Nick's POV: Would you want me when I'm not myself?

Like normal people, I couldn’t wait for the weekend to come. I felt like I spent my whole life, trudging through work, trying desperately to hold on for those two days where I got to go home and see my wife and my kids. I just hated that a good chunk of my weekend was spent working on the house. I felt like there was never enough time… But, I knew in the end it would be worth it. Seeing the look on Toni’s face when she saw how much we had completed next weekend… Well, that was worth it. She was an amazing woman, and I wanted to do whatever I could to show her that I appreciated it all.

Still, while I would do this labor for my wife, it didn’t mean I was immune to the exhaustion that came with the constant traveling back and forth, and the non stop work. My temper had grown short with just about everyone except for my wife and kids, so I was not in the mood to come to home and deal with a moping Drew.

“Hey.” I said to him as I entered the house and dropped my bags. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” He answered, not moving from the couch. “Toni asked me to sit today. I love your kids but man… They don’t quit, do they?”

“Why’d she ask you to sit?” I asked, confused. I walked to the kitchen to grab a soda.

“Toni didn’t tell you?” Drew called.

“No. Where’s Ella?”

“She’s off with her little boy toy. A weekend away.”

“Oh yeah.” I said, rubbing my eyes. I didn’t want to get into this with him. Drew was very adamant that he was over Ella, but any time she or Seth was brought up… Well, you could practically see his skin boil. It bothered him, no matter what he said.

I had already tried to state the obvious: that they were both being idiots. But any time I brought up the fact that Drew was obviously still head over heels with Ella, Drew shut down. I was tired of dealing with it. Honestly, Kyle was easier to talk too then Drew these days.

“You think they’re getting serious?” Drew asked, not looking at me.

“I don’t know.” I answered, sinking into the couch next to him.

“But… I mean, a weekend away. Sounds pretty serious.”

I took a long swing of my soda. “I don’t know Drew. I didn’t even know they were going away together. Between work, and Toni, and the house and the kids… I don’t have much time to talk to Ella. She’s got her hands pretty full too.”

“Are you saying I’m not doing anything to help? That I don’t have a lot on my plate?” Drew snapped.

I shook my head. He was so touchy these days. “No, Drewbie. I’m just saying I don’t have a lot of time to talk to anyone. Besides, I don’t think El has ever discussed relationships with me. We don’t have that sort of friendship.”

He looked away, and didn’t speak for a moment. “But… I mean, going away for the weekend is pretty serious.” It was phrased as a statement, but I could tell Drew wanted me to disagree with him. What I really wanted to tell him to do was grow up, grow some balls, and get Ella back if he wanted her so badly.

“Not necessarily.” I answered instead. It was true that I first realized I was in love with Toni on a weekend away, but I knew telling him wouldn’t help matters. “I mean, you could go away with someone and realize how annoying they are. Why do you care anyway?” I knew I shouldn’t have asked that last part, but I was hoping it would shut him up.

“I don’t care.” He started, but then sighed. “I mean, I do care, just… I don’t want to be with her, but I still don’t want her to be with a jerk.”

“You think Seth is a jerk?” I asked, confused.

“His brother sure is. And the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“Even you have to know how weak that sounds.” I said, finishing my soda and getting off the couch to throw it away. “He came over to help out, remember? And brought a bunch of his friends to make up for his brother’s behavior. You don’t have to like him Drew, but I don’t think he’s a bad guy.”

“Whatever.” Drew said. He was clearly pouting.

“How’s Christi?” I said, desperately wanting to change the subject.

“She’s good. Out of town right now.” He was shutting down. I could tell by his clipped answers.

“When’s she coming back?”

“Sunday night.”

“Things are good between you two?” I prodded. I should have just cut my losses and left well enough alone.

“Things are fine. What’s with the twenty questions?” He snapped again.

And then I snapped.

“Look Drew, I’m trying to be nice here. I know you’re going through a lot, and I know you’re also helping us out with the kids and the house and all that. But you’re not willing to talk about anything you’re going through, so I can’t help you there, and if you’re going to be a prick all the time, it would be much easier to do the house without you. It’s clear you miss Ella.” He started shaking his head and opened his mouth to interrupt me.

