Storm clouds all have gone away, can we stop this thing from sinking?

I decided on the drive home from work, when Cumulus fell asleep in my lap, that I would keep one of the puppies. I called Nancy on my cell phone and left her a message that I would keep last puppy standing. I know she wanted me to stay dog free so I would have the space to foster, but I figured having one dog, even a giant breed, would still leave room for others.

I pulled into the driveway and paused to check my messages. I was a little surprised to hear the computerized voice read a number I’ve never heard before. I waited for the human voice to come on and tell me who it was.
“Hi, Ella. It’s Matt, I met you at the agency? Sorry for calling… My boss gave me your number, which he got from your boss. Adriana can no longer come down for the internship, she’s having some family issues. We’ve found someone, another male actually, but he needs to live with an actual family. It’s… Religious things, he can’t live with an unmarried female. So, I was wondering if you had any problems with putting me up? Sorry about the sudden change, it’s thrown us all for a loop. I’ll talk to you soon, I hope.”
I smiled, at the whole “talk to you soon, I hope” line. I didn’t mind staying with a guy, but it did put a damper on any chances of us getting together. I already thought it was a bad idea to date someone I had to work with, but to date someone I was also living with?
“Woah, someone’s putting the cart before the bull, eh Cumulus?” I sat to the beast who has passed out in the passengers seat. I grabbed him with one arm, my bag in the other, and slammed the door with my hip. I made myself let the dogs out, fix dinner, and eat it before I called Matt back. I didn’t know what I was so excited about, but I knew I wanted to talk to him.
I hit the talk button over his missed called. My stomach jumbled, I was nervous.
“Hello?” He answered.
“Hey, Matt? It’s Ella. You called earlier?”
“Oh yeah.” He paused, and call me crazy but I heard a smile in his voice. “How are you?”
“Good, just got home from work not too long ago, how are you?”
“I’m good, just got in myself, had to spend some time with the girlfriend before I leave.”
“Oh.” Ohhhh girlfriend, of course, I should have known it. “Well, of course, I’d be bummed too if my boyfriend was leaving for months and didn’t spend time with me.”
“You have a boyfriend?” Again, was I crazy, or did he sound disappointed?
“No.” I said a little too quickly. “No boyfriend, just me and the kids.” Oh god, did I really just refer to the dogs as kids?
“Kids?” Now he didn’t sound disappointed at all, just flat out confused.
“Sorry, it was a joke. I meant the dogs. I have four dogs right now, puppies actually. You’re not allergic, or anything, are you?” I almost hoped he was, so I had a reason not to agree to him staying with me.
“Oh.” He laughed. “I thought you were a little young for kids. No, I’m not allergic. I love dogs.”
A little young for kids? I opened my mouth, to tell him that I had almost been a mother. But, I realized that was too much information. The majority of people at work didn’t know, mainly just my boss, since he gave me the first couple weeks off to recover from everything.
“Oh, good. I don’t have a problem with you staying with me. I live a little further out then anyone else, and my place is probably a little smaller, but as long as you don’t mind a futon, you’re welcome.” I paused. “Your girlfriend can even visit, if she wants.”
“Oh. Yeah. Well, good. That takes some stress off. We’re all really looking forward to working with you guys, and when Adriana had to take off, it was a scramble.”
“Well, we always stress. But, it always seems to work out in the end. So, see you Monday?”
“Yeah, um, if it’s OK with you, can I come up a little early? To, you know, settle in?”
“Um, sure.”
“Probably Sunday, maybe Saturday. I’m just a little anxious. I know it sounds weird, but I’m really nervous, and it would make me feel a lot better to know I’m all settled in, and have everything I need before I start.”
“Oh, no. I get it. That’s fine. Just call me when you’re headed out.”
“OK, thanks, Ella.”
“You’re welcome Matt. Bye.” I said, hanging up the phone. I was a tad disappointed, but it was all for the best, I suppose.

