It's been a shitty week. I've been in a sad/bummed mood and I keep trying to shake myself out of it, and I can't. It's true, when it rains, it pours, and right now it feels like it's coming down awfully hard.
George went home. He's doing OK, I guess. There's not much to do, we wait till after Thanksgiving, he gets his heart stents put in, and then I guess they'll tell us what our next step is. It's a whole bunch of waiting, which I was never really good at.
I do want to thank each and every one of you for your thoughts, prayers, well wishes, understanding... It honestly means more to me than you'll ever know. I wouldn't say I'm not a religious person, but I do think that I have a slightly less than traditional view on the whole thing, but people offering up prayers REALLY makes me feel good. I don't even consider it a really religious thing. There's just something really nice about a bunch of people sending their good thoughts for you out into the universe, you know? Anyway, again, thank you SO much for that.
But, after the whole George debacle, we came home to find our bank account was over drafted. Turns out the direct deposit my husband was supposed to get Thursday didn't come till Friday. So everything we paid for Thursday pretty much bounced. Then, to top it all off, not only was it not there on time, it was short. So. It's been fun.
It just sucks too, because I feel like I can't get a job to help out, because then what will I do with Cayden? Right now we qualify for free childcare, but that'll disappear if I start working, and then pretty much whatever I make will go to childcare, so it'll be like I'm working to have someone else take care of my child. It's dumb. I guess my only other option is to get a 3rd shift job, so Jeremy can watch the baby while I work, but I don't feel super safe doing that. I keep holding off, but if it gets to that, it gets to that.
Then, the grand finale on this, the straw that has broken this camel's back, (and this may be TMI, so...) My period is late. Which you would think I would be excited about, right? Wrong. I took a test. It's negative. I waited a few days and took another, it's still negative. So I'm most likely not pregnant, and on top of that, that means my cycle is messed up, so it's going to be even harder to try to get pregnant.
I'm trying to be positive. I know lots of people have it worse, I know that my situation could get worse. I'm trying to think positively and shake this bad mood, it's just a rough spot, we've had them before, and we've made it through. It's just rough.
How are you all doing? How has your week been?
I'm not sure what the rest of this week looks like as far as posting. I don't have tomorrow's post written yet, the meeting today took WAY longer than I had planned (good news, I may get a job out of it, bad news, I have to help raise a lot of money and I dunno if we'll be able to do it.) Tomorrow Jeremy's off work, and we have a zoo trip planned, plus I think we're going over to his Mom's house, as it's her birthday today. I really feel like I need to spend some time with Jeremy. I feel like the time we've spent together lately has been us trying to deal with his parents and we're both exhausted and stressed, so I'm looking forward to trying to spend a stress free day with him tomorrow.
Breaking the Surface
9 years ago
7 comments:
Oh Laura I feel so bad for you. I hope things get better. I am going through some rough times right now too. I have a 3 year old son who has been through so much in his little life. He has had 2 strokes a brain tumor ( that was benign thank god) and seizures. We finally get the all clear this past may and it has been a blissful 5 months but now they are telling me he has to do a couple of more surgeries to repair some damage ( to his eyes). It is a simple little procedure but it brings up all these fears all over again. that the doctors will find something like they did before. it is really stressful. then last week I found out my husband of 7 years was cheating on me. to top it off I lost my job. so I do know when it rains it pours. Hang in there though. It will be okay. I keep reminding myself that it was a lot worse when my son had the tumor and the strokes but I still survived. It seems so impossible right now but one day you wake up and you realize I survived.
Chin up!
Anon- I feel bad for you! I am really grateful that you told me about your situation. It really helps give me a wake up call when I hear that someone else is going through a rough spot too. Does that sound horrible? I don't mean it too. I wouldn't wish a bad time on anyone or anything, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, it puts things in perspective.
Right after Cayden was born I was having a rough spot. I was sick, I was tired of being sick, I was tired of not being able to care for my child, I was tired of being tired... I threw a HUGE pity party for myself. Then I stumbled across a blog (it's listed in my blog links) about a premature baby who was fighting for her life. It made me stop and appreciate the little things. These parents were trying to raise two other children while also taking care of this tiny little girl who they had to go to the hospital to see. Sometimes they couldn't even hold her because it would aggrivate her and send her condition spiraling out of control. It made me appreciate the little things. Getting up with my son in the middle of the night wasn't a chore, but a privledge. I was lucky to do that. And if this tiny little girl could go through heart surgery, certainly I would be able to make it through a routine laproscopic gall bladder removal.
So thank you, for putting things in perspective for me. I hope your son gets better, and I hope you know that you're way better than your husband. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts.
Anon and Laura, I admire you guys so much. I'm not married yet and I don't have kids, so all I can say is that I hope when the time comes, I'll have your strength to handle the hardships that may come my way.
Keep the faith that things will get better. We never get more than we can handle out of life.
Anon, you have such a positive attitude, I really admire that. I'd like to smack your husband for you!! You need to be a team with helping your son I hope you have alot of friends and family for support. Actually we are hear if you ever want to vent. I don't think Laura will mind you venting on here. And Laura hope your week gets better. I'm terrible with my finances and I'm a bookkeeper lol. I just can't manage my own finances. I'm overdrawn and late on rent (luckily I have a landlord that works with you) yet I keep buying "great deals" from Avon and a cell phone and my daughter a cell phone. Got to quit the spending!!! Anon and Laura I'll send good wishes your way.
Laura, I've been unemployeed for over a year now, and I find myself in your situation. I could take a minimum wage job, but everything will go toward childcare. We have 3 kids, so I'm not even sure if that would cover childcare. About 3 months after I lost my job, my husband found out that the place he worked for was closing, but luckily, the first week he was supposed to draw unemployment, he got another job offer. When I was working, I made as much as my husband, so when I lost my job, our income was cut in half. We have had to sacrifice a lot in order to stay afloat, but it does get easier. As for your period being late, stress can play a huge part in that. I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax. Things will turn around for you, and when they do, try to remember what you have learned from these hardships. It really does help you in the future. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Laura and Anon my prayers are with you and your families. You both are two VERY strong women who've been dealt a heavy load - but keep going strong and you'll find there will be more light at the end of the tunnel then the tunnel is long.
Anon - you are strong and remember that - just think back on all you've overcome and you'll get through the job loss and your husband's infidelity as well.
Laura - you're courageous, just keep your head high and move forward. Remember when you're strapped for cash that we'd all love to purchase your first book. ;-)
Well, we just got hit again. Cayden has the worst diaper rash I've ever seen, it's bleeding, annnnnd we come home to a letter from the IRS. They want 618 dollars. By December.
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