“Don’t, Drew, just shut up. You can deny it all you want, but your actions clearly show that you miss her. Whether it’s just as a friend or as more, I don’t know. But either you talk to her and work it out with her, or you don’t. But either way you need to stop taking your crap out on everyone else. It’s getting old.”

I didn’t wait for his response. I left the room in search of my wife and kids.

Of course, if I expected to find any relief from drama in Toni, I should have known I would be mistaken. I love my wife, I love her more than I love myself, but she never really handled pregnancy well. Now that it was pregnancy times two? I never really knew which Toni I was going to get: Depressed Toni, Blessed Toni, Happy Toni, Angry Toni, Horny Toni… Sure that last one was nice, but not enough to make up for the depressed Toni, or the Angry Toni… And, the she would flip personalities on a dime. One second I’d be speaking to my normal wife, and the next second she’d be crying, or yelling at me. Again, I appreciated all she did for me, and for the kids, but between her and Drew I was losing my sanity.

“Hi honey.” I said, sitting down on the bed next to her.

“Can’t you see I’m trying to sleep?” She snapped. “I have a raging headache and I just got the kids down for a nap. All I want is a little alone time.”

“I’m sorry baby… I just missed you and wanted to tell you hi.” To be honest, my feelings were a little hurt. But, I tried to ignore her, and repeated my mantra over in my head: ‘it’s just the hormones talking. A few more months and the hormones will be gone, and Toni will be back.’

“No… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Like I said, raging headache.” She apologized, and so I leaned down to cuddle with her.

“Drew’s pissed off at me.”

“What’d you do?” Toni asked, turning on her side. “Rub my back while you’re talking.”

“I just told him he needed to grow up. He’s complaining about Ella again.”

“Oh Nick, just leave him alone. He’s going through a lot, and she’s not making it any easier on him.”

“You’re blaming Ella?” I had to keep my voice in check, but I was surprised. “What’s she supposed to do? Hang around and wait for him? He was the one who encouraged her to see other people.”

“I know, but she could have told him no. And now she’s parading her boyfriend around here all the time.”

“Drew has his girlfriend!” This time I couldn’t keep my voice in check, I shouted, and I cringed as soon as the words came out of my mouth.

“Don’t you yell at me! And don’t you dare wake those kids up!” She snapped back.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I was just surprised. I mean, this what you encouraged Ella to do, remember? To go with the flow, go see other people… And now you’re saying she’s wrong and should have waited? I’m just confused.”

“I know…” She sighed. “I just hate seeing Drew so sad. He hung on forever for that girl, and now all of a sudden… I just know he’s got to be going through a lot. I mean look at him! He’s not himself at all. I just wish…” She shook her head. “I just wish they’d both get their happily ever after.”

“I get what you’re saying. But I think the ball is in Drew’s court. He told her to move on, and if he wants her back, he’s gonna have to say something.”

“I don’t see that happening. He’s so angry at the world, he can’t see past it. He’s just mad.”

“You have any idea why?” I asked.

“Drew’s dad told me his Mom is getting married. To the younger guy. Apparently she keeps begging him to come home and meet everyone. He keeps telling her he can’t. I feel bad for his Dad… He asked me to talk to Drew, try to get him to come home. I get a feeling his soon to be ex wife asked him to do that, and he’s still in love with her so…” Toni trailed off. “I don’t know how I feel about her personally. I get wanting a fresh start, but this just seems so… Harsh.”

I nodded, cuddling up to her. I was glad to have normal Toni here right now, and was going to enjoy it until the next Toni came knocking on the door.

“You think Drew and Ella will ever get together?” She asked, sounding worried.

“I don’t know. What do you think?”

She paused, thinking, her brow wrinkled. “I used to think they would. They had too. They’re just so made for each other. But, now… I’m just not sure. Seth is such a good guy. I could easily see Ella falling for him.”

“Would that be such a bad thing? I mean you said it yourself, Seth is a good guy.”

“But he’s not Drew.” Toni responded.

I, for one, was unsure why that mattered. But I knew better than to ask.