You make it easier when life gets hard

Mama Rivers was very understanding about the situation we were in with Toni and the kids.

“You stay home with the youngsters today.” She said, when I called work this morning. “They’re probably pretty scared over the events that happened last night. Settle them in today, and tomorrow, you can bring them into work with you. We’ll figure it out Ella.”

“Thank you so much, Mama Rivers. I’m sorry, by the way, for all the trouble…”

“No trouble at all, Ella. It takes a village, you know.” She said.

As I hung up the phone, I could almost picture the twinkle that must have been in her eye as she said that last part, a smile on her worn face. Mama Rivers was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known, and I was so blessed not only to have her as a boss, but just to know her.

I threw in some laundry, made the kids breakfast, and then called Toni while they were eating.

“How are things?” She asked.

“Pretty good. Though Kyle keeps asking for you.”

“I’ll be home soon, they said I could be discharged sometime this afternoon.”

“Well. Matt and I are working on arrangements for the kids…”

“I don’t need any arrangements, they’re my kids, I’ll talk care of them.” Toni protested.

“Toni, I know you’re feeling pretty helpless right now, and I know you’re not used to people taking care of you. But the thing is, you have the most important job out of all of us. You need to keep those two little babies safe. None of us can do that. So please, let us make your job easier, and try to help make it more successful.”

“Nick’s taking the week off.” Toni grumbled. “I tried to tell him to go back to work, but he wouldn’t hear of it. And his boss wouldn’t either.”

“Well good.” I said, laughing at Toni. She hated having to depend on others. “That’ll give us time to find a sitter.”

“Oh if you think I’m leaving the kids with anyone I don’t know, you’ve GOT to be crazy, not after what that poor excuse for a human did to my kids…”

“Calm down, Toni… I don’t expect you to leave the kids with anyone. We’ve worked it out so the kids can be in daycare a couple days a week, and Matt and I were talking last night and we’re going to try to find a mother’s helper. Someone who would be here with you here too. Just to do the heavy lifting and stuff. You’d know she or he was doing their job, because you’d be here too.”

“Well. It sounds like it might work.” She said, hesitantly.

“Look, I know you’re just trying to do what’s best for the kids, and I know you feel like you didn’t protect them. I feel like that too. I mean, I’m the one who found her… And I will never forgive myself for letting her do what she did. I mean, I know the kids weren’t seriously hurt… But the thought of what could have happened? Scares me a lot. I want you to know that I’m really sorry. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep all of your kids safe. Including the unborn ones. But you have to let me help you, OK?”

Toni sighed. “Oh Ella, it’s not your fault. You did what you were supposed to do. I met the girl, I thought she seemed normal. I mean it’s not going to help to dwell on what did happen or what could have happened… I mean if I thought about everything that COULD happen to my kids… Well. We’d never leave the house. And I know that I’m not always open to help. I like doing things by myself. This is going to be hard on me. But, you are right. My number one priority right now is to keep these babies safe, since I’m the only one who can do it…. Well. I guess I’ll have to accept everyone’s help with everything else.”

“Well. Good. And look, I’ve decided that you should take my bed. I should have offered it to you in the beginning, and I don’t know why I didn’t, I just didn’t think about it.”

“I can’t take your bed Ella, I’ve already put you out so much…”

“No you haven’t. Besides, the upstairs was supposed to be my master suite anyway. Maybe after all your remodeling is done, I can get Drew to fix up the upstairs. And the only way to see if it’s suitable is to sleep in it. So, you’re taking my room. Matt’s going to set up Kyle’s toddler bed in the office, and I’ll keep Izzy with me.”

“You and Drew are talking now?” Toni asked.

“Yeah…” I said, and then I replayed last nights events.

“You two are SO meant for each other.” She said, the smile evident in her voice.

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I know. The question though really, is just when? I mean should I break up with Seth?”

“No. I don’t think so. I mean Drew said it himself, he’s dealing with his issues, and so I don’t think he wants a relationship right now. Besides, you like Seth, right?”

“Yeah. But not as much as Drew.”

“Well, of course you don’t. You’ve known Seth what? A week? And you’ve known Drew for years. Get to know Seth better. In the end, we could all be wrong, and Seth could be the one for you. Take your time, have some fun. You’ll know when – and if – it’s time to go back to Drew.”

“Well, you’ll get a laugh out of this.” I said, after a moment of silence. “Not only did Seth agree to help with the remodel on the weekends, but Drew also agreed. The cherry on the top? Jason’s coming into town to help as well.”

“Oooh boy.” She said laughing. “That, I’ll be sorry to miss. You’ll have to video tape it. Maybe we could sell it, or sell tickets.”

“You aren’t going to be here to see it in person?” I asked, confused.

“No. My Mom’s coming Friday to pick me and the kids up. We’re going to stay with her for a few days. She won’t believe I’m fine until she sees it with her own eyes. She’s using the excuse that she wants to bond with me and the kids and celebrate the twins by shopping, but I know. She’s worried.”

“Oh man, so I’m going to have to deal with this on my own?”

“Yup. Looks that way.”

“Oh this is going to be fantastic.” I said, sarcastically.

Izzy was finished eating then, and looked like she was ready to go down for another nap. While I cleaned her up and went to lay her down. I put Kyle on the phone with Toni while I did this, knowing that even though she had only been away from him for less than twenty-four hours, she still missed him.

“Mommy’s coming home.” Kyle informed me when I came back in the room.

“I know, are you excited?” I asked.

“’cited.” He said, nodding.

“Me too.” I agreed.

“When she coming?” He asked, crawling up on my lap.

“I’m not sure. The doctors have to make sure she’s one hundred percent OK. She said sometime this afternoon.”

“That’s too long.” He said. “I miss her.”

“I know buddy.” I said, hugging him. “You know, the day goes by fast when you’re doing something. How about when Izzy gets up we go play at the mall, and then we can grab lunch? Then when we come home, you both can take another nap, and after that, Mommy should be home.”

He looked at me, pursing his lips, like he was seriously thinking it over.

“We get Chinese?” He asked.

“Anything you want.” I answered.

“And a cookie?”

“If you eat your lunch, I’ll get you a cookie.” I answered.

He nodded. He sat there for a second, and then slid off my lap. He started to walk away, but then came back and gave me a hug.

“Aww. Thank you Kyle. What was that for?” I asked.

“Cuz if you weren’t here I’d miss Mommy lots more.” He said as he scurried off.

I’ll admit, that warmed my heart, and in a small way, made me long for children in a way I never had before. I was still young, and I hadn’t really thought seriously about having kids before, other than knowing that I did want them eventually. But, spending time with Izzy and Kyle that day knew that eventually was going to come sooner than later. And though I was glad when Toni came home, and happy to see her and the kids so happy, I was also a little jealous. I wanted that.

I wondered how long I’d have to wait.