You were born for leavin'

I half expected to be woken up in the middle of the night by him – whether it was to argue or make up, but I wasn’t. When I opened my eyes, I wasn’t even sure he had gotten into bed with me, but there he was – staring at me.

Instantly I felt annoyed all over again. Not just by Kylie, but I thought the whole “watching you while you sleep” thing is creepy, and it freaked me out a little whenever I had a boyfriend who did it. I didn’t look beautiful when I slept – I’ve seen pictures of me asleep, mouth hanging open, drool coming out. It wasn’t pretty. Why would you want to stare at that?

“What?” I snapped, unable to help myself.

“You’re still mad.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“No, I’m not.” I said, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of our bed.

“Now you’re mad and lying about it.”

I sighed. Loudly and dramatically. “I’m not mad Seth. That’s too strong of a word. I’m… Annoyed. Aggrivated. Those are better choices.”

“Same thing, isn’t it?” He asked.

“No. I don’t think so.” I said, shuffling to my suitcase and rifling through it to find something to wear.

He was quiet for a moment, but I heard him sit up, and I could feel his eyes staring at me.

“What?” I snapped again, without turning around.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re looking at me.”

“Oh now I can’t even look at you?” Seth countered, the annoyance rising in his voice. “Isn’t that a little childish? Kinda like “Mom, he’s breathing on me!?”

I wanted to lash out at him. Now I was getting angry. Personally I thought it was a little childish and immature to let someone get their way just because you didn’t want to deal with the consequences. But I knew yelling at Seth was just going to make this whole thing get bigger, and really, I just wanted it to go away and enjoy the rest of my vacation here.

“Are we OK?” Seth asked, breaking the silence.

I turned slowly and went back to sit on the bed.

“We’re fine, Seth. It’s an argument. It happens even in the best of couples. In fact, I’m more suspicious of couples who never fight than the ones who fight all the time… I was angry last night. I felt like you… Picked Kylie over me.”

“How did I do that? I would have come and talked to you, but you were chatting it up with your new best friend Drew – who, may I add, is also your ex who I’ve had no complaints of hanging around.”

“First of all Seth, you’re coming across as really jealous, and I thought you told me you didn’t get jealous? That you trusted until you had a reason not too? I’ve never given you a reason not too, so you can back off that road any time now. Secondly, it’s different with Drew. Drew was my friend before he and I dated. And yes, we had a rough patch where we fought. But you’ll notice I wasn’t the one bringing him around then, your ex girlfriend was – who I’ve never protested being around either.”

I looked at Seth, expecting him to break in with a ‘but’ or some sort of excuse, but his mouth was closed and his eyes were looking out the window.

“I mean it’s not so much that she’s your ex, Seth. It’s that you don’t like her. And I guess I’m just confused as to why you would let someone you didn’t like hang around, especially when it made so many other people uncomfortable as well. I mean Chloe doesn’t like her, Christi isn’t a fan, and I wasn’t happy.”

“I just know Kylie. And I know kicking her out wouldn’t have been easy, and it would have turned into a scream match and everyone would have been even more uncomfortable.”

“I think you’re wrong.”

“You don’t even know her Ella, you don’t know how she is.”

“I’ve heard plenty of stories Seth, and I don’t doubt how she is, she sounds like a total bitch. I’m not saying she wouldn’t have freaked out, but personally I would have rather dealt with that and seen you stand up for not only yourself but everyone else around you. I would have loved to see you put her in her place. Because all she learned from last night is that she can still treat you however she wants and then throw out a fake ass apology and get taken back.” I was getting angry all over again.

“I didn’t take her back. Now you sound like the jealous one.”

“You know Seth, in a way I am jealous. She is gorgeous, and you obviously still care about her, if you’re still willing to let her walk on you like that. But on the other hand, if you left me for her? I wouldn’t care. It would be good luck to you bud. She may be prettier than me, but good looks only get you so far, and with her personality it’s not long before everyone sees how ugly she really is. I’m done talking about this, it’s not getting us anywhere and I’m wasting my breath.” I stood, gathering my clothes and heading for the bathroom to shower.

