Flashback: Over the line can't define what I'm after

Drew and I stepped out into the heat of the morning. My head was spinning and all I could think was, somebody stop this thing, I’m going to puke! There was no way to stop it though, it was my life.
“What are you going to do?” Drew asked, breaking me of my thoughts.
“I don’t know Drew. I can’t have a baby right now, and I can’t have Jason’s baby.”
“So, you’re gonna…” He trailed off and stopped walking to look at me.
“I don’t know.” I snapped again. I was all about the freedom of choice. But right now, I really wished someone would make the choice for me. I didn’t feel like I could go through with an abortion, but I also didn’t feel like I could go through a pregnancy and birth, let alone raising a child.
“You know Jason’s never going to let you do that.” Drew said, sounding a little angry.
“I don’t need Jason’s permission to do anything Drew. It’s my body. When Jason has to carry a baby for nine months and then give birth to it, well. Then he can have a say in things. But right now, it’s all on me.” I didn’t want to do this right now, I didn’t want to fight with Drew. I felt my chest start to tighten, and my breathing became audible. I started to turn away from Drew, but he caught my arm and pulled me to him.
“Ella, I’m sorry. It’s OK. I’ll support you no matter what.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head and my forehead. “Just relax, OK? We’ll figure it out. I’ll be here for you.”
I bit my lip. “I just don’t know how to tell him, Drew. And it’s like, I have less than a week to decide what I’m going to do, and I don’t know. I don’t even know where to start.”
“Why can’t you do it with Jason?” He asked. He had let me go, but had kept a hold of my hand, walking me back towards the car.
“Because.” I sighed, running my hand through my hair. “You know Jason, Drew. And he’s so…”
“Stubborn. Set in his ways.” Drew finished me.
“Exactly. He thinks his way is right and he doesn’t deviate from it. And he gets so angry. There is never a discussion with him, it’s just arguing.”
“You can be the same way you know.” Drew said, looking me in the eye. “Just go. Be honest. Work it out. If he shuts you out, I’ll still be here. We’ll figure it out.”
I bit my bottom lip. “I could lose him for forever.”
“Ella, I hate to say this, but you may already have.”

Drew took care of me for the rest of the week, pampering me, and not talking about anything baby related unless I brought it up first. I was shocked with how much he knew, until I got on his computer one night and found that he had been researching it. It made me feel more relaxed, knowing the Drew met what he said. He had looked up all three options, and I really felt like that meant he would be behind me no matter what.
Of course, time went by too quickly, and before I knew it I was at the airport. Drew was barking orders about me, what to eat, what not to eat, reminders to take my pre-natals every day. We had both decided that until I made a final decision, I should treat my body as if I was keeping the baby.
I slept on the plane. I don’t know if it was just the pregnancy hormones finally kicking in, or the fact that I knew a pregnancy side effect was tiredness and my brain was tricking me into feeling it, but I couldn’t be in a moving object for more than five minutes without passing out. I woke up when we touched down, groggy and confused. It took me a second to get my bearings, to remember where I was, and when I did, I felt my stomach flop. I’d be seeing Jason in a matter of minutes.
I’d chosen slightly baggy clothes, because it felt like overnight, a small baby bump had popped up. Again, I couldn’t tell if it was all in my mind, or if it really existed, but I didn’t want anything to spill the news to Jason before I was ready. Then again, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready, and I worried that if he didn’t push me, I wouldn’t spill the beans at all.
Jason was supposed to meet me at the baggage claim, and I found myself dragging my feet to buy more time. I was however, surprised and a little panicked to discover when I got there, that there was no Jason in sight. My flight had been delayed, so he should have been here.
I was only there for two days, so I didn’t have any luggage to claim. Everything I brought fit into a carry-on. I still stood by the conveyor belt, tapping my foot , waiting impatiently, and trying not to freak out.
Still, I jumped about a mile when someone tapped me on the shoulder.
“Ella?” The deep voice questioned.
