FB: Now here I am trying to make sense of it all We were best friends now we don't even talk

Jacob breaking up with me wasn’t even the “highlight” in what will forever be known as the worst summer of my life. The next week I ended up getting tore a new one, not only from a parent of one of my campers, but also by my boss.

The situation was so ridiculous that had I not been so upset about the whole thing, I probably would have laughed until I cried. Bethani and I were teamed up that week, of course, and we had a little girl in our cabin who was more reserved than the other girls. I tried all my tricks to bring her out, giving her one on one time, teaming her up with a camper who had been there before… Nothing worked. At the end of the week – Friday night, our last day there – the shy-girl randomly walked up to another girl in the cabin and smacked her in the face.

To say I was shocked is an understatement. I hadn’t known that all week long the girls had been picking on this other girl. I hadn’t seen anything, and nobody mentioned anything to be. The shy-girl’s Mom was upset that her daughter was being picked on, and blamed me for it. The girl admitted that I had tried to talk to her and be nice to her, and also admitted that she had told me nothing about what was going on. Her Mom even admitted that of course her daughter didn’t tell me, that would mean that she was a rat, she also said point blank that the girls probably didn’t let on they were picking on her.

I was stunned. What exactly did she want me to do then? I had tried to draw the girl out of her shell. I had tried to help her make friends. I’m not a mind reader, and I honestly have a zero tolerance for bullying (I always told the girls, they don’t have to like everyone, but there’s no reason to be mean to someone either. It makes no sense, wasting your energy picking on someone you don’t like, and risking getting into trouble over them.) She was totally chewing me out for not stopping something that she admits that I had no clue what was going on. She didn’t even accuse me of not close enough attention!

My boss, who hated to look bad, decided to make an example of me. Bethani, of course, had bailed out on the meeting, leaving early. That didn’t matter anyway, I was a senior counselor and I should have known better. By the end of the meeting, I was in tears, which made me even more embarrassed, to cry in front of my boss and other co-workers. At this point though, I was just so stressed out and pissed off. I was angry at so many different people, Jacob for dumping me without even telling me, Bethani for bailing and letting me take all the blame, my boss for not realizing how stupid the situation was and sticking up for me. I busted my ass all summer, and even before that, to help him get ready for camp, and he had no problem letting me take the fall for something that wasn’t my fault. I was even pissed at Jason, because he hadn’t been in touch like he used to.

I went home that weekend and seriously considered not showing back up on Monday morning. I went home that weekend, ignoring everyone’s phone calls. I was sulking, and I knew it, but I didn’t care. I was in such a bad mood, I didn’t think I’d ever get out of it.

I did go back to work. I had too. I knew I was having a tough summer, but I did love my job. Besides, quitting would put me in a much bigger predicament.

Still, I was relieved when the summer was over, but I didn’t really realize what it meant. I was happy to not have to work with Bethani anymore, and to be able to stay home and recharge, but all I did was think about Jacob.

I knew breaking up was the best for us. I realized that things had changed, I didn’t have the same feelings for Jacob anymore, and he had issues that I couldn’t fix. I just couldn’t figure out why he did what he did. Was he lying the whole time? Pretending to care for me when he really didn’t? I hadn’t thought he was that type of guy, but did I really know him at all?

I was angry, and confused. I wanted answers, but I had no idea how to get them. I hadn’t called him since the day I was supposed to pick him up from the airport. What was the point? I had called him a million times that day, so worried that something had happened. He hadn’t answered, nor had he called me back. I sat down at the computer, trying to write him an email… But…

For one, I didn’t want him to know how upset I was over this. Part of me didn’t want him to get the wrong idea, I was fine with the fact we had broken up, but I was so pissed off at how he had stood me up. The other part of it was pure pride. He was going around telling everyone that he had dumped me. I didn’t want him to know that ticked me off as well.

I also had no idea what to say. Everything I wrote sounded so angry… I was angry, but mainly I just wanted answers. Did he ever care about me? When did he stop? Why wasn’t he honest?

