They say bad things happen for a reason

After I got off the phone with Seth, I went to the kitchen to dig around for something to make for dinner. He didn’t ask me too, but I knew when I was stressed and dealing with emergencies, meals were the first thing to go. I just didn’t think about them. So I wanted him to have a good meal waiting for him.

Unfortunately, we didn’t have much. I had been so busy dealing with the Toni situation that I had also neglected to go to the grocery store. I pulled out a frozen Stouffers lasagna Toni had bought, and also some breadsticks. I knew she wouldn’t care if I ate her food, and I’d try to get to the store tomorrow to replace it.

I was just placing the lasagna in the oven when I heard a knock on the door.
“C’mon in!” I called.

I heard Seth open the door and walk through the house. He looked good, a leather bomber jacket, a tee poking out under it, and jeans. But he also looked…. Worn, and tired.

“Hey.” He said, giving me a weak smile.

“Hey yourself. You don’t look so good. Why don’t you sit down? I’m making some dinner…”

“Oh. Thanks.” He said, still standing. “Can you leave it? I mean, can we go talk in the living room?”

“Sure. It’s got a little bit.” I said, following him out. He collapsed on the sofa, and I sat next to him.

“So, you’re probably wondering what’s going on, huh?” He asked, inspecting his nails.

“Yeah. I’m a little curious.”

“I didn’t want to tell you. I mean not yet anyway. For one, Chloe asked me not too… And, I know you’re going through some of your own stuff right now. But, I had an issue with girlfriends in the past… I’d disappear on a family emergency and they’d think I was cheating. I mean I can’t blame them, it can happen quite a bit, and I never really offered an explanation…”

“Chloe’s sick, isn’t she?” I asked softly.

He nodded.

“It’s cancer. It’s always cancer, isn’t it? I mean it’s a horrible story really. Chloe had messed around in high school, gotten herself in some trouble from time to time. It was hard for her, she was a pretty girl dealing with jealous mean girls. She acted out.” He shrugged. “But she was finally getting herself together. Applying for colleges and stuff. But she kept getting sick. She could never really say what was wrong, I just remember her saying a lot ‘I just don’t feel good.’ Finally my Mom made her go to the doctor…” He trailed off. “I don’t really want to talk about the details. When she got diagnosed we all quickly became experts at something we wish we knew nothing about. I mean they throw all these things at you at once, use textbook words, and it’s sink or swim. You either become an expert or you stand around being clueless.” He stopped. His blue eyes looked so sad.

“I’m so sorry.” I said, reaching for him.

“It’s not your fault. I mean for awhile, I was pretty pissed off at everyone. Why us? Why my sister? I mean she’s done some bad stuff, but nothing to be worthy of this. And it’s not just the fear of losing her to it, though I am terrified every time my phone rings that it’s going to be my Mom telling me that Chloe’s gone… But it’s also watching her go through this horrible procedures. I mean to save her they have to damn near kill her first. I hate seeing her like that, it’s so hard on her, and to be perfectly selfish, it’s hard on me too. I mean anticipating the worst all the time, trying to remain optimistic when she’s sick and miserable… Dropping my life at the drop of a hat whenever she gets sick, so I can be with her, just in case it is the last time. Sometimes as horrible as it sounds, I wish it was just over. One way or the other, either get let her go, or get her better, because this limbo is killing us all. But then after I think that, I feel horrible. She’s my sister, and I love her.”

“Well, I mean, I don’t think it’s so horrible. I don’t think you want her to die, you just don’t want her to be in pain.” I said.

“Yeah.” He said.

He looked so tired that I pulled him so his head was done in my lap. I did what my Mom used to do to me when I was younger and stressed… I alternated between tugging gently on his hair, and scratching/rubbing his scalp. We sat there, quietly for awhile, until the oven beeped and I got up to get the lasagna out. As I was setting the table, Seth came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Thank you, so much, for everything.” He said, his voice a little hoarse. “Thank you for being so nice to Chloe, even before you knew she was sick, and thank you so much for just listening and being there for me tonight, and thank you for just being you.”

“You’re so welcome hon.” I answered, turning around to give him a long kiss.


We ate dinner in almost complete silence. It wasn’t a bad thing, I think Seth just needed quiet to decompress. After dinner, Seth started to clear the plates.
“Just leave them. Can you stay for awhile, or do you need to get back?” I asked.

“I can stay.”

“Wanna watch a movie?” I asked.

“That would be great.”

Seth ended up spending the night, but it wasn’t what I had originally planned when I had asked him to spend the night when we were at the club. We didn’t even sleep together… He fell asleep on the couch, and as much as I wanted to stay smushed on the couch with him all night, I also wanted to make sure he got a good nights sleep… Which is also why I didn’t wake him to move him to my bed, I just wanted him to rest.

I woke up the next morning to Seth gently shaking me.

“Hey.” I said, rubbing my eyes. “Is everything OK? Did you sleep alright? I wanted to wake you but you looked like you needed the sleep.”

“Last night was exactly what I needed, thank you… But I feel bad. I forgot all about Valentine’s day, and I know last night wasn’t very romantic…” He trailed off, and he looked so sad.

“Seth, it was fine. Valentine’s day isn’t that big of a deal anyway, and you and I really just met, so that’s a tricky situation. Plus, you have a lot going on.”

“I know, but you have a lot going on too, with the Toni situation and then all your ex boyfriends are around, and that’s gotta bring up some feelings, even if you’re over them. I guess I’m just a little worried. I mean I’ve had girlfriends in the past who just couldn’t handle my dedication to my family. At first they all say it’s really sweet and they really admire it… But it never fails to eventually take a toll on our relationship. While that sucks, I’m just not willing to ditch my family for a girl, you know? But, I really like you, I don’t want that to happen with us.”

“And I can’t promise that it won’t happen.” I said honestly. “I mean, right now I do think it’s sweet. I like to think I have that same sort of dedication to my friends and family, but I’ve also never been in a situation like this before, so I don’t know if I can handle it or not. But, I’m willing to try. I like you too.”
“I do want to make it up to you… Think you can get away for a weekend? I know it’s a little soon for weekend trips away, but I need a break after all this, and I’m sure you do too. It’d be a couple weeks, when Chloe’s hopefully on the mend…”

“I’m sure I could manage it.” I said smiling.

“Good. I’ll check into some things and let you know when.”

“Where we going?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise.” And before I could protest, he leaned down and kissed me.

I normally hate kissing first thing in the morning. I’m extremely paranoid about morning breath, but Seth crawled into bed and we kissed and cuddled for awhile. It made me half an hour late for work, but it was well worth it. The ache I felt over the weekend over Drew was replaced with a warmth and happiness of Seth. I knew I needed to talk to Drew though, needed to tell him that I needed time and space. I needed to give Seth a real chance, because I did like him, he did make me happy, and Drew had obviously moved on anyway. It still hurt, but I knew Toni had been right… I needed to have some faith. I had a lot of regrets from Jason, but I couldn’t sit around worrying about every move I made. If anything, that’s what I did wrong with Drew, over thinking everything. I needed to just let things happened. Maybe I’d end up with Seth, maybe I’d end up with Drew. Maybe I wouldn’t end up with either one. It would all work out in the end. Right?