“Yes?” I hesitated, turning. He was tall, muscular, with tan skin and black hair. His eyes were brown, and if not for the military uniform he was in, he seriously looked like he had stepped out of an Abercrombie and Fitch ad.
“My name’s Jacob, Jacob Greene. Jason left you a message that I’d be picking you up?”
“Oh.” I said. My phone. Yeah, it would have been a good idea to turn on my phone and check my messages.
Jacob smiled and nodded towards my bag. “This all you brought?” He asked.
“Yes.” I said, absently. My mind was still on Jason. He had said he was going to pick me up. Why didn’t he come? “Where is Jas?” I asked, as Jacob leaned down and picked up my bag.
“He couldn’t get off his assignment in time. So, he asked me to come get you and bring you to the hotel.”
“Oh.” I answered again, biting my bottom lip. I didn’t know why my feelings were hurt, but they were. I hadn’t even wanted to see Jason, so this small delay should have been a god-send for me. But, it didn’t feel like that. It felt almost like a snub. I shook it off and followed Jacob, who was already going off toward the car rental counter.
I huffed to catch up.
“Sorry, I had a friend drop me off, Jason wanted a car for the weekend, so I told him we’d get one.”
“Oh.” I replied, yet again. I was a master of words today, it seemed.
Jacob cracked a smile.
“What?” I asked, clueless as to what was so funny.
“Blanco said you’d be talking my ear off. And yet you’ve hardly managed three words.”
“Sorry.” I blushed. “I’m just really tired.”
“S’ok. We have a little bit of a drive, so you should be able to nap in the car.” He answered, smirking again.
We got to our car and Jacob threw my bag in the back. I climbed in, and was asleep by the time we pulled out of the airport traffic.
I woke instantly when the car stopped. Still groggy, and suddenly very, very, very hungry.
“Where are we?” I asked, rubbing my eyes and smoothing my hair.
“At the hotel.” He answered. I looked up. We weren’t at a hotel, we were pulled up in front of a house.
“Jason got us a house?” I said, confused.
“No, we split it. We tend to come up here every weekend, party. Blow off some steam.”
“Oh…” I trailed off. Again, I had assumed we’d be alone. And again, while it should have been a relief, I felt stung, like Jason didn’t want to be around me alone either.
As we entered the cottage, I heard voices. Several voices. We rounded the corner, to where Jason sat at a table with three other guys. They were playing cards and smoking, and when I entered the room, Jason looked up and smiled.
“Ella! Good to see you.” He said standing. “Welcome to the party!”
“Oh. Hey guys.” I managed a weak wave. Names were announced, hands were shook, but honestly, I couldn’t remember anything. I was too caught off guard. Jason hadn’t mentioned anything about other people, and I would have thought he would have wanted some alone time.
“Ella, we’re staying in the first room on your right, go drop your stuff in there and come join.” Jason said, pulling an empty chair up next to him.
“Uh, actually Jay, I’m really hungry…”
“There’s food in the fridge, I can make you a sandwich.” He said, not looking at me, but instead at his cards.
“I kinda wanted to go out. Get some fresh air, you know…” I trailed off, being drowned out by basic boy noise. I slunk back into the room that was ours, set my stuff down, and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed Drew’s number and waited for him to pick up.
“Hey Ella.” He said. It was hard to hear him, there was a lot of background noise.
“Hey… Where are you?” I asked.
“I’m out, I uh, I’m… I’m on a date.” He said.
“Oh…” I don’t know why my heart sunk at that. I shook it off, it was good for Drew to date. I was just used to him being mine, was all. “Well, why’d you answer your phone, silly?”
“She went to the bathroom. Besides, I wanted to see how it was going.”
“It’s fine, fine. Good times.” I lied. I didn’t want him worried about me when he should be focusing on his date. There was nothing he could do anyway.
“Did you tell him?” He asked.
“Not yet, I just got here. But, we’re doing dinner. I’ll probably tell him then.”