I took the dogs back outside and sat up on the picnic table. I was trying to enjoy the last days of summer, before winter hit. I could feel a slight bite in the air, and it made me lonely. A lot of people thought summer was the best time for relationships. I thought it was the best time for flings and friends. Fall, in my opinion, was the best time to start a relationship. There were so many great relationship ideas, cuddling by a bonfire, sharing a cup of coco and a blanket at a football game. And then winter, winter was the best time to BE in a relationship. It was the perfect time to introduce people to families, and sharing holiday traditions. Summer is fun, even if you’re alone. Fall and winter just get downright lonely.
I shrugged it off, and glanced over at my cell phone. Drew had been trying to call once a day, and I had been ignoring his calls. He didn’t try more than once, never left a voicemail, just call, let it ring, and then hang up. It was typical Drew, not pressuring, but letting me know he was there when I was ready.
And in a way, I hated that. I hated that he was so understanding, so patient, so persistent. I was angry, and I felt like I had the right to be angry. And Drew calling, and me ignoring him just made me feel guilty. Sure, Drew had never really done anything like this before (we had never honestly really fought, actually.) But, because he had never done anything like this before, I think it just made me feel more betrayed. He knew how much I cared about Jason, so what right did he have to decide that Jason was no good for me and send him away?
Especially at that time, I felt like my life was so out of hand, like all these things were just happening to me, and I had no choice but to just roll with the punches. And Drew took the one thing that I could control, and made the choice for me.
As if summoned by my thoughts, my phone rang, and it was Drew. I picked up my phone and ran my finger lightly over the talk button. I considered it for a moment, and then hit ignore instead.
Drew couldn’t fix this, he couldn’t undo it, he couldn’t change it. All he could do was apologize, which he had already done. And all I could do was forgive him. I wasn’t ready to do that yet. I sighed, and called the dogs. I was tired, and already ready to call it a night.

I settled the puppies into the kitchen for the night. It was a lot easier to clean up accidents. I grabbed a snack, dodged playful teeth, and said goodnight to puppy whines as I went into the bedroom. I propped my laptop on my lap, preparing to start some worth and return some emails. Kayla and I had been discussing things via email, but I had requested that she leave Jason out of it. It turned out (or at least Kayla told me, and I believed it over Jason’s story.) That Jason has pushed the idea of babies. And while Kayla, in fact, did want one, she felt like Jason would be the one who would be disappointed should I choose to back out. She wanted to make sure that I knew all the facts and had agreed before she told him. It sounded like a good plan to me.
You would think talking to Kayla would be hard. It wasn’t. Kayla and I could have been great friends, had Jason not been in-between us. It was easy for me to talk to her, I think, because I didn’t blame Kayla for anything. She didn’t make Jason choose her over me, that was his choice. He was the one to blame. I did, sometimes, wonder what she had that I didn’t have, but for the most part I could pretend like she was just another girl. I checked my inbox to see if I had anything from her. I did, but I was more surprised to see that I had an email from Greg, the magician. It hadn’t been two weeks yet, and I wasn’t expecting to hear from him.

From: GreatDangers@gmail.com

Ella-
I hope you don’t mind me emailing you out of the blue here. It’s just so boring here! The show is great, and tons of fun, but once I get done there’s nothing to do! I hung at the bar for a few nights, but, the bar scene gets old quick. So, I thought maybe you could entertain me. We could get a whole jump start the whole getting to know you thing?

I smiled while reading it. I wasn’t really sure about Greg, he was funny, which I liked, but I was also wary of. Funny guys sometimes had a hard time being serious, or had to use joking as a coping mechanism. I loved a sense of humor, but it was important that the person knew how and when to use it. Still, I decided that it couldn’t hurt anything, and getting to know him before we went out on a date might just save me from a horror of a first date.

To: GreatDangers@gmail.com

Greg,
Sounds good, I was just headed for a big night of paperwork! Super fun. Not so much. So how should we start this getting to know you process? Should I just ask you questions? If so… Why magic? When did you get into it? How did you learn? Who are your heroes? Do you tour a lot?

I was a little anxious, and wasn’t sure if I should just stick around waiting for a response or if this was going to be a correspondence over the next few days.
I checked the email from Kayla, a link to a couple surrogacy forums, so I could talk to people who had been through it and see what it was like, as well as some legal stuff, which I skipped. I couldn’t read dry stuff like that, I planned to talk to a friend, who was a lawyer, to see what they could explain to me, in laymen’s terms. I responded to her, telling her I’d check things out, and asked a few questions about finances.
By the time I clicked send, I had a new email from Greg. I snuggled down and clicked to read.