. “We can totally just come back Monday! I’ll get to spend time with Drew.
Ooooh, he’s going to love that, I thought. “Can you just bring me some stuff?”
“Anything.”
I listed off the clothes I wanted, asking for four outfits, two dressier, two comfortable. I wasn’t sure what kind of mood I’d be in, and I wanted to have my bases covered.
I went out into the living room, where the group was still sitting, talking and laughing, nibbling at leftovers. I stood at the bedroom door, watching them. I felt awkward, like an outsider. I didn’t know how to bust into their conversation, and I didn’t know if I wanted too. I felt relieved that Jarren was on her way, glad to have someone that I knew was directly connected to me, but I was panicked to know that I still had two days and two nights to get through before I could go home and let my guard down.
“Ella!” Nick called, spotted me. I shuffled into the room. “Toni made cookies!” He waved a plate in front of my face. I grabbed one, even though I didn’t really feel like it, and sat on the arm of Nick’s chair to nibble on it.
“We’re talking about doing a camping trip, Ella. Like old times, how awesome would that be?” Jason exclaimed.
“Oh. Camping. Yay.” I joked. I was surprised that Jason was talking to me, remembering how he reacted last night. I realized Toni was right. He had been too drunk to remember. “Jarren’s heading up.”
“You’re going home?” Drew piped up, sounding disappointed.
“I was hoping you’d stay for camping.” Jacob added.
“Why do you guys want to spend your last two days in civilization camping, anyway?”
“Because it’s fun!” Jason answered me.
“Whatever. I mean, Jarren said she could stay, but if you take me, you have to take her as well.” I said, eyeing Drew. Jarren had the tendency to be slightly annoying, but easy to ignore. Drew, however, got the most agitated by her.
He rolled his eyes. “I guess if that’s the only way you’ll stay.” He replied.

I was not excited about camping. I liked the outdoors, don’t get me wrong. I loved the fact that I got paid this past summer to spend loads of time outside. Still, I had the basics. A toilet, running water, a shower, an actual bed, a cabin. Sleeping on the ground? For fun? You’ve got to be kidding me. Still, Nick’s parents owned land not too far away, and the area was beautiful. They had planned on building a cabin on it, but had yet to get around to it, so it was the place we always set up shop. There was a large lake where the boys tended to set up shop near, and between Nick, Drew, and Jason, they had tons of camping gear. There were a few things they had picked up over the years due to my demands (a portable loo, for example, the worlds best invention.) But we still had to bathe in the lake.
The boys went off to collect their gear, compiling lists and bickering about who’s car to pack what in as they walked out the door. Kayla excused herself to go pack, which left Toni and I alone.

“I’m sorry about this morning, Ella.” Toni said as soon as the door closed. “I didn’t mean to come off like I was judging you.” She stood from her chair, and without waiting for me to answer, continued “now, we should go to the store and get some food for this little fiasco.”
Although I was still angry, I decided to let it slide. I quickly texted Jarren the camping plans, telling her to scrap my dressier clothes and warning her that she should pack accordingly. Then I joined Toni in the car as we headed off to the store.

We arrived at the camp site, Jarren and I following behind the caravan of cars. The guys packed way too much stuff. Air mattresses, tents, coolers, grills, chairs, canopies, alcohol, there was probably even a kitchen sink thrown in there somewhere. I was happy to be alone with Jarren, and separated from the group for a minute, even if all Jarren talked about was Drew.
“So, do you think he and I will sleep in the same tent?” She asked.
If Drew really wanted it, I’m sure they packed enough tents for each of us to have our own. But I knew that wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear.
“My guess is there will be four in a tent. Toni, Nick, Jason and Kayla, and then the rest of us.”
“Jacob’s pretty hot, isn’t he?” She asked, barely even registering what I said.
“He’s alright.” I lied. I walked with her around to the back of the car, which she had placed our bags, along with a few pillows and blankets she had grabbed. I was grateful for that, as I believed it was the one thing the guys forgot.
We all got to work setting up camp. The canopy was used as an eating area, a card table and chairs set up underneath. The grill was placed close, but not close enough that we’d get hit with the smoke. Tents were set up, and as I expected, the two bigger ones were used. They both claimed to sleep eight, so we probably could have squeezed all of us into one, but I was glad when they opted to use two to give us more space. I didn’t know if I could stomach a cramped tent filled with Kayla, Jason, and much resentment on my part.
The boys starting drinking right away, of course, and I was surprised when Jarren actually distanced herself from Drew.
She caught my look and winked, “playing hard to get.” She said.
The girls opened up the snacks, and we sat down to play cards while the boys did stupid boy things. The more they drank, the more outrageous their antics got. They were racing, wrestling, showing off, and occasionally coming over to steal snacks and bother us. When the sun started to set, the boys built a fire. There had been talk before hand on how the guys were going to go find our food in the woods, joking about fishing and hunting squirrels, but they had such a buzz on that I’m surprised they were even able to build a fire. I watched them, nervously, as the girls all jokingly placed bets on which one would end up in the ER tonight.
“Oooh, my big strong hunter.” Toni joked as Nick opened up a package of hotdogs.
“You just can’t find wild hot dogs anymore, hon.” Nick joked back.