After a few minutes of standing under the hot water, I began to relax a little. It was over, right? I mean yes, Kylie had put a dent in my vacation, but she was gone now. If I let her get to me now… Well, that was my own fault. I had a hard time with forgiveness though, and a part of me still wanted me to be mad at Seth for letting it happen. I mean if I came out and acted like everything was OK, would he think that he was off the hook that easily? I mean he hadn’t even really apologized…

The whole shower I went back and forth, arguing with myself on whether I was making this a bigger deal than it needed to be, or if Seth needed to be ‘punished’. I eventually gave up when the water ran cold, and decided that it’s not like he made a habit of doing hurtful things, and I didn’t need the rest of this much needed vacation ruined.

My shower was long, but I still expected Seth to be waiting for me when I got out. He wasn’t. I was a little surprised, but shrugged it off. Maybe he had needed some space too, or maybe he decided to use one of the other showers in the house. I took some extra time, drying my hair and putting on some make up. Then I left my room and headed downstairs.

I met Christi on the stairs.

“You OK?” She asked, looking at me curiously.

“I’m fine. I was just a little aggravated last night.”

She nodded. “Yeah well…” She trailed off. “Did he talk to you?”

“Kind of. I mean, I don’t know if anything’s really resolved, but…” I shrugged. “It’s my vacation. I need it. I’m not going to let some skank ruin it for me.”

“Wow. You’re way better than I am… I actually think Drew and I are going to cut things short, rent a car and head back home.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised. I didn’t realize or really understand why Christi would be that upset to leave.

“Yeah, Chloe said she might come too… I dunno. If you want to leave, let me know. We’ll make room for you.”

“I think I’m fine. Thanks though.”

She again, looked me up and down curiously, and then shrugged and continued on upstairs.

I headed down the stairs and heard voices coming from the kitchen, so I headed in that direction. I stopped in my tracks as soon as I hit the door.

Kylie, bent over the table, wearing a shirt I recognized as Seth’s, and either really short shorts or nothing else. She was leaning across and talking to Seth. He didn’t notice me in the doorway at first, but when he did, his eyes got wide.

“Ella, I can…”

“We? Are not OK.” I said, turning on my heel and heading back upstairs.

Cayden's birthday is tomorrow, and we've been running around this past weekend to do things to get ready for it and his party. I'm hoping to be able to get a post done today, or at least the majority of it done, and then finish it tomorrow during nap time so I can have it up on time on Wednesday.

However, if that doesn't happen, there WILL be a post this week - it just may not come until Friday at the absolute latest. I figured on getting it done this weekend, but we ended up going out with my in laws yesterday as well as doing his 2 year pictures and Saturday we were getting party supplies together (or attempting too. We went to a bunch of different targets looking for Elmo treat bags and couldn't find any. Finally at toys r us they had them, but for a dollar more than Target would have charged. Ugh.)

Anyway, just wanted to give you a heads up!

Must you do the things you do? You keep on acting like a fool

I knew who Kylie was as soon as she walked back. And instantly, I was annoyed by her. She was beautiful, and normally that would intimidate me, but all it ended up doing was pissing me off. She had shiny, straight, long dark brown hair – almost black. Everything on her seemed… Sharp. She flashed a big white smile at me when she approached, and again, while normally I might be obsessing over just how straight and white her teeth were, all I could think about were how the ends looked razor sharp.

She was beautiful, but her beauty was the typed that just screamed “I’m a bitch.”

And again, normally I might hesitate to judge a book by it’s cover, but from everything I heard about Kylie, I knew I was right.

I sat in my chair, feeling highly agitated and ready to fight. I felt a little bad for snapping at Seth, as I wasn’t quite sure this could be blamed on him – but I just wasn’t sure who to blame it on. I knew it wasn’t my fault, and I knew I couldn’t even really start a fight without seeming like I was the bitchy one. So I sat there, quiet and seething, and each time I heard Kylie’s stupid fake laugh, I had to hold myself back from leaping up and punching her in the face.

I didn’t even realize I was bouncing my leg until Drew walked over and sat down next to me, placing his hand to stop the jiggling.

“You’re making it obvious.” He said quietly.

“What?” I asked.

“That she’s getting to you. It’s what she wants to do, obviously, and you’re making it pretty clear that it’s working.”

“What am I supposed to do? Hang all over Seth and rub it in her face? Or go over and trade backhanded compliments with her, like she’s my new bestie?”

“No. You’re just supposed to act normal.”

“I don’t feel normal.” I seethed through my teeth.

He was quiet, and I again, I felt bad for snapping at him when it wasn’t his fault.

