FB: You can't really place blame cuz blame is much too messy. Some was bound to get on you while you were trying to put it on me

“Neither one of you are being fair to me right now. You both say you care about me, and if that was the case, you would realize how much the other person means to me and wouldn’t be asking me to choose.”

“I’m not the one asking you to pick Jacob. All I want is for you to realize that Michelle is a grown woman, and she’s in charge of how she acts, her past isn’t to blame.” I spoke calmly. Inside, I was freaking out. I was angry at Jacob, sure. And it may have seemed like I was ready to walk away. But, I didn’t really want to lose him. I had a nagging feeling that he would end up picking Michelle, and I’d be left behind.

Michelle didn’t say anything, just stood in the doorway, her arms crossed tight over her chest, starring Jacob down. I felt rage slowly build up in my chest, and all I wanted to do was walk over to her and punch her, but I didn’t think that would help my cause at all.

“I need some time to think.” Jacob said, heading towards the door. Michelle didn’t move out of his way.

“No. I’ve waited long enough for you to come around and I’m not going to wait any longer. What’s it gonna be, Jacob? Her or me?”

Jacob stood in front of her for a moment. His jaw was clenched, I knew he was thinking. Finally, he spoke so low that I couldn’t be sure if I heard him right.
“Michelle, if you make me choose, you aren’t going to like the outcome.”

“Sounds to me like you’ve already chosen.” Michelle spit back. “Say it.” She commanded.

“I’ve already said it. Anyone who really cared about me wouldn’t ask me to choose. Ella’s not telling me to drop you. Why are you telling me to drop her?”

“Did you not hear what she said to me last night?” Michelle’s voice was rising in pitch. I knew she was upset, and for a second felt bad for her.

“You and I both know that you weren’t entirely innocent in all that.”

“Whatever Jacob. I don’t have all day, who’s it going to be? Her or me?”

“It’s her. If you’re making me pick, then I have to pick Ella.”

The room was totally silent for a moment. Nobody spoke, nobody moved, I don’t even think anyone breathed or blinked. Then Michelle shot me the meanest look I have ever seen come out of anyone’s eyes, turned on her heel, and stormed out. Both Jacob and I winced at the sound of the slamming door. With a squeal of tires, she was gone.

“Jake…” I said, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry.”

He turned to look at me, as if he forgot I was even there.

“Don’t be Ella. You didn’t make me pick, she did. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s hers. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m just so used to protecting Michelle that I just assume that everyone is really out to get her. I should have known something else was going on.”

“Do you… Do you still want me to go back home with you?” I asked. Even though Jacob had picked me, I couldn’t be sure we were still together. Regardless of why I said what I said, I did freak out on Michelle, and was harsher than I needed to be. Who knew if that turned him off of me or not?

A slow smile crossed Jacob’s face. “Of course. I need to spend some time with my girlfriend.”

I felt his smile spread to my own face as I crossed the room to give him a tight hug.
“I care about you a lot, Ella. I want this to work.” He said softly.

“Me too.” I answered.

We went downstairs, where I was greeted awkwardly by Toni. I was still angry with her for meddling, and I had the feeling she was probably upset at me for handling things the way I did. While Jason and Nick acted happy to see me, Toni mainly ignored me, and so did Drew. I wanted to ask Drew if he was upset that Michelle was gone, and if they had made any plans to hang out again, but I knew it would just come out sounding like I was snooping. And, I didn’t know if I really even wanted to know. If he WAS hanging out with Michelle again, did that mean that they were going to start a relationship? If so, I don’t think I could hold my tongue and keep my opinion on that matter to myself, which would in turn start another fight, and really, I was tapped out for the day.

I also noticed Jason watching Jacob and I, frowning when I sat on Jacob’s lap, or rolling his eyes when Jacob would kiss me. I wondered if he missed Kayla, and wanted to suggest that he call her and see if she wanted to come over and hang out with us. But, I wasn’t sure if that would set him off or not, and again, I wasn’t looking for any more fights today.

Eventually Jacob and I decided to head back to the hotel, where we met up with his Mom to have dinner. She didn’t ask about Michelle, and I wondered if she had bumped into her at the hotel or just assumed Michelle was elsewhere. Then that led me to wondering if Michelle was still at the hotel, which made me so nervous that I couldn’t really concentrate. I got the feeling that Michelle was a little nuts, and I didn’t know her well enough to know what kind of stunt she would pull while she was angry. While eating dinner, Jacob excused himself to go to the bathroom. I was so busy looking around for Michelle that I didn’t hear Sandy speak.

“I’m sorry, what’d you say?” I asked, forcing my eyes to look at Sandy.

“I said, Michelle left. So don’t worry.”

My heart sank a little. So Sandy did know what had happened.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked.

“No. I’m a little disappointed.” She said, which stung. “But, I think Michelle needed that. Jacob told me what you said, about everyone offering up her past as an excuse for her present behavior, and you’re right. We do. And you’re also right when you say it’s not OK. It isn’t. Michelle, however, is the reason Michelle isn’t here right now. She’s the one who offered up the ultimatum, and so she only has herself to blame for where she’s at right now. She’s used Jacob as a crutch for so long, maybe some space will do her some good. I still believe she’ll be back, with her tail between her legs. I just hope she’s done some growing in the meantime.”

I dropped the conversation when Jacob came back to the table. I knew even if he didn’t blame me for Michelle’s leaving, it still had to be a sore spot for him. I knew Jason could be a huge jerk, but if he were to ever drop out of my life for good, I would still miss him. We finished up dinner, talking about what we were going to do when we got back to Jacob’s home town. Sandy promised to show me baby pictures, and when Jacob groaned she got an evil smile on her face, and started telling embarrassing stories. I hadn’t laughed that hard in so long.

“Hey guys, I think the waiter’s giving us the stink eye. I think he wants this table.” Jacob said.

I looked around and noticed that the hotel restaurant WAS pretty full.

“Wanna move this party to the bar?” I asked. I didn’t want to get drunk, but I also wasn’t ready for the night to be over. I liked talking to Sandy, and I figured we could nurse a couple of drinks while she told some more stories.

“Oh.” She said, looking a little embarrassed. “I’m a recovering alcoholic. Being in a bar isn’t really comfortable for me.” She said.

“Oh…” I replied.

I was quiet for a moment, a little embarrassed by my mistake. Jake and his Mom made plans for a night swim. I agreed to grab a book and sit down by the pool with them. Heading up to the room from the restaurant, we passed the bar, and I remembered. If Sandy didn’t drink, and being in a bar was uncomfortable, what was she doing in the bar, alone, last night?