I thought the summer couldn’t get any worse, but just like in cliché horror movies, once you utter the words “it can’t get any worse than this” it always does.

I was hoping to end the summer on a high note with a trip to Indiana for Kyle’s baptism. I was going to stay for a few days, relaxing and getting to know the tiny human that was my new God-son. I was a little nervous, I knew Jason would be there, but I was also hoping that maybe we could reconnect a little, get our old friendship back.

That hope soared when I arrived and Kayla wasn’t with Jason.

“Where’s your girlie friend?” I asked, trying to sound casual. I couldn’t help holding out hope that they had broken up again.

“Her friend’s parents actually paid for her to go on a cruise with them. Nice, huh?”

“Yeah.” I answered, disappointed and a little jealous.

“But, actually, I was kinda glad she’s gone. I mean, I miss her, I’d like to see her, but I feel like you and I don’t get to spend any time together. You’ve been busy with camp and all… I feel like I’ve missed out on some stuff.”

I beamed. “Yeah, well, you know how it goes. Busy me.”

“Uh huh.” He said, patting the seat next to him on the sofa. I sat down. “What’s been going on?” He asked.

“Not much. Glad summers over.” I answered, smiling.

“Really? Usually it’s your favorite thing.” He said, looking surprised. “What happened?”

“Summer was just a mess this year. Work was really stressful, I got chewed out, and then the whole Jacob situation.”

“Yeah. I was wondering what happened with Jacob? It seemed so… Sudden.”

I shrugged. “We’ve been having… Issues… For awhile. He didn’t deal well with me working, he wanted me to come out and see him. He flipped when I left to go visit Toni when she had the baby, and I had told him I had enough.” I hesitated, wondering if I should tell him the whole thing. “The thing is… The reason I called you that day… Well. I had broken up with Jacob a few days before. And he had called me, begging me to take him back, saying he was flying out to work things out… I went to pick him up, and he just wasn’t there. I thought something bad had happened… Like he had hurt himself or maybe got into an accident. I had no idea he was with someone else. He never told me.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jason said, looking surprised.

“I don’t know Jason… You seemed so distant, and to tell you the truth, I was kind of embarrassed. I mean, I didn’t have any idea any of this was going on. Which just makes me wonder how long he’s been lying to me.”

Jason shook his head. “I don’t know Ella. Geez, I’m sorry. If I had known… Well, I would have never introduced you to him.”

“It’s not your fault. I mean, I don’t think he was always like this… I think Michelle doing what she did made him have a break down. I just kept waiting for the old Jacob to come back… And I think maybe he’s gone for good.”

We were both quiet for a moment, thinking our own thoughts.

“What about you? What have you been up too?” I asked, realizing that I really had clue what Jason had been doing these last few months.

He smiled a shy smile. “Well. That’s kinda why I came home. I mean there was the new baby and everything… But, I sort of have some news…”

“What kind of news?” I asked cautiously.

“Well. There’s good news, and then there’s bad news. Which do you want first?”

“Bad news.” I always took the bad before the good, because then I had the good to look forward too.

“Well. I’m leaving. They’re deploying me again…”

“Oh Jason.” I said, trying not to cry. This really was the worst summer ever.

“It’s OK. I’ll be fine.” He said, throwing his arm around me and pulling me in for a side-to-side hug.

“You say that, but you don’t know.” I said, looking down.

“Well hey,” he said, after a moment, “you don’t even know what my good news is.”

“What?” I asked, sniffling.

“Well…” He looked nervous. “I’ve decided… I just think… With the deployment.” He stumbled over his words, and then laughed. “Man, this is crazy. I decided with the deployment that I’ve wasted too much time, ya know? And. Well. I’m going to ask Kayla to marry me. It’ll be a long engagement… We won’t do it before I leave or anything…”

I didn’t hear him after that. My world fell silent. It was over, and nothing would ever top this, the worst summer ever.