The next morning we got up early and headed to Toni’s appointment. We left the kids at home with Matt, who had taken the morning off to watch. I had taken the whole day off so that Toni could go with Drew to pick up supplies to start the remodel. I was nervous about seeing Drew again, and wondered how he would act.

Toni was right about the doctor’s office, it was pretty boring. We waited for awhile, Toni filling out paperwork. Then she got called back to speak with a nurse and go over family history, and to get her vitals. Then we waited some more. Finally, we were called back to see the doctor. She was a young woman, with long brown hair and a welcoming smile. She went over a few things in Toni’s health history, and then led us back to a room for an ultrasound.

“This is where it gets fun.” Toni said, after she changed into the backless gown and hoisted herself on the table.

After a few more moments of waiting, the doctor knocked on the door and came back in.

“Alrighty, ready to see your little one?” She asked, sliding on gloves and smiling at Toni.

Toni nodded, and I looked away as the doctor inserted the wand.

The doctor kept the screen away from Toni at first. She poked around, looking at things, and then she let out a ‘hmm’.

Toni shot me a look. Hmm is not something you want your doctor to say when she’s giving you an exam. I reached for her hand, in case the news was bad.

“What, Doctor?” Toni asked.

The doctor turned the screen around, and smiled.

“Well, Toni. It looks like you’ll be having twins.” She said, pointing out the two little blob-sack babies on the screen.

The doctor went over a few more things, but I’m not quite sure Toni was listening. I tried to take it all in, in case I needed to repeat it to her later, but I was also in a state of shock. Twins? Really? Toni was freaking out about having one baby. How was she feeling now that she had found out that she’d be having two babies?

Toni didn’t say anything as she got dressed. She only spoke to the receptionist as we were leaving to make another appointment. She was silent in the elevator, and quiet in the car. Finally, when we pulled up in front of the house, I spoke.

“Toni… Are you OK?”
She turned her head to look at me slowly. And then very calmly answered. “I don’t know.”

“What?” I asked.

“I mean. I don’t know Ella. I’m excited. I’m scared. I’m nervous. I’m overwhelmed. I’m so many things… I mean twins run in our family, but I just never really thought about it… At first, when she said it, I wanted to cry. Like, I didn’t think I could handle one, so you’re now giving me two? What kind of sick joke is that? But now, the more I think about it… I’m OK. I mean, we’re going to be down here, you’ll be down the street, I’m staying home now. I think we’ll be OK.”

“Do you still want to go out with Drew today?” I asked.

“Oh yeah. I have too.” She said, laughing. “We REALLY need to make sure the house is done by the time they get here, and I’m really not going to be able to help as much as I thought I was. So. I need to get a move on.” She said, patting my leg.

“Well. Congrats!” I said, leaning over and hugging her.

“Thank you!” She paused for a moment. “And Ella, don’t tell Nick, OK? Or anyone… I kind of want to find a special way to tell Nick, in person.”

“My lips are sealed.” I said, happy that she was handling this well.

“And one more thing… Can I borrow your car? I told Drew I’d meet him at the Home Depot.”

“…He’s not coming here?” I asked, disappointed.

“No. He’s taking the truck and we plan to load it down with stuff, so he wasn’t sure there’d be room…”

“Are you sure that’s the reason? Or is it that he just doesn’t want to see me?” I asked.

She sighed. “I don’t know Ella. All I know is what he told me. But I wouldn’t doubt that he wants some space. I think it’s hard for him to see you and not be with you. Just give him some time. He’ll come around.”

I didn’t say anything. Drew wasn’t making any sense to me. I didn’t see how we were supposed to let things happen when he was busy avoiding me.

I let Toni take the car, going in to relieve Matt of his post. He had just put Izzy down for a nap, and Kyle was in a rare moment of calm, watching Car’s on DVD. I used the quiet time to prep lunch and get started on laundry. I went around and picked up random toys, and then crashed on the couch to watch some of the DVD with Kyle.

I’m glad that I enjoyed my downtime, because when Izzy woke up, it was non-stop. They cried, they begged to be held, they were hungry, Kyle didn’t want to take his quiet time, Izzy fell, Kyle was trying to ride Cumulus… It was pretty much go-go-go until Toni came home, and as soon as she came home, I went and took a long nap.

Saturday Toni and I took the kids to the mall. The weather was cold, but the kids were sick of being cooped up. We let them play in the play area, while Toni showed me color swatches.

“Do you think I should go get a new outfit while we’re here?” I asked.

“For what?” Toni said, distracted.

“My…” I hesitated. I wasn’t sure what tomorrow night was. “Thing with Seth.”

“Why do you need a new outfit? Isn’t it just a hockey game?”

“Yeah.” I replied.

“What do you normally wear to a game?”

“A hoodie and a jersey.”

“You don’t have those things?” She asked, looking up from her catalog to check on Izzy and Kyle.

“I do but…”

“But you want to dress up. I mean isn’t that a little much? It’s a hockey game.”

“Yeah. You’re right. This whole going with the flow thing is hard though.” I whined.

“Well, if you wanna buy something new, just go to a sports store and pick up a new jersey or something.” Toni said, waving me off.

I left her there and headed over to the blue line, to find a new jacket or jersey or something. Toni was right, I couldn’t dress up and not look like I wasn’t trying hard, but I did still want to look good. My other jersey was kind of old, and my sweatshirt had a bunch of stains on it.

I was browsing around when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Hey.” Drew said as I turned around.

“Uh, hi.” I responded. “What are you doing here?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.

“Shopping.” He said, smiling back at me. “Toni said you guys were hanging out. I thought I’d stop by… I didn’t want you to think I was avoiding you or something.”

“But you have been.” I said honestly.

Drew smiled and half smile. “Yeah. I guess I have been. It’s just hard, you know.”

“Well. I mean. We’re friends right? Friends help each other through stuff, so if you want to talk about anything…” I trailed off.

“I know. I know. I’ll be around more, I promise. What are you here picking up?”

I paused, panicking a little. Should I tell him about Seth? I mean on the one hand, it was too soon to tell if Seth was anything. But, on the other hand, not being a hundred percent honest was what got me into trouble in the first place.

“I have a thing on Sunday. I’m going with this guy to a hockey game. I need a new jersey.”

“Oh…” Drew looked a little wounded. “A date?”

“No. I don’t think so. He’s teaching my kids some break dance, and said he had never been to a game before… So I told him I’d go with him.”

“Well... Have fun.” Drew said, turning to leave.

“Don’t be a stranger!” I called as he walked away.