I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you

I heard him call after me, and I shouldn’t have turned around, and I’m not sure why I did, but I did. Kylie had spun around, but was still leaning on the counter. Seth’s back with to her and a small smile played on her lips. For a second, my mind flashed to grabbing the knife next to her and slashing her face – that’s how livid I was.

“It’s not… She…” He ran a hand through his hair. “She got into a fight with her fiancé, I let her crash on the couch.”

“Even you know how weak that sounds Seth.” I snapped.

“It’s not weak, it’s the truth!” He yelled back.

“You know what the truth is? Yesterday afternoon you were in here bitching about how you hated her. You used the word hate Seth, and that’s a mighty strong word. And not even twenty four hours later she’s standing in the kitchen wearing your shirt and smiling at me like the cat who ate the canary. Everyone knows what’s she’s trying to do – why do you think they’re high tailing it out of here? Nobody wants her here, except for you apparently.”

“Oh, I was just supposed to kick her out last night?” He answered.

“YES Seth. Because you don’t talk about how you HATE someone and then welcome them into your home – especially when it’s at the expense of people you actually like.”

“You know, I am standing right here.” Kylie piped up.

“Oh I know.” I answered, glancing at her. “But I’m talking to him, not to you. I have nothing to say to you.”

“But you’re talking ABOUT me.” She said, rolling her eyes. “And if Seth doesn’t want me to leave, I don’t have too.”

“You’re right. Totally right. You don’t have too. But I don’t have to stay either, and I’m not going too. I’ve done this whole song and dance with exes before and all that jazz, and I’ve ALWAYS tried to be the bigger person. But not this time. Not with someone who clearly has ulterior motives. I told you Seth, it is clear to everyone else that she just wants you back. And it’s also clear just how uncomfortable she makes everyone. I’m going home. I told you this morning, if you want to get back with her, that’s all fine and good with me. Good luck to you, because from your past, it certainly sounds like you’ll need it.”

This time when he called me, I didn’t turn back around. I headed for my room and I started packing my things.

I was on edge, wondering when he was going to come up and try to talk to me, the longer it took, the more relieved I got, and the more angry. If he wasn’t upstairs with me, he was downstairs with her. I had meant what I said earlier – if he left me for her, I would know he got what he deserved, but I still had feelings for him, and I still would feel sad for myself.

Lost in my thoughts, my phone went off, and I jumped about a mile in the air. I glanced at it curiously – anyone who would call me was here, with the exception of Toni, my parents, and Jason. Glancing at the caller ID, I saw it was the latter, and had to smile despite myself. Did this boy have some sort of sixth sense that picked up on whenever I was fighting with my current boyfriend? Maybe the fates were trying to push us back together.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey, I didn’t expect you to answer, being on your fancy vacation.”

“Then why’d you call me?” I asked, moving into the bathroom to gather my things.
“Your voicemail and I have a thing going on. It likes it when I check in on a regular basis.”

“Oh really?” I said, smiling despite myself. “You want me to hang up and not answer so you can reach her?”

“No, no. I’ll just call back later and talk to her. What’s wrong? You sound tired. I thought a vacation was supposed to make you all well rested.”

“This one’s not going as planned. I’m actually heading home now.”

“Uh oh, what happened?”

“Ex-girlfriends. What is it with me and guys who have ex-girlfriends who are psychotic and pop up all over the place?”

“Well. I mean you do carry your own share of ex-boyfriend drama.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, I know, but the one thing I can say for you guys is none of you have ever stepped into a relationship to create drama. You may not have helped the drama that was there – but you never intentionally created it.”

“So what happened?”

“He ran into his ex at a grocery store. Came home all pissed off, ranting about how he hates her, but then she shows up and he just lets her stay. She was even here this morning when I woke up! And it’s clear she makes EVERYONE uncomfortable – Christi and Drew are leaving as well, and I get the feeling Chloe will probably tag along too. I just don’t understand it at all. If he hates her so much, why is he letting her stay? Especially at the risk of losing everyone else? I mean it’s not just me. She’s pissing off EVERYONE.”