“It’ll be OK Ella.” He said, mistaking the disappointment in my voice for worry.
“I know Drewbie. I’ll let you go. Call me later and tell me how your date went.” I said, hanging up. There was a slight knock at the door. “Come in.” I answered, expecting Jason.
Instead it was Jacob’s head that popped in. “If you want to go out and get some food, I’ll go with you. This place has a really great restaurant. They make their own sourdough.”
I didn’t want to go with Jacob, but I didn’t want to sit here either. And according to the list the doctor made me, I wasn’t supposed to eat lunch meat unless I micro-waved it first., and I didn’t really know how to explain that to Jason. That’s not the way I wanted to tell him I was pregnant. ‘hey Jay, can you nuke that bologna? Yeah, the doc says lunchmeat could have listeria, and even worse, packaged lunch meat have high levels of sodium nitrate, which isn’t good for the baby. What baby you say? Oh silly, I’m pregnant. It’s yours!’
“It’s OK if you’d rather stay with Jay.” He said, backing out the door.
“No, Jacob. I’m with you.” I grabbed my wallet and we left the cottage. I didn’t say anything to Jason. If he wanted to ignore me and blow me off, that’s fine. Two could play at that game.
Jacob had changed out of his uniform into what he called his “civies”. He looked good in dark jeans and a black tee shirt. I couldn’t help but think the guy was gorgeous, even with other things on my mind. He was muscular, a little short, but that was OK. He had an easy smile and that preppy look that I always seemed to crush on. I dated geeky guys, funny guys, but always crushed on the popular preppy ones. His eyes were soft and his hair was mussed, and being with him was easy, like it was with Drew. Silence wasn’t uncomfortable, which was good, because I wasn’t much of a conversationalist. We sat at the table and the restaurant, ordered drinks, and Jacob ordered some of their sourdough bread. He raved about it for a few seconds, talking about how it was homemade and delicious.
“You want me to leave you and the bread alone, Jacob?” I joked when they brought out the basket.
“No.” He laughed. “It’s just rare to get anything homemade around here.”
We munched on the bread in silence for a few.
“So you and Jason have known each other for awhile now, huh?”
“Since I was twelve.” I answered.
“You must miss him a lot when he’s gone.” Jacob picked up another piece and bit down.
“Yeah. Jason’s and my relationship has always been… Complicated, though. So…” I trailed off.
“He talks about you a lot. But he never mentioned how gorgeous you were.”
I blushed and ducked my head a little. “Yeah well, thanks.”
“When he mentioned trying to hook me up with you, I was hesitant. I mean for one, there’s the way he talks about you, which led me to believe you two had something, and two… I don’t really do blind dates.”
“Wait. Jason wanted to hook us up?”
“Yeah, he said you were coming down for the weekend and we should meet. He thought we’d hit it off.”
“Oh he did?” I asked, feeling more and more annoyed.
“Well, actually, Kayla was the one who brought it up. But. Jason agreed. And he’s the one who told me you were coming down here.”
“Kayla’s here?” I asked. My leg started to shake. I almost felt like one of those cartoon characters with the steam coming out of their ears.
“No.” Jacob paused as the waiter set down our food. He took a second to salt and arranged his food before he continued. “A couple weekends ago.”
“Are..” I stopped. I wasn’t sure how to word this so I didn’t look interested. I decided I’d just have to go for it. “Are they back together?”
Jacob looked up, studying my face. I tried my best to act like I didn’t care one way or the other. I wasn’t sure if it was working.
“No. Jason says they’re not. But. They way they were acting… I mean he pretty much holed up with her the whole weekend.”
“Oh, so he didn’t throw her a welcome party like he did me, huh?” I was unable to hide the sarcasm in my voice. “Sorry, Jacob. I’m not really hungry anymore.” I said, getting up from the table. I threw down some money, and stormed off, ignoring Jacob’s calls, in search for Jason. He had a lot of explaining to do.