“Did you know my Mom’s getting married?” He asked, after a moment of silence.

“No.” I said, shocked again.

“Yeah, she called me awhile ago. She keeps bugging me to go to the wedding.”
“…Are you going?” I asked, cautiously. This is how Drew and I used to talk, and while we said we had made up, I didn’t think that we would jump back to normal so quickly and easily. I was worried if I pushed too much, he would bolt.

He shrugged again and was quiet. I worried that I had said too much.

“The thing is…” He started, a moment later. “I don’t really like to talk about it too much. Because, well… It makes me sound horrible. And I’m so used to her sounding like the horrible one, you know? It was just easier to play the victim, I guess. But no. I don’t think I will be going. I really have no desire to see her, or be a part of her life. I wish she would just leave me alone.”

I forgot about Kylie and Seth, and instantly my agitation was gone and replaced with concern for Drew.

“I mean she’s trying though… That’s got to give her some points, right?”
He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. Leaning back he took a long sip of his beer, and I worried that I had angered him.

“I guess you’re right. It should count, but it doesn’t… It’s just, for me… Too little too late, you know? I mean for years this is all I wanted, my Mom to wake up and be happy. But I didn’t think she’d do it without us, which is what pretty much happened. And I mean… I guess sometimes you just need to move on, which is what she’s trying to do, which I can kind of understand – but the fact that really bugs me is she’s not acknowledging the past at all. She’s acting like it’s always been so normal. She’s forgetting that for most of my life she’s been this absentee parent and now she just wants to step back in, no questions asked. It’s almost like on sitcoms where they’d replace a character with a different actor. Like nobody’s going to notice.”

“Have you told her any of this?”

“No. I just feel like she should know. Which I realize sounds really unfair but… I mean, how could she not know?”

I shrugged. “I mean… Maybe she just thinks it’s easier for everyone – you included – to just gloss over the past. Not talk about it.”

“I know that’s it. But I just don’t think it’s fair to let her off the hook so easily. Again, I know it makes me sound horrible, but I want her to acknowledge the fact that she was a shitty mother, and apologize for it. It’s like, she thinks I should just be there for her because she is my Mom – but she hasn’t bothered to act like one for my whole life, so why should I cut her that break? She’s practically a stranger.”

We were quiet for a moment, and I realized what Drew was doing. Talking about something he probably wouldn’t have talked about normally in order to get my mind of Kylie. I surveyed the party and also noticed Drew was right – the fact that I had been acting normal had in turn annoyed Kylie, and it was clear she had upped her volume and her antics to try to get to me – moving closer to Seth, tossing her hair and flirting with him. I waited for that feeling of agitation to come back, but it didn’t. Instead I felt kind of sorry for her – her fiancé looked bored and annoyed and Seth looked annoyed as well. I had to stifle a little laugh, and then turned my attention back to Drew.

“You talk to Christi about this at all?” I asked, unable to hide my curiosity about their relationship.

He shrugged. “I tried too, a couple of times. She keeps asking when she gets to meet my Mom and stuff. I let it slip about Mom’s wedding and she was gung ho on going. I tried to explain to her how I felt and she jumped into therapist mode, trying to tell me how I needed to talk to my Mom about my feelings and blah blah blah. So I just kind of stopped talking about it, and she asks occasionally but we got into a big fight and she backed off. The thing is, I know I’ll talk to Mom eventually. Probably. But I really think right now I’m just so angry that it’s not going to do any good.”

I sat, quietly, trying to think about what to tell him. I always thought I was horrible in these situations – I could listen to problems, but usually had no idea what to say. I usually tried to come up with something, and it always sounded so fake and forced to me – probably because I knew it was. So this time, I decided to go with a different approach.

“I don’t know what to tell you Drew. I do think you should be honest with your Mom, but I think if you do it now, when you know you aren’t ready, it’s just going to end in a fight. I think you should maybe just ignore her for awhile. Don’t take her phone calls, don’t read her emails, just give it some time. You’ll know when you’re ready. Sorry it’s not the best advice, but it’s all I’ve got.”

“No, no. It’s great advice.” He smiled at me, and I felt my stomach flip. I looked away, trying to hide the blush I felt creeping across my face.

