I'll stand by you

I had seen Chloe sick – and even been there a few times when we thought we were going to lose her, but I had never been there at the moment it started. Seth bolted into her room, and I followed quickly on his heels, but stopped dead in my tracks when I got to her door. I always thought I’d be good in an emergency, and had proven it many times when the kids had an accident. But seeing Chloe laying lifeless on the floor… It took everything I had not to freak out. Because I was trying so hard not to be a spaz, I remained frozen.

My brain was working though, and screaming at me all the things I SHOULD be doing – but I just couldn’t move. Chloe looked dead, but I didn’t know for sure that she was. If I moved and touched her and found no pulse, my fears would be confirmed. If I just stood here, as dumb and in the way as I was, frozen, my brain screaming at me.

Seth, however, was already in action. I didn’t know how he did it. Sure, he had been in this situation multiple times before, but did that make it any easier? I mean, wouldn’t it make it even scarier, knowing you had been lucky so many times before? Would this be the time Chloe’s luck and health ran out?

I jumped a mile in the air when I heard Seth call my name.

“Ella, it’s alright, OK? She just passed out. Go get my cell phone and call my Mom, let her know we’re taking Chloe to the hospital and I’ll call her as soon as I know what’s going on. Matt, get one of her pill bottles and call the doctor on it. I’m taking her into the hospital.”

“What about an ambulance?” Matt said, moving for his phone.

“I can get her there a lot faster, just call her doctor please and let him know we’re going to Mercy General, OK? And Ella – go. I need you to do this.”

I unfroze long enough to nod and feel guilty. Here I was freaking out when Seth needed me, and he was calm as a cucumber. I felt even worse when Christi walked in, and seeing the scene, sprung into action.

“I’ll grab her medication list and be right behind you.” She said, moving towards Chloe’s bag.

I shook my head quickly, rather than feel sorry for myself or be jealous of other people, I needed to do what Seth asked me to do. I needed to be there for Chloe any way that I could be, so I walked into Seth and my room and grabbed his cell phone. I dialed the number before I had a chance to think about how I was calling Chloe’s mom that she was sick but none of us knew what was going on. I was about to hang up and rehearse what I was going to say when her voice clicked on.

“Hey Seth, how’s it going down there?”

“It’s Ella…” I was startled at just how shaky my own voice sounded.

“Oh no. What’s wrong? It’s Chloe isn’t it…”

“I… I don’t know what happened. Seth and I were talking and then Matt came in and when we saw her she was on the floor. Seth left, to take her to the hospital, he said he’d call you as soon as he found out anything…”

“I knew I shouldn’t have let her go, she wasn’t feeling good… I just…” She trailed off, then took a deep breath. “Thank you for calling sweetie. Please tell Seth that I’m going to call his Daddy and we’re going to head on down. If he hears anything, we’ll have our cell phones.”

I was going to protest her coming down, and I almost told her that it wasn’t that big of a deal, when I realized… It’s not like Chloe fell and broke her arm. She passed out. We don’t know WHY she passed out. In reality, it could be a very big deal, and if it were my daughter…

“I’ll let him know. I’m heading over to the hospital now, so he’ll have his cell phone back if you need him.”

“Thanks for calling hon.” She said, her voice soft. “And hang in there, Chloe’s a fighter, I’m sure she’ll be OK.”

We got off the phone, and I realized how silent it was – creepily so. I wondered if I was the only one left in the house or not. Then, I also realized that Chloe’s Mom had comforted me, and again felt like an ass for not doing more.

However, I also realized again, that feeling inadequate wasn’t going to help anyone else at this moment, so I quickly got up and reached for my bag that I had been packing. I shook out all my clothes, and filled it with a few things for Seth and I. I assumed Chloe would have to stay at least overnight at the hospital, and Seth would want to stay with her, so I wanted him to have some of his stuff to try to be comfortable. I also knew as long as Seth was there, I would be there. I may be angry at him, but I would be there for him – to run and get food he wouldn’t eat, to nag him to get some sleep, and just be his punching bag.

I also ran into Chloe’s room and to grab a few random things – I’m not sure she’d want or need them, but I knew things like her head scarf and her worn blanket brought her comfort. I was expecting the room to be empty, and was a little surprised to see Matt sitting on her bed, head in his hands.

“You OK?” I asked, dropping the bag and sitting next to him.

“Did you see her? She looked dead. I thought…”

“I know.” I said, cutting him off. “I thought so too, but she’s not so now we need
to get a move on, OK?”

“I don’t know what to do, Ella. I mean I called her doctor like Seth asked, but I just don’t know what else to do.” He shoulders were slack, and I knew he felt hopeless. “I really like her. And I thought I could handle her being sick, but I just didn’t realize…”

“I know.” I repeated, trying to keep my voice level and calm. “But you don’t have to make any decisions about any future relationships right now. Besides, just because you like her doesn’t mean she likes your dumbass.” I said, bumping his shoulder lightly with mine. “I feel pretty helpless too, but I know I need to be there – and so do you. Chloe keeps on fighting for us, you know. We should be there to cheer her on in her fight. I know it’s not a whole lot, and yeah it does make you feel pretty helpless, but I for one plan on doing whatever I can do – even if it’s not much.”

Matt nodded. “You’re right. I just was wrapped up in my own head for a minute. I’ll go get the car and drive you to the hospital, OK?”

“Alright.” I answered. “I’m just going to grab a few things of Chloe’s and I’ll be down.”

As confident as I may have sounded with Matt, being in Chloe’s room alone spooked me a little. To be totally morbid, at this moment, she could be gone, and I could be standing in a dead girls room. Insensitive of me to think this way, yes, but I couldn’t help it when my mind went in that direction. I quickly grabbed some things and shoved them in the bag, running out of the room and down the stairs.

And smack dab into Kylie.

With everything going on, I had totally forgotten about her, and I assumed everyone else did as well.

“Did they tell you what was going on?” I asked, out of breath. I wasn’t sure why I even bothered, but I thought Kylie would want to know.

“I figured it out. Chloe always pulls this shit when I’m around. She hates for anyone else to have the attention. I’ll just wait here for them to come back.”

I was stunned, and raised my hand to smack her, but luckily was able to stop myself before I connected.

“You need to get out.” I said instead.

“This isn’t your…”

“You need to get out right now, or I will call the police and tell them I caught you trying to break in, and before you say that story won’t fly, think again, because I have another witness willing to back me up out in the car right now – and if you think he won’t, he will after I tell him what you just said to me. You just crossed a big line missy, and if I thought you were worth it, I’d put you out of this house right now, and trust me, it wouldn’t be fun for you. But I have other places to be – important places, with people who are far more important than you. Get the fuck out right now, and don’t you dare come back.”

We stood toe to toe for a moment, and I thought maybe I’d have to make good on my threat. But suddenly, without warning, Kylie turned and walked out the door. I was stunned in place for a moment, not thinking it would be that easy, but then quickly followed her out, watching her peel off in her car.