I was going to do a regular post this Whatever Wednesday, but I am totally lacking the motivation to do so. It's getting harder to write for a couple of reasons: My hubby is job hunting, and is usually on the computer, tweaking his resume, looking for jobs, responding to jobs, filling out applications, ect. Obviously, that's more important than me writing the blog, but it get's tricky, because usually I like to write when my son isn't around to distract me, which is also when hubby likes to do things. I miss my laptop.
Then, there's the pregnancy brain. I'm finding all my symptoms of pregnancy are hitting me a lot earlier than they ever did with my son. I'm already getting the weird dreams, already exhausted, and already so freaking scatter brained! I seriously went in to the kitchen last night to get something my husband asked me to grab him, and by the time I got in there I had forgotten what he wanted.
To top it all off, I FINALLY got through to the OBGYN, and FINALLY made an appointment. It's not till May 11th, which is a little further down the road than I would like, but I've decided I need to stop freaking out over every little twinge my body has and just go with it. I kinda liked that it was so far out there, because they speculated that I might be earlier in the pregnancy than they thought, and that's why they couldn't see anything on ultrasound at the ER. But, even if I'm earlier than thought, at that appointment they should see SOMETHING. If they don't, I'll know the pregnancy is over, and while that will suck, at least I'll know.
Well. I made the appointment and looked at my discharge papers from the hospital. They wanted me in to see the OB within 3-5 days. Obviously, May 11th is NOT within 3-5 days. Crap. So I called the OB clinic back to see what they wanted me to do.
Of course, they ordered ANOTHER blood test. If it rises, again, I can wait till the 11th, if it doesn't... Well.
So of course, now I am BACK on the waiting train. Luckily, this time, I only have to wait till tomorrow to get blood drawn, but I dunno if I'll wait for the results this time to get them the same day, I may just wait till Friday. It may sound horrible, but I'm just so over all these tests. I mean it's one thing if they were testing to PREVENT something, or TREAT something, but this is just to see if the baby is going to make it. And they can't really do anything this early to try to prevent a miscarriage, so it's kinda like... All this stress, all this worry... It's not worth it. If I'm going to lose the baby, I'm going to lose it, and it doesn't matter how many tests they give me. Don't get me wrong, I want this baby, and if they told me that I could have a happy and healthy baby if I cut off one of my toes, I would do it. I would do just about anything. But that's not what they're saying.
I just really hope we catch a break soon. It's hard to be optimistic when everything is looking gloomy.
BUT, on a lighter note... Well. I dunno, lol. I got nothing.
Breaking the Surface
9 years ago
3 comments:
Everything will be fine, you'll see. Seriously I think finding out your pregnant so early is a bad thing. If you didn't know yet your body would be going through all this without you even knowing. So yes the best thing is to not worry. Like you said there'd be nothing they can do anyway. What will be will be. But I'm sure it'll be fine. And one day you can tell this little one, all the stress you went through worrying if he/she was going to make it. And laugh about it.
I know this is a little belated but congrats on your pregnancy! :) I had a feeling you were pregnant back when you said you felt sick and nauseous....like a month ago I think? It's good you have decided you're not going to worry about every little thing. Less stress for you and the little embryo.. :)
-Sheena
Aww girl, hang in there,I hope those levels will start going up and that stress will be relieved. It seems like you have so much other things going on and pregnancy should be a happy time!
Post a Comment