Unfortunately, when I looked away, I caught Seth’s eye. The look on his face was not a happy one, and I could tell he had been watching Drew and I talk.
Immediately the agitated feeling came back, and I rolled my eyes at him. It was OK for him to have an ex-girlfriend over and talk to her, when he didn’t even like her company, but I wasn’t allowed to talk to Drew, who had been a good friend before we dated, and was now a good friend after?

“Well.” I said, standing. “I’m really tired. I’m going to hit the hay.”

Seth stood up as well. “I’ll come with you.”

I shook my head – I knew what would happen if we went to bed together. We would fight, and I really just didn’t want to deal with it tonight.

“No. Stay. Hang out with your friend.” I said, smiling at Kylie. “Goodnight all.”

And without waiting for him to answer, I walked inside and shut the door.

Seth's POV: Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

I had wanted her to make up with Drew. I knew it was a source of unhappiness in her life, and really I knew the trip would be a lot more fun if there wasn’t this elephant that walked into the room every time Drew and Ella were together… But I just didn’t trust how quickly it all came together, especially after hearing what Christi said about her not being sure she was in love with Drew. Maybe Drew felt it too, realized that Ella was it for him, and was using this as a ploy to try to get her back.

I shook my head. Maybe I was just being paranoid. Seeing Kylie had thrown me for a loop, and it also made me realize how easy I had it with Ella. Hardly any fighting, and when we did fight, we were quick to talk it over. Ella had stood by me throughout all the hospital stays Chloe had, the canceled dates… She never uttered a peep about it being unfair, or how my family must have meant more to me than her. She just understood, because my family meant just as much to her as they did to me, and she saw that in this time, they needed to come first. I used to dream of having a relationship that was so easy and natural, but now I was figuring out that being in one was hard too – it seemed like I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I sighed and stood entering the house and grabbing a beer from the kitchen. I looked around, and smiled to see that everyone looked happy. Yeah, this is what I wanted. Chloe was back, and definitely flirting with Matt – and while for a second my over-protective brother instincts kicked in, I knew it was good for her. And honestly, I got a little hope from seeing that she was even interested in someone. It showed that maybe she wasn’t giving up just yet, and with that thought, another weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I took a long swig as Ella came up behind me, wrapping her arms around me.

“Thought you were starving? Why aren’t you chowing down yet?” She asked.

I turned, facing her. “Just…” I paused, searching for the word. “Decompressing.” I finally came up with.

“Well, forget about her. She already messed up such a big part of your life. Besides, it’s so very clear that you dropped the zero and got with a hero.” She said, smiling up at me.

I laughed, and it even caught me unexpected. “You’re my hero eh?”

“Yup.” She said, smiling herself.

“Why’s that?”

“Cuz I already made up a plate for your starving self – and I grabbed you the biggest steak.”

“You are my hero.” I said, kissing her forehead before she pulled away.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” She called over her shoulder, walking away.

We all gathered around the table out back. The rain had stopped and the girls had wiped off the table and chairs. I had been a little skeptical of Drew and Ella making up – especially so quickly – but I had to admit the cloud that had hung over the group seemed to have lifted. Conversation flowed, and stories were shared, and the awkward pauses that always seemed to occur after Drew or Ella spoke had stopped. This was the vacation I had been wanting, this is the vacation that I knew Chloe needed and deserved, and the same with Ella. I felt myself relax into the chair, feeling full and warm and happy. It may seem like such a small thing, but the whole “waiting for the other shoe to drop” metaphor was actually quite fitting for everything in my life. I was always waiting for Ian to snap and have to go off and save him, or my Mom to crack under Chloe’s condition, or Chloe to get sicker, or the balance of school, family and relationship to get thrown so that everything went toppling to the ground. I guess I just hadn’t realized how tightly wound I was until I was unwound. Even the situation with Kylie didn’t bother me much anymore. She made me angry, but if anything she showed me how lucky I was to be in a caring and healthy relationship.

As if on cue, Christi broke out into song – singing God bless the broken road by Rascal Flatts. She was singing it jokingly to Drew (she must have forgotten about her earlier confession about not being sure if she wanted to be with Drew, because she was perched on his lap as she was singing.) Christi often randomly broke out into song, but the song choice was so eerily fitting that a shiver ran through me. Ella felt it and shot me a look, smiling and squeezing my hand.

“Cold?” She asked.

I shook my head. “Just a fitting song, especially with the whole Kylie mess today.”

