Whatever Wednesday: Hope is hard

SO I wanted to continue the conversation we kind had last week, about how when people are asked for donations to help another country out, it is often met with "We should help American's first!"

I was glad to find that everyone who answered seems to feel the same way I feel: That people are people, and we should help anyone in need if we can, regardless of their nationality. I find, that like a lot of you, most people who say "help Americans first!" Aren't doing anything to help Americans at all. In fact, I find most of these people (and notice I didn't say all) are the types to complain about the help Americans DO get, like welfare and such.

Working in the inner city like I did, I saw a lot of horrible things. I saw foster parents who clearly only took on foster children just for the money, I saw parents who got welfare to use on things other than their children, I saw people abusing the system in a way that made me sick to my stomach.But I also saw Foster parents who spent their OWN money on their foster kids, parents who were working and going to school and NEEDED Welfare to help better themselves (I worked above minimum wage by myself, and had a hard time making ends meet. I couldn't IMAGINE working minimum wage with kids and trying to provide for all their needs. Not to mention, NEEDING school in order to get a better paying job to get off welfare.) Their are two sides to every story, and yes, there are people who will abuse the system, and that is a horrible thing. But that doesn't mean EVERY person using the system is abusing it.

I have "friends" (and I use that term loosely, I kind of can't stand them, I just don't really know how to go about NOT being friends with them.) who are the most racist people... The wife is a social worker, who I met while she was interning at the Settlement House I worked for. She quit early because she was "afraid" to be there (I worked there for four years, and a chunk of that time I didn't have a car, and would have to walk to the bus stop, stand and wait for it, sometimes at night. I was NEVER bothered.) I have no idea why she became a social worker. Then he was a police officer, who made many racist comments about everyone, and has mentioned people abusing the system and yada yada. But then he was fired from his job, and started collecting unemployment. He told us he wasn't bothering to look for a job, because he got paid enough and didn't want to work. Isn't that abusing the system too? Then guess who was the first to complain when the unemployment ran out?

I mean things just AREN'T fair. The kids in these school systems do NOT have the equipment I had (and I was at LEAST 10 years older than the kids. I had laptops in my classroom in high school. These kids have a few of those OLD school big box computer that they have to share. The child to teacher ratio is crazy ridiculous, and kids can't get one on one they need. Teachers are so frazzled that they just don't care... I mean it's just... I could go on for awhile. But people complain that there's now things like affirmative action, and scholarships for children who are different races and such. But the thing is, it's still not fair. A lot of these kids don't know these scholarships exist, or how to apply for them.

My main point is, though things can sometimes seem "slanted" in their direction, it's still not fair. And people who say that it IS fair, have no idea because they've never been there to take a look around.

And that's my rant on that.

Anyway, I'm also going to ask all you praying kind if you guys can keep me in your thoughts and prayers. We've started trying to get pregnant again. Well, we never really stopped... We kind of cooled it a bit. I wanted to lose weight, we were planning a vacation, I'm in a wedding in September... But I can't wait anymore. I have a friend who I was trying to get pregnant with... She's 20 weeks along already, finding out the sex tomorrow. I have another friend ready to pop at any second... Baby fever has hit and hit hard. Last month I was really disappointed because it didn't happen. I have this feeling that this month is it. I don't know why, but I just do. So if you guys could pray for us, I'd REALLY appreciate it.

And I don't want any negative comments on this subject. I know a few of you think I should have a bigger house or whatever... But the fact of the matter is, I grew up sharing a room with my sister, and while at times it was the WORST, there were plenty of times where it was the BEST. I can afford another baby, I can handle another baby, and frankly, I really want another baby. One day you too might get bit with the baby bug, and then you try to tell yourself to wait. It won't happen.