There's nowhere to run I have no place to go

That night, after Seth and I had finished… Uh, welcoming him home, we laid in bed discussing the details the producers had given him. They would start practice after the first of the month. Each of them had an area of expertise when it came to dance, and they would spend two weeks learning a routine that they would then teach to the kids when they were touring around. They would also learn a couple of group dances that they would put on during the kids shows. They were going to tour twelve schools in the year, spending three weeks at every school, two weeks teaching the kids the routine, and one week performing. They then got a week off, which the show would pay to fly them home and back. They had free time on the weekends and could come home if they wanted, but those trips they would have to pay for themselves.

“You’ll be gone for almost a month at a time?” I asked, trying to keep my whining in check.

“I know.” He said, sighing and pulling me closer to him. “But, you know, it won’t be so bad. I’m hoping some of the shows will be close to home so I can jet back on the weekends. And, you could always try to come visit me too… And I’m sure it’s going to fly by.”

“Yeah, I’m so sure.” I said, sarcastically.

“Well… We’re not going until after the Holidays. So you have me until then.” He said, kissing the side of my head.

“Speaking of the Holidays….” I said, trailing off.

“Yeah?”

“My Mom wants me to invite you over for Thanksgiving. But, I didn’t know how hard it would be… The first Holiday since Chloe…”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Mom said she wasn’t sure if she was up to doing a huge thing.”

“Well. I told my Mom about that, and she kind of also wanted me to invite your parents and brother. I mean we usually tend to do a big thing at our house, everyone’s welcome type deal. I just didn’t know if it would be weird…”

“I’ll be there for sure. I’ll have to ask Mom and everyone though.”

With everything I had to do with work, November flew by, and before I knew it, it was Thanksgiving. I didn’t even have time to get nervous about the fact that my parents were meeting my boyfriend and his family for the first time. In fact, I barely had time to talk to my Mom and hammer down details. All I knew is I was bringing a side, Seth’s family was bringing a ham, and my Mom would do the rest.

In fact, I was so busy doing things for the agencies Thanksgiving that I didn’t even make my own side – a point my Mother picked up on quickly.

“Ella, you couldn’t even take it out of the store bought package to pretend like you made it?” She whined when I handed her the casserole container.

“Mom, I’ve made stuff all week. If you want to taste my homemade goodness, you’ll have to go to the agencies Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. Don’t you think the homeless and down on their luck deserve my lumpy mashed potato’s more than you guys do?” I asked, shrugging off my coat.


She rolled her eyes, but smiled at Seth. “So this is this young man I’ve been hearing so much about? When you call, which, you never do anymore.”

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. “Yeah Mom, this is Seth. Seth, this is my Mom.”

Seth went to stick out his hand, but my Mom pulled him into a hug.

“Your parents are still coming?” She asked, looking over his shoulder.

“They’re running late.” He answered. “They usually are. Sorry about that.”

“Oh no worries at all. I’m running a little behind myself, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t make all this food and have no one show!”

“Well, Matt and Drew are coming by too. You know how they can put it away.”

Mom nodded. “Your father is out in the living room, decorating. Why don’t you all go out and help him?”

My Mom seemed to like Seth, which was a good thing, out of my parents she was the most difficult. My father, on the other hand, was the most laid back guy in the world, and I wasn’t at all worried about how he’d react to Seth. Dad got along with everyone. I know a lot of girls worried about their Dad’s trying to intimidate their boyfriends, but I never did. One time, in high-school teen girl moment, I had thrown a fit and had told my Dad that meant he didn’t care about me. I was totally not ready for his reaction – he laughed! Then he answered me very calmly, and I’ll always remember what he said word for word: “oh honey, it’s just that I trust you. I know you’re too smart to end up with a dead beat.”

I was right – Seth shook Dad’s hand and within two minutes they were talking sports and stringing lights. And when his family came, they blended in perfectly, Seth’s Mom was cracking jokes with my Mom (making her laugh, which was a shocker!) And even Ian seemed comfortable talking to my Dad. I felt like we were one big family, and I could see us doing this many years down the road – my parent’s two lazy dogs slobbering all over everyone and tripping everyone up. The boys doing what boys do, being lazy and in everyone’s way while they lounge in front of the TV.

I was worried that the dynamic may get a little upset when Matt and Drew came over... Matt had opted out of going home this year, and Drew… Well Drew was still avoiding his Mother. His Father had offered to hold a small thing at his house, but he had gotten invited to his new girlfriend’s house, and Drew didn’t see the point in his Dad cooking a whole turkey for the two of them, and while he was comfortable with his Dad dating… Well, he wasn’t ready to meet her family yet. So to us he came, and from what I heard, his Mother had not taken it well. I was worried that they wouldn’t feel comfortable, since they weren’t technically family or something. But when they showed, my Dad broke out the wii and challenged everyone to some game where you ski on your butt. Needless to say, the boys were content.

I floated back and forth between the kitchen and the living room. Oddly enough, I was the one feeling out of place. Mom and Seth’s Mom were talking in the kitchen, and while they tried to include me in the conversation… Well, it was about cooking and other things I didn’t really care much about. The boys were absorbed in their game, and while they offered to give me a turn… Well, I felt like the pesky girlfriend crashing in on her boyfriend’s boy’s night out.

I sat in the side room, listening to the noise of the house, and it hit me how different it would be if Chloe was here. I looked down at my ring, knowing I could tell her all about that night… I hadn’t really told anyone about the promise ring. I didn’t really have any girl friends anymore… Toni was so busy with the twins, we didn’t really talk a whole lot anymore. I didn’t discuss my relationships with my Mom, and the guys… Well, not only would they not care, but Drew and I still didn’t really talk relationships.

I was trying not to bum myself out, but it was hard. I missed Chloe. I wondered what it would be like if Seth and I DID get married. Who would I do all the wedding stuff with? What would it be like without her? She would have been so excited for us.

I fought back tears, but gave a moment to feel sorry for myself. Then I shook it off. Everyone else was having such a good time, I didn’t want to be the Debbie Downer of the bunch.

My Mom called everyone to the table, and the spread was gorgeous. With everyone laughing and joking it was hard to feel so sad. I missed Chloe, I wish she was here, but I knew, in a way, she was.

“Alright, I know we’re in mixed company here, and I don’t know if you guys pray or not, but I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable… But we do have a tradition of giving thanks, and I would like to do so…” My Mom trailed off, looking uncomfortable for a second. “I just want to say… I know you recently lost your daughter, and… I don’t want to bring anymore sadness on you by bringing her up, but from what Ella told me about her… She seems like a wonderful person. And hearing about your loss, well. This year it just makes me especially grateful that my own daughter is healthy.”

There was a moment of silence as everyone absorbed what my Mom said. I had to swallow the lump that was forming again in my throat. My Mom was rarely open with her emotions, so it was surprising to hear her talk so openly about me… And nice. Seth’s Mom reached over and squeezed my hand.

“We’re grateful for Ella too. She’s been a rock in this whole situation, and we like to think we’ve gained a daughter.” She went to pat my hand and felt the ring. Looking down she gasped.

“Did we gain a daughter? Do you and Seth…. I mean is there something you wanted to announce today? Oh god, did I ruin the surprise?” She asked, looking from Seth to me, shocked.

“What?” My Mom asked, confused, and then she glanced at my hand and the ring on my finger. “Ella?” She asked.

“I… No, I mean, it’s not…” I didn’t know how to explain it. I looked around the table, and while everyone’s faces seemed happy, they were all definitely shocked. I looked at Seth, trying to send him a silent ‘help me explain this’ message.

“Well. I mean, we were going to wait to tell you…” Seth said.