Ella nodded. “I guess. But, I mean, it’s a fitting song for anyone. People rarely find their soul mates on the first try, and I think that’s a good thing. I don’t think people realize how lucky they are until they’ve been with less than perfect, ya know?”

“True.” I agreed.

Christi had stopped singing and the conversation went on. The girls kept getting up to get more beers and food, and even though the night cooled considerably, we remained on the porch. Just when I was about to suggest bringing out the fire pit and moving the party to the yard, I heard a car pull up.

“Who’s that?” Christi asked, looking at me.

I shrugged. “Dunno. I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

I untangled myself from Ella and rose, along with Matt, and walked to the front yard. But, I heard her voice before I saw her, and immeadiately the good feelings the night had given me slipped away.

“Kylie, what the hell are you doing here?” I growled more than said. I thought I had made it pretty clear earlier that she wasn’t welcome, and honestly, while I knew Kylie tended to get what she wanted, I didn’t figure she’d be ballsy enough to show up after the show down we had earlier.

“Aw Sethers,” she purred, and my stomach rolled. “I felt bad about what happened earlier. I acted like a complete and total bitch – seeing you just caught me off guard. I wanted to stop by, apologize, and introduce you to Carson. My fiancé? He’s heard so much about you and wanted to meet you.”

Carson smiled and reached a hand forward. When Kylie said she had a fiancé, I figured she was making it up to try to make me jealous. Kylie was gorgeous, and didn’t have a problem snagging guys, and even keeping them trapped in her web for awhile. But, I never figured she’d snag one dumb enough to want to be with her for life. If Kylie was the same person I knew, enough eventually became enough, and you just had to cut your losses and walk away. Still, maybe she had changed.

I reached forward and shook Carson’s hand. I still didn’t really want either one of them here, but I knew kicking them out would just start another fight. I wasn’t sure letting them stay was much better, but I was sure it was the lesser of two evils.

“So. Where’s Chloe? I’ve missed her.” Kylie said, not waiting for me to invite her back before she started walking towards the deck.

The party had carried on while we were out front, but as soon as Kylie was spotted, there was a noticeable and awkward pause.

Christi was the first to break the silence. “What are you doing here?” She asked, doing nothing to tried to hide the resentment in her voice. Christi and Kylie had been less than friendly while we were together.

“Oh Chrissy…” Kylie said, and Christi rolled her eyes. She hated that nickname, which was why Kylie always called her it. “I apologized to Sethers already, I wanted to apologize to you as well. The past is the past, right? I shouldn’t have acted like such a bitch today. I’m sorry.”

“Uh huh.” Was Christi’s response. She promptly went on ignoring Kylie and picked back up her conversation with Drew. Christi knew ignoring her would get under Kylie’s skin – and that’s why she did it whenever Kylie was around.

“Chloe!” Kylie squealed, and Chloe winced. “How ARE you? How are you feeling?” Kylie said, her voice dripping with fake sympathy.

“Fine, Kylie. I’m fine. How have you been?” Chloe, like me, wanted to avoid the drama.

Now, Kylie’s favorite subject to talk about was, well, Kylie. Chloe opened the floodgates by asking how she had been, and Kylie launched into it, going on and on about her life and what she had been doing, and then launching into Carson and how they had met. I took this opportunity to leave (with Chloe shooting me a look of hatred.) And walked over to Ella.

“So.” She said cooly. “That’s Kylie, huh?”

“Ella I’m sorry – I told her not to come here. I didn’t think she would.”

“And you couldn’t ask her to leave?” She shot back.

“I could.” I admitted. “I just didn’t want to get into it again. We were having such a great night and…”

“And this makes it better?” She said, nodding her head towards Kylie, who was still talking poor Chloe’s ear off.

“No. But, I figured it was the better of two options.” I said, shrugging.

“I just thought this was supposed to be MY vacation, Seth.” Ella was keeping her tone hushed, and light, as not to draw attention. But I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was not happy. “We had so much… Awkwardness between Drew and I, and now it finally gets fixed and she shows up? And you think it’s better to just let her stay?”

“You’re not really being fair Ella. It IS your vacation, but it’s also everyone elses. I already dragged Christi into it earlier with Kylie. You don’t know her like I know her – I just wanted to save everyone from that. And, I’m sorry – but we are here with YOUR ex. I’ve hung out with SEVERAL of your exes. And you’re telling me you can’t put up with one of mine?”

