Hey, I ain't trippin but the truth is really, you don't know me.

***If you haven't checked in this week, or checked in on Monday, there is a post below this one that I posted on Tuesday. At the top of that post, you will find a link to the last post I posted before that, if you need to refresh. This will probably be the last post for this week, as I have a paper due and two finals, as well as Eli's first birthday and first birthday party. His birthday is today - HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELI!!! :-) I'm going to try to get a post out next week, but since I don't know what/when my English final is due, it will probably be later in the week!***

I wanted to head out when I got my evening break – after the girls were supposed to be asleep, but not knowing the woods very well, I didn’t trust myself to search in the dark. I hated being a pansy about it, but if Cumulus was stuck or lost, I’d be no help to him if I got stuck or lost myself. I was breaking up a fight about the shower schedules when there was a knock on the front of the cabin door. I rushed down the stairs, wondering if one of the earlier search parties had found Cumulus.
Imagine my surprise to find Santana standing there.
“Everyone decent?” He asked. I nodded, and without being invited in, he entered the cabin.
“GIRLS! DOWN HERE ON THE DOUBLE!” He yelled. He turned to me. “Sorry to take over like this, but mind if I borrow you and your girls for a little bit?”
“Do I have a choice?” I asked. I was slightly annoyed – him being a jackass and then just barging in like this, but more than annoyed, I was curious. I wanted to find out what he was doing.
He studied me for a moment. “You always have a choice Ella.”
By this time, the girls were downstairs, eyeing Santana.
“Whatcha want Mr. Tana? I was just about to hop in the shower.” Infone said. She tried to sound annoyed, but I knew most of the girls had a crush on Santana – or Mr. Tana as he was often called.
“Where’s the dog?” He asked, calmly. Now I was really annoyed. Did he think I hadn’t bothered to ask? Or did he just figured since he was a badass and I was just some suburbian white girl that they’d be honest with him and not me?
Jaleesa sighed, and rolled her eyes. “This again? Seriously, we already told the lady, we didn’t touch her stupid dog. Do I look like I want flea bites?”
Santana crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back on the door. “You all talk so much about being real, and being grown, but when someone asks you to be real, and asks you to be a grown up and own up to what you did, you back down, and you lie. Lying isn’t real, and it’s childish. I’m going to ask you one more time, and if you are so real and so grown, you’re going to answer me with the truth. Where is that dog?”
It fell silent. The girls stared at Santana, but he didn’t seem phased, he just looked right back at them. His face didn’t look angry, or annoyed. It was stone – cool. Still. The quiet lasted for so long that I was about to throw in the towel. That’s when Jaleesa spoke.
“Infone had some potato chips. We used them to get the dog to follow us. Then we bolted.”
I was seeing red, I was so angry. I was about to go off when Santana spoke, so quietly I thought I heard him wrong.
“Go get dressed. All of you.”
“Why Mr. Tana? We need to go to bed.” This was from one of the younger girls – Ebony.
“You guys are going to show me where you took him. And if he’s not still there, we’re going to look for him. And while we’re looking, I want you to think about being alone, out in the woods, with no food, no water. Lost, cold, tired, hungry… This isn’t some object that you stole – it’s a live being. If you had beef with Ms. Ella, you should have taken it up with her.”
Jalessa opened her mouth to protest, but Santana shot her a look. She rolled her eyes, but she backed down.
“Again, it goes back to being real, and being grown. This is not how grown people handle their problems. They talk about things, they work them out. And if they can’t do that, then they leave each other alone. If you girls put this much effort into something productive, it would be amazing what you could do with your lives. But instead you’re hell bent on being hoodrats who destroy everything they touch – including themselves. Go get dressed. I would advise you dress warmly, and wear comfortable shoes. It might be a long night.”
I expected a protest. There were some under breath mumbles and grumblings, but the girls turned and marched upstairs.
“You don’t have to do this.” I said.
“I know.” He was quiet for a moment. “I expected you to quit the first week.”
“Why?” I asked, truly shocked.
He shrugged. “Like I said, I’ve seen your type. They don’t last long here.”
“Do you even know my background at all Santana? Do you have any idea why it’s so frustrating to me to hear you say that?” I sighed, and bent down to pull on my own hiking shoes.
“You don’t have to come with us. I can take the girls.”
“They’re my girls, and it’s my dog. I’m coming.” I snapped.
The girls headed down then, and we headed out, Jaleesa leading the way, much like she led Cumulus away. Nobody spoke for a while, we just walked, breaking the silence by yelling for Cumulus. The girls were a little ways ahead of us – trying to speed this process along, but I was dragging behind, waiting a few moments to see if I could hear him bark. Santana decided to fall back with me.
“What is your background?” He asked. I peered at his face, trying to gauge if he really wanted to know, or was just making conversation. It was hard to see him in the dark, so I let it go.
“You were right about two things. I am white. I did grow up in a wealthy suburban neighborhood. When I was in eighth grade, we had to take this class… They basically lumped everything they needed to teach you but didn’t have a place to do it in this class. Sex ed, home ec… We also had to do volunteer work, and one of the units was on poverty. To make it ‘fun’, we had this game, and we were broken down into families. We had money, but then we also had things taking away from our money. Gas or other transportation bills, childcare, food… We’d have to draw these cards and sometimes good things happened. More often than not it was a problem that we’d have to come up with a solution too. It was just a game to us. We came up with all these crazy schemes that wouldn’t work in the real world. It taught us nothing. But, at the end of that unit, we had to take a tour of the inner city neighborhoods. It shook my whole world. You hear about kids without food, or without homes… But when you actually SEE it… I decided then that was my mission. Those kids. I worked with an agency for years, went to school for it. Now with the economy…” I paused, feeling like I was going to cry. So I just shrugged instead. “I hated leaving my kids for here, but I was starting to feel slightly burnt out, and I knew this would be a change of pace. I also knew practically it’d be good for a resume, if it comes to that. But the main reason I came is because they could stop paying me at the agency. Which bought them some time to hopefully come up with a solution. That agency… It’s all some kids have. I don’t know what they’d do without it. And honestly, I have no idea what I’d do without them.” I paused for a moment, to call Cumulus’ name.
“You know, Santana… I bet these kids get labeled a lot, based on how they look or where they come from. Hell, you might have experienced some of that too. But, it works in both ways. You looked at me and you saw one thing and you didn’t even bother to find out if your assumptions were true or not. I’m sure it happens to these kids a lot more than it happens to me, but it still doesn’t make it right. And even IF I’m just some white suburbian do-gooder, so what? Sure, these kids don’t need more people walking in and out of their lives, but at least someone’s willing to help out for a bit. Whether it’s for six months or six years, why does it matter? You said it yourself, it’s a war, but every war has it’s battles and every battles need soldiers.”
I didn’t bother to hear his reply, because in the distance, I could hear barking, and I took off after it.