Oh simple thing where have you gone I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

Matt and I went back to my house that night, and I let him sleep in my bed. I know, probably not the best thing for my new independent attitude, but life was going to hell anyway, I might as well have a warm body next to me while it did. The odd thing was, he didn’t even attempt to fool around with me. Just slipped in behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and we both passed out.

I woke up the next morning to the alarm blaring and groaned.

“Is it totally horrible of me to say I just want to blow off the rest of the week?” I asked, throwing an arm over my eyes.
“Yes.” Matt answered, stretching his shirt rode up and I could see his abs.
“I could think of better things I could do with my time.” I said, walking my fingers up his stomach to his chest.
“You don’t mean that.” He said, taking my hand and holding it.

That gesture felt way too personal for me, so I untangled it and sat up, dangling my legs over the edge of the bed.

“I just feel like I’m boarding a sinking ship, is all.”
“I think you just need a different perspective on things. There’s a lot more to drink when the glass is half full.”
“Those thoughts are too deep for this early in the morning, Mr. Matt.” I said, ignoring him and heading to the shower.

I stayed into the shower until the water ran cold, which wasn’t all that long since Matt was probably using up his share of hot water in the bathroom downstairs. I hated the fact that I was dragging my feet, especially when work was something I used to feel so passionate for. I had told Matt that it was because the business was in danger of ending, but I wondered if it was really that. If the agency wasn’t failing, would I still be in love with it? Or was it just time for me to move on?

Work was a bunch of endless meetings after meeting. Which is the part I hated MOST about my job. Meeting felt so useless, it was just talk. I’d rather be doing. We brainstormed ideas on how to raise ideas, we brainstormed ways to cut costs, we brainstormed what a stay at the agency camp would look like. My brain felt like it had just been hit by a storm when I was done. I was counting down the days until it was Friday.

I walked out to the parking lot to find Matt in the driver’s seat.
“What are you doing?” I asked, confused.
“Get in. I know just what you need.” Was his mysterious reply.

“Really?” I asked, as we pulled up in front of his gym. “This is what I need? Way to kick a girl when she’s down.”
“I’m not saying you NEED the exercise for your body. But it will help with your mind. Endorphins and all.”
“I didn’t bring work out clothes.”
“I packed some for you in the backseat.”
“Matt, I’m about to lose my job. I shouldn’t sign up for an expensive gym membership.”
“Well, one, you don’t know you’re losing your job, and two, you can come in on my guest pass until you decide if you like it or not.”
“I…”
“Get out. Get in there. Now.” He said, exiting the car.

We signed in, and I changed, and Matt led me upstairs. I mounted an elliptical machine and expected Matt to climb onto the one next to me, but instead he turned to walk away.

“Where are you going?” I asked.
“To work out?” He asked. “I’m going to lift.”
“Maaaaatt.” I whined. “Don’t leave me.”
“It’ll be fine. Work out. Enjoy it.” He said as he walked away.
I sighed. Loudly. It caught the attention of the girl on the machine next to me.

“I feel you.” She said in a slightly out of breath and twangy tone. “I hate working out alone too.”
“I didn’t even want to come.” I said, aware that I sounded like a spoiled brat.
“Well you certainly don’t need to be here! Look at you. Eat a sandwich.” She said. “Oh man, I meant that as a joke, sometimes I need a filter for my mouth, I hope you’re not offended.”
I laughed. “Not at all. I’m supposed to be here for the endorphins or something.”
“You don’t need endorphins if you have prozac.” She said. “Oh, there goes my mouth again!”
“It’s OK. Really. You’re funny. You’re not from here, are you?” I asked.
“Nope. Is it the accent, or the rudeness? I swear my Momma raised me better than that.”
“It’s the accent. People are rude here, too. Where ya from?”
“Memphis, Tennessee. I came up here for my boyfriend. Who works all the time. So I had to find something to do to fill my time… I thought maybe I could lose some of this.” She said, gesturing to her body.

She was chunky, but it looked right on her, if that made any sense. Some people had an extra ten pounds and it looked like a hundred. She had curly brownish red hair piled on top of her heart shaped face, big brown eyes, and a wide friendly smile.

“Is that your boyfriend?” She asked, nodding towards Matt. “He’s cute.”
“Nope. Just a friend and co-worker.”
“Well, he’s still cute. What do you do? If I’m talking too much, you just tell me to zip it.”
“No, it’s OK.” I said smiling. She was so bubbly it was cute. “I’m a social worker at a Settlement House. I work with inner city kids. How about you?”
“I just work at a stupid sandwich shop. Where I eat my embarrassment away. Obviously.” She said, smirking. “But I’m taking classes for insurance stuff. Totally a snooze-fest, but it makes good money, and there’s tons of opportunities here.”

Brook talked my ear off the rest of our workout, and then talked even more in the showers downstairs (we were separated by a shower curtain, so it wasn’t totally weird.) Normally I would get annoyed by such endless chatter… Especially after a day of what felt like nothing but endless chatter. But, Brook was different. She was bubbly, and funny, and… Refreshing.

Talking to her also made me realize how much I missed having friends. The guys had always been my friends, and they were gone. I had Toni, but she was so busy with her own life, and even when we were able to hang out… I felt like we had zero in common. I loved being around her, and her family, but I still felt like I couldn’t relate to her, or that she could relate. I found myself getting a little sad as I was getting dressed. It was nice to have company in the female form.

“OK, this might sound really weird, and you can say no if you want too… But would you want to hang out sometime? I don’t really know anyone here…. Oh listen to me, I sound like a little lost puppy. Seriously, feel free to say no, but even if you just wanted a work out buddy…”

“Yeah. That’d be nice. Give me your number and I’ll text you. Maybe show you around sometime?”

When I met Matt out front, I gave him a hug.
“What was that for?” He asked.
“I dunno. Must be the endorphins.”