“That’s not fair, it’s different and you know it. My exes don’t have feelings for me.”

“Oh come on Ella. We both know that’s not true.” I said, and was a little uneasy when I saw her blush.

“And I deal with Christi – she’s your ex!”

“Oh Christi doesn’t count, dating her was an experiment that failed, it wasn’t serious and it didn’t matter. You were talking about living with Drew. I hung out with you and Jason – a guy you pined after for years. Seriously Ella, cut me a break.”

She nodded – I’m not sure what for, and dropped the subject. But she kept her lips pursed and pulled her hand away from mine.

I was hoping nobody saw the exchange between us, but when I glanced up I saw Kylie watching us, with a small smile playing across her face.

Just keeping you posted

We planned to move next weekend, but decided to do it this weekend and give ourselves next weekend to clean up (because frankly my house is a wreck.) We're now moved in and a good deal done with unpacking, but we're having internet issues (my husband dropped the router and broke it, so wireless isn't working.) I can still get on, but I have to wait until my brother is done with it (I feel like I'm 12 again.) If I finish the post before Wednesday I will just schedule it to post, but if not it may not be up till later on Wednesday. Sorry for all the starts and stops guys! Just trying to get settled in. September's a crazy month, but I think things are dead after then until the baby comes!

I didn't want to break your heart

Sorry so late guys, TOTALLY forgot today was my first day back... We're moving this weekend so hopefully next week is smoother! Oh, and Kbear asked for a link to the previous entries - here's the link to the last one: http://nothingmorethanapathy.blogspot.com/2010/05/tonis-pov-dont-try-to-fix-me-im-not.html If you want to go back further, right above the title of a post there's a blue bar that says home entries and comments, just click the entries link. Hope that helps!


I planned to fill Seth in on everything that had happened while he was gone when he got back. But when he walked in, I saw his face – stormy and angry. I had only seen it like that once before – when Jarren had jumped me. I stopped and watched him for a moment.

“Hey.” I said, touching his arm gently. He glared at me, and I removed my hand quickly.

“Sorry, El.” He said, shaking his head. He offered me a weak smile. “Let me go get the rest of the groceries, OK?” He kissed me on my head and walked back out.

I watched him, confused, when Christi walked in.

“Don’t mind him.” She said, setting down some bags. “Come back out to the porch. After that, I need a beer.”

“What happened?” I asked, following her. By now my ankle was sore, but I could walk on it with only a little discomfort.

Christi leaned into the fridge and pulled out a beer. She offered me one, which I shook my head too. She glanced at the door, and seeing Seth make his way up the porch, she said “come outside, and I’ll explain.

I waited patiently for her to dry off a couple of deck chairs and settle in. She took a few swigs of her beer.

“So?” I prodded.

“Seth used to live out here. When his Gramps got sick, they still hoped he’d get better and be able to come home. So he stayed out here – kept an eye on the place and his Grandpa. Well, he met someone. Kylie. They were pretty serious while he was out here. But then it became clear that his Grandpa wasn’t coming home, and he had planned on staying longer, to take over things, but then Chloe got sick, so… He headed home. It was supposed to be a temporary thing, we all thought Chloe would beat this thing pretty quickly.” She paused then, and took another swig of beer. Then she sighed and continued. “Anyway, Kylie… She was pretty mad that he stayed away, and even more pissed when he enrolled in school. I mean Seth still planned on coming back, but his sister and family was number one… He kept hoping it’d be over soon, and he could transfer to a school near here… But Kylie didn’t care. To make a long story short, Kylie just created a ton of drama – something Seth really didn’t need at the time. He was running ragged, trying to make it up here every chance he got, trying to take care of Chloe and his family who really were just falling apart, and balancing school. Anyway, one night Seth had plans to come up here, but Chloe got really sick. I mean Ella, we were really thinking we were going to lose her. Anyway, Seth called to explain to Kylie, and she just went nuts – she went so far as to tell Seth she hoped Chloe died so this could all be over with.”

“Oh man, that’s horrible!” I exclaimed.

“I know. But on one hand… I kind of get it. I mean they had these plans and they just went to hell. Anyway, she apologized later, and promised to make things easier on him… And she tried, but they still had their fights, and then there were accusations thrown out that there was cheating. Seth broke up with her a couple times, but they’d get back together. Finally, after a rough couple fights they broke up for good. Seth swore off long distance relationships forever. Anyway, whole point to this story… We just ran into her. And it wasn’t pretty.”

