Lay down a list of what is wrong

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” I answered, hating the fact that I was stuck on the floor at his feet like some sort of dog.

“Well, maybe then I need to talk. And you need to listen.” He answered, lowering himself on the ground next to me.

“I don’t want to listen.” I tried, lamely.

“Ella.” He said with a sigh. He waited a minute, to see if I was going to get up and leave. When I didn’t, he continued.

“What you said to Michelle was way out of line. Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, Ella….”

“For the last fucking time, I am NOT jealous of Michelle..” I yelled. He looked shocked for a minute, and then just pissed off. I didn’t let it stop me though.

“I love how everyone just assumes that I lashed out because of jealousy. Did you ever stop to think that there was another reason? Did you ever think to, oh, I dunno, ask me why I did what I did?”

“I asked Michelle and she said…”

“Oooh, and Michelle can’t lie? I’ll admit Jacob, that I was NOT a happy camper when I walked in last night and you had your arm around Michelle. I mean, what the hell was THAT anyway? I left the hotel with Jason because I thought it might look bad. I thought maybe me being alone in a hotel room with my ex boyfriend MIGHT make you a little uncomfortable. So even though I was tired, and just wanted to lay down and veg out for a little bit, I went back out to find YOU. But you never ONCE thought about me last night at all. Not when I was sitting alone in the bowling alley, bored out of my skull, not when I left to go back to the hotel room, and not even after I stormed off, by myself, at night. You didn’t even bother to pick up the phone and send a ‘I’m still pissed but are you OK’ text. The only one you were ever concerned with was Michelle. So maybe you’re with the wrong girl. Maybe you should just be with Michelle.”

“Ella you ripped her a new one in front of EVERYONE. What was I supposed to do? ‘Oh sorry ‘Chelle, my girlfriend was just a huge bitch to you for what looks like no reason. Let me go find HER and make sure she’s OK’?”

“No. But again, you didn’t even bother to take five seconds to send a text to make sure I wasn’t lying somewhere raped and strangled. And even coming in here now, instead of asking me why I did what I did, you jump to conclusions. You assume Michelle is right, and I’m wrong, and I’m just some huge crazy bitch. And if that’s the case, then why are you even here?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you!” He yelled back, frustrated.

“Then why didn’t you talk? Why did you come in here shooting off accusations and not even bothering to ask me why I did what I did, or if I was OK?” I was crying now. Last night I had been pissed off, but now that had gone away, and all I was left with was the hurt. I was even more embarrassed that I was showing the hurt. I didn’t want him to know he had gotten to me, I wanted to appear like I didn’t care what he thought. But, I did.

“Ella…” He sighed. His voice was softer, but there was still a touch of frustration on it. You could tell he was still angry, but that he didn’t want to hurt me either.

“It doesn’t matter Jacob. It’s not a big deal. I’m going home, you can go on with Michelle, and it’s fine.”

“But it’s NOT fine, do I even get a choice? Are you even going to listen to what I want?”

“I don’t see why I SHOULD listen. How would you feel if you and Jason got into a fight, and you stormed off and I didn’t even call you to make sure you were OK? And then, when I do see you, instead of asking what happen, I just assume it was all your fault? It doesn’t sound like you were even willing to listen to me, so why should I listen to you?”

Jacob was quiet for a moment. I could tell he was thinking over what I had to say.

“Look, I’m not saying I wasn’t wrong to do what I did. I was being a brat. I was tired, cranky, sore, and yes, I was a little jealous. I handled it badly. I’m willing to admit that. But what I’m not willing to do is say that I was entirely to blame. Michelle has done her fair share of pushing my buttons. She was just made sure to do it when no one else was around.”

“Do you think maybe you’re just being a tad paranoid? Maybe a little more jealous that you’re willing to admit? I mean I’ve known Michelle for a long time…”
“Right, and again, you’re just willing to assume she’s perfect and didn’t do anything wrong. How is this going to work when you’re not willing to trust me? Or even listen to me. Jacob I watched her flirt with Sean. When I went to the bathroom at the party the other night, they were off alone in a corner together. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she didn’t realize he was married. So I went over there and I mentioned his wife in front of her. Then she followed me in the house and told me that I didn’t have to worry about her breaking us up…”

“See! She’s trying to reassure you!” Jacob chimed in before I could finish.

“…Because she knew you’d tire of me and throw me away like the rest.” I finished.

Again, Jacob was quiet.

“Jason has even told me about the looks he sees her give me. She doesn’t like me. She’s jealous of me. And again, I can admit that I’m a little jealous too. No girl is going to LOVE that her boyfriend is best friends with another girl. However, I also have been in that position, I’ve also been treated poorly just because I was a guy’s friend. I know how irritating it is, because I would never get between Drew and his girlfriend or Jason and his girlfriend. So I was willing to give her a chance. She wasn’t willing to give ME the chance. And, I have to suspect too, since I doubt I’m your first girlfriend ever, that you’ve probably had this issue with Michelle before. I can’t be the first one she’s tried to run out on a rail.”

I waited for him to say something, and he still didn’t speak.
“Am I right?” I pressed.

“She’s had some issues before. But, I mean, that’s not the reason we broke up.”
“Really? Because honestly, if we had dated for a long time, I wouldn’t have been able to put up with Michelle. It’s draining.”

“She’s had a rough life, Ella.”

“Yeah, I know. Your Mom told me all about it. Everyone keeps offering it up like it’s some sort of an excuse, but it’s not.”

“It’s not an excuse Ella, it’s just… A reason.”

“No, it’s not, it’s an excuse. I should be more tolerant of Michelle and the way she is because her childhood was rough. I’m sorry that her childhood was bad. I really am. I see kids all the time, and it’s so unfair that they have to go through the things they do. Some of their situations… I don’t think full grown adults could handle. But at some point, you have to get over it. You can’t keep clinging to it, saying it’s OK to act whatever way you want because this bad thing happened to you when you were a kid. You have to work through your issues, and you have to move on. A LOT of people have had bad lives and have been placed in horrible situations. It doesn’t give them a pass to do whatever they want.”

“You don’t understand, Ella. You don’t know everything. And, it’s easy for you to say something like that when you haven’t been through something like that.”

“I’ve been through plenty, Jacob. Maybe not as bad as Michelle has been through, but I’ve also seen kids who have been through worse and act better than she does. Life is hard on everyone at some point. One person’s mountain is another’s molehill, and vice versa. Life is rough, it’s unfair, bad things happen to good people. I’m willing to tolerate Michelle’s behavior as long as she is working on getting better about it. But, I am not willing to give her a free pass just because her life sucked at some points. So, it’s up to you to decide what to do with that.”

“Are you saying it’s you or her? Are you giving me an ultimatium?”

“In a way, yeah.” I said, shrugging. “I don’t expect you to drop her, but I’m also telling you that I’m not tolerating anymore bitchy behavior.”

“What does that even mean?” He asked, clearly frustrated.

I was about to open my mouth to answer, when I heard Michelle’s voice chime in.

“She doesn’t have the guts to say it, so I will. It’s her or me. What’s it gonna be Jacob?”