Even the simplest food tastes so much better when it’s cooked over an open flame. We had hotdogs with beans, as well as a variety of chips, but it was one of the best meals I had in a long time.
After dinner we sat around the fire, Nick, Drew, and Jason telling stories about growing up. I have paid attention, annoyed that Kayla was sitting in between Jason’s legs, her back resting on his chest. I shivered, the night growing cold, and wrapped my arms around myself.
“Cold?” Jacob asked, walking up behind me. He dropped his sweatshirt around me. I smiled up at him, grateful.
He sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around me and rubbing my arm up and down quickly. The friction caused me to warm up, but he still held me close to his side. I didn’t fight it, but leaned my head in on his shoulder.
“I’m glad you chose to stay. I was a little bummed we didn’t get much of a chance to hang out when you were in California.”
“Yeah well.” I said, looking up at Jason. He was already looking at Jacob and I, but I couldn’t read his expression. “I had other things on my mind.”
Jacob followed my gaze to Jason, and dropped his arm. He kind of stiffened, and I picked my head up off my shoulder.
“Oh, I didn’t know it was like that.” He said, leaning away from me.
I felt bad, and pulled him back to me. “It was.” I said. “It’s not anymore.”
Jacobs body relaxed, and he put his arm back around me. “Well, good. Because as I said before, I think Jason was right, and I’d like to get to know you better.”
I snuggled back into him, looking over at Jason again, who was still watching us. “Good, I’d like that.”
The fire crackled, and I noticed that both Drew and Jarren were missing. I felt a pang when I realized that they were probably together, but quickly shook it off. Drew wasn’t mine, and even so, he would never hook up with Jarren. Would he? And would it matter if he did?
Of course not, I thought to myself. But even cuddled up to Jacob, I couldn’t shake an annoying, nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Yet another authors note (I am making this a habit, aren't I?)

I got a couple of comments on Tater, the dog I wrote about who died of Parvo, and I juat had to touch on it a little bit. I wanted to write back in the comments, but I wasn't sure if they'd check back. Some of this blog is true. I did have a friend named Jason who I was very much in love with. He did join the Marines, after which is seemed to turn into a complete and utter idiot (nothing against the troops, I support them and could NEVER do what they do, but my Jason DID change after he joined. Part of me can't blame him, but part of me always will.) All the guys in the story are modeled after a guy I've known in real life. Including Tater.
Everything I wrote about Tater is true, it happened. So when the you guys wrote about losing one of your animal-loves, trust me, I can relate. It's never easy, not when you have time to say goodbye, or when it happens suddenly. Men come and go, but animals loves will tell you, a dog is forever, and will break your heart in ways you can never imagine. And it's probably the only time a male or female is worth that kind of heartbreak, because while they're here, dogs will love with such a passion that I personally will never experience again (and I adore my husband, lol, he just doesn't follow me around like Tater did, wait for me to come home like Tater does, ect.)

I also heard a couple people would like to know more about me. I'm 23 years old, I'm married, I have a son who's about to turn a year old. We're trying for our second (that may be TMI, but obviously if I get pregnant and have the baby, postings probably going to get cut down.) My son is crawling, trying to walk, saying hi and bye, and all in all the cutest baby boy ever. I have two dogs, four cats (soon to be three, but we'll probably get suckered into rescuing another.) I did fostering for awhile, and I have to say, if you're thinking about getting a dog, I would foster first as a trial run. It's the best thing ever. Organizations, here at least, will often pay for vet care, and sometimes even food, so your only requirement is to take care of and love the dog, take it to vet visits, and sometimes to adoption events. And, if you fall in love, you often get first dibs on adoption. It's the perfect way to help out and see if you're ready for a dog full time, or "try on" different breeds to see which works best for you. While I prefer mutts, there are also breed-specific rescues you could foster for if you're looking for a specific dog. I like to read (ALWAYS open to book suggestions, and if you need one, I have a million, I love Wally Lamb, Jodi Picoult, and even though she's a teen author, Sarah Dessen.), write, and generally I'm a homebody who hangs out with my family and friends. I also worked at a non-profit agency as described, and the stories I've wrote thus far about the kids are pretty much true (although, I never did take a puppy into the kids. A kitten, and we had a pet rat, but never a puppy.) I spent four summers as a camp counselor, four years running an after school program, and then these last few years I've gone back in the summers to teach different subjects (one year I was an art teacher, NEVER again. Someone wise once said glitter is the the craft world's herpes, and it's true!) and this past year I did some creative writing with the kids (which was super sad/interesting.) I also have to touch base on fostering a child. If you can, do it. I haven't done it yet, but I hope too once we get the room. I've worked with many foster kids, and I feel it would be a very rewarding experience.

I'm always open to questions, comments, opinions. I don't mind if you discuss things in the comment sections, on or off topic. I don't care if you debate, but please know that there IS a difference between debating and arguing. You can debate your points, and disagree with each other, but being mean, name calling, whatever, just won't be tolerated. If someone has an opinion, you can disagree, but they don't need to be "run out of town" so to speak. People can love me, like me, dislike me or hate me, it doesn't bother me. I don't proof-read, and I'm not going too. I have spell check but that doesn't usually save me from when I use the wrong word but spell it right. I hate proof reading. So, if that bothers you, this probably isn't the place for you to be.