“What happened?” I asked, now sitting on the edge of my seat.

“Well, it started out OK. They exchanged hello’s and how are you’s and all that. She asked about Chloe and his family… Then she invited herself over to catch up. Seth mentioned he was here with his girlfriend, and of course she narrowed her eyes at me – like we were back together. Then she started going on and on about how she had a fiancé and all this other stuff… I mean it just quickly turned into a one-up each other thing, and then into a accusation thing about who’s fault the break up was. Seth should have just left, but he didn’t. So now he’s all worked up, wondering if he really was as bad to her as she makes it sounds, and wondering if he’ll repeat the same mistakes with you… I mean really, it’s just one of those situations where two people really loved each other but just weren’t going to work out you know? And now they’re both too angry and hurt to ever be friends again.”

That last part made me think of Drew, Jason, and I. Before I had too much time to dwell on if we were one of those kinds of people, Seth came out.

“Hey… Sorry about earlier.” He glanced at Christi. “I assumed you told her?”

Christi nodded and stood. “You can take my chair. I need a refill. Anyone want anything?”

We both shook our heads and she left. Seth plopped down and was quiet for a moment.

“I mean from the sound of things… It wasn’t your fault.”

He ran a hand over his face. “I mean you’re right. Mostly it wasn’t my fault. But, some of it was. I shouldn’t have promised to come back. I should have been more realistic about Chloe’s diagnosis, and I should have been more honest. I knew I was never coming back… I just wanted to make everyone happy, and I couldn’t, but I kept trying and all I ended up doing was run myself into the ground. Anyway, I never thought long distance things worked… You’re here and I’m there and eventually one of us is going to have to move or it’s never going to come together. I dunno. I was young and stupid and thought if I just held on long enough, we could make it work. But all I ended up doing was holding on long enough to make me hate her. And I do hate everything about her.”

“No you don’t.” I protested.

“OK, hate is a strong word. But I look at her and can’t for the life of me remember what I ever saw in her. And that bugs me the most. I know we had good times, but I can’t remember them at all. So now I have this thing where I tend to leave before the going gets rough, so I can still remember the good times.”

“Is that a warning for me?”

He smiled. “I’ve been working on it. We’ve had our bumps and I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah.” I said, walking over to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me.

“So what happened when I was gone? You guys get caught in the rain?”

“I’m not sure if Matt and Chloe did… They wandered off.”

“Oh no. You left Matt alone with my innocent baby sister?”

“Oh whatever Seth. She’s a grown woman.”

“I know that!” He exclaimed. “That’s why I don’t trust him alone with her!”

I could tell by the look on his face that he was half joking and half serious. I didn’t have any over protective siblings of my own, but I heard enough stories from my friends to know that sometimes older brothers could be torture on boyfriends.

“Matt’s a good guy. You have nothing to worry about.”

“If he’s such a good guy why didn’t you snap him up?”

I shrugged. “When he first moved in, he was dating someone. Then I was with Drew. Now I guess I’m just waiting for you to dump me before I try to snag him, though it looks like Chloe beat me to it.” I said, mock pouting.

“Oh I’ll dump ya alright!” He said, making a move to stand and dump me on the ground.

“Seth!” I squealed, grabbing his shirt. “Don’t!” I said, laughing. “Seriously, I fell and hurt my ankle earlier. Don’t hurt me worse!”

“Oh you poor baby.” He said, sitting back down. “Which ankle?”

I pointed to it, and Seth took a look at it.

“Definitely swollen, but I’ve seen worse. So you fell huh?”

“Yeah, I was heading back to the house from the pond to start dinner, and I fell in a hole. Drew had to carry me.”

“Hmm. Drew did, eh?”

“Yeah, I actually think we made up.”

Seth was quiet for a moment, and I turned to look at him. He studied my face for a second.

“Well. Good then. I just…”

“Food’s done guys.” Drew said, climbing up on the porch with a plate full of meat.

“Oh, good, I’m starving.” Seth said.

“Wait, what were you going to say?” I asked as Drew went in the house.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” He replied, his face looking stormy once again.

I stared at him for a moment, wondering if I should push, and decided against it. Instead I headed inside and left him on the porch alone.