Jason was quiet for a moment, and I thought I had lost him. But then he spoke, so quietly I had to strain to hear him.

“Sometimes you can realize that it’s not going to work out with someone, but it doesn’t mean you stop having feelings for them. It’s hard to let go sometimes.”

I wondered if he was talking about us, but I didn’t really have the guts to ask. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. There was always a part of me that wondered if Jason and I would get back together, and I knew hearing him admit that we weren’t right for each other would kill that off. I wasn’t sure I wanted it dead.
I realized though that maybe that’s how Seth was feeling. And while I still didn’t like it – nobody liked hearing that their current boyfriend had feelings for an ex – I could also understand it. I mean hadn’t I just admitted to myself that I still held out a little bit of hope that Jason and I would get back together? If Seth knew that, wouldn’t he be upset by it?

But, in my defense, I didn’t let him know that. When Jason was around, which was very rarely, I didn’t hang all over him and flirt with him, and wear skimpy clothing. I wasn’t naïve enough to think that you were only capable of having feelings for one person. I believed you could fall in love many times, and when you fall in love, you never fall fully out of it again. I was more upset by the fact that Seth was allowing Kylie to be so disrespectful to me, our relationship, our vacation, and our friends.

“You still there?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, just thinking about some things…” I trailed off.

“Well. I better let you go. Just wanted to call and say hi.”

“Oh. Hi.”

“Hi.” He said, laughing. “Just, talk to him before you throw in the towel, OK? You really seemed to like him, and he did seem like a good guy. I mean if you can’t make it work, you can’t, but you do have a tendency of walking away rather than trying to work things out, El.”

“Alright.” I agreed.

Just as we hung up, Seth entered the room.

“Look Ella…” He glanced at the bed. “You’re really leaving?”

“Yeah. I have things to do at home, and I’m not having any fun here. There’s no point in staying and making myself miserable.”

“Ella…” Seth started.

“No. Don’t. You’re not going to convince me to stay. Look, I understand where you’re coming from. I have been in the position before where I cared for someone who I shouldn’t, and I knew I shouldn’t, even when I had someone else around that I cared just as much for. It’s a tricky spot. But you’re allowing her to be so disrespectful to me, to us, and to our friends, and because you’re allowing her to do so and not saying anything to her about it… Well, now YOU’RE being disrespectful. I get it, you’re the nice guy, you like to be nice to everyone, you like everyone to get along. Sometimes it doesn’t happen. Sometimes you have to let people go.”

“Really? I mean I’m sorry Ella, but shouldn’t you take your own advice?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“Letting people go? Who were you on the phone with just now? Jason. Your ex who cheated on his wife with you!”

“How did you know I was on the phone with Jason?” I asked, getting angry.

“I was outside and…”

“And you were listening. Oh, I really can’t believe you. Didn’t you tell me you’d trust me until I gave you a reason not too? And when have I EVER given you a reason not too? You can’t compare the Jason and Kylie situation, at all Seth, and you KNOW it. When Jason was around, he didn’t try to hang all over me and flirt with me. When Jason was around I didn’t hang over a counter wearing nothing but a tee shirt showing my ass off to the world. Jason being around didn’t piss off everyone and their Momma, and if it had, I most certainly wouldn’t ignore it. You keep trying to turn this shit back around on me Seth. Grow up, be a man, and own up to it – you fucked up. If you want to be with Kylie, then be with her. But if you want to be with me, you need to kick her to the curb, and admit that it’s NOT because she’s your ex girlfriend, but because she is a girl who is after you and doesn’t care who she has to walk on to get to you.”

I looked at him, so angry I could spit, wondering if I even wanted him back. I did love him, but really was any guy worth this? He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it when we heard a loud thump. A second later, Matt ran into the room.

“You gotta come quick. It’s Chloe.”