Yeah, I missed you..

Life moved on, rather quickly actually. Toni came back home, looking more pregnant, the house looked amazing, Drew and I still weren’t talking, and Jason left. Jason leaving was actually a lot harder on me than I expected it too. The hole that Drew left was somewhat filled by Jason. We still had our awkward moments, and sometimes it was hard to be around him, it certainly wasn’t perfect. But I really believe had Drew and I quit talking and Jason hadn’t been here, I would have totally fallen apart.

I didn’t talk about Drew. It was a sore spot and everyone knew it. Even Toni didn’t poke at it much. I knew what she thought, that we were both being babies and needed to just be locked in a room together until we worked it out, but for the most part, she kept her mouth shut.

Jason leaving brought a fresh batch of tears, but it also meant I had no reason to go over to Nick and Toni’s, which meant I saw Drew less. Sometimes this was harder, but it was also a relief. It was awkward whenever he and I were in the house together, and it made it strained and awkward for everyone else.

Chloe was on the mend, finally. It really was touch and go there for a minute, with Seth putting long hours in at the hospital. I stopped by occasionally, to visit and to also bring their family fresh cooked meals. I tried not to stay too long, wanting them to have their privacy. Seth miraculously managed to make time for me, even though I never asked or expected it. Our relationship flourished, and that also made the Drew separation easier. The closer I got to Seth, the less I thought about Drew, and the more I realized I had made the right decision.

Matt and Jarren were also seeing each other a lot. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that. Jarren was actually showing growth and restraint, she wasn’t being all boy crazy like she usually was. She didn’t call Matt twenty times a day, she didn’t hang all over him, and she didn’t call off work whenever he had a day off to be with him. Still, it was just an odd pairing, and while they spent time together, I had never really seen them be affectionate towards each other. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to ask him about her. Our kiss had made things a little weird, and so I tried to stay away from anything that could make it seem like I was interested in him. Don’t get me wrong, kissing Matt was pretty hot, but I was trying to do this crazy thing where I only focused on one guy at a time.

Work was going full force, we were preparing for another summer at camp, and that meant interviews to sit in on and manuals to review and schedules to plan. Between work and Seth and helping Toni take care of the kids, I was pretty busy. So busy, that I almost told Seth no when he called me to make plans for our late Valentine’s day celebration.

“I just don’t know Seth, there’s so much to do, and who’s going to help Toni take care of the kids?”

“It’s only one day off work, El. We leave early Friday, come back late Sunday. I already talked to Nick, he’ll be here Friday night. Drew can help Toni during the day. They’re ahead of schedule on the house, it’s not going to hurt anything.”

“I just don’t know.” I said, running my hand through my hair. Part of it was that I was busy at work, but another part was that I was a little afraid to be alone with Seth. I mean, we had spent time together, but honestly, this was one of my more slowly progressing relationships. With Jason and Drew, we moved pretty quickly, and Jacob and I had been thrown into something fast as well. Again, I was still a little sore from Drew, and I just didn’t want to fall in love again, only to be left picking up the pieces.

“Ella, the weather is FINALLY gorgeous. We haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time together, you leave for camp soon for pretty much the whole summer… Just promise me you’ll ask? I understand your job is important, and if you can’t get away, we’ll figure something else out. But please, just ask?”

“OK.” I caved. “I’ll ask my boss tomorrow.”

“Good. Let me know what he says so I can go ahead and make plans.”

I smiled at the excitement in his voice. “You’re still not going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope. It would ruin the surprise.”

“Well, maybe if I knew where we were going, I’d be more inclined to take a day off.” I teased.

“Or it could work the other way. Maybe I’m taking you to a total dump.”

“Well… When you put it that way, I think I have other plans.” I laughed.

Work the next day was so crazy and hectic I almost forgot to ask my boss for the day off, and when I realized I hadn’t yet, I was almost afraid too. Prepping for camp was a stressful time, with a lot to get done. I ended up putting it off for so long that I had to chase after his car as he was leaving to ask.

Much to my surprise, he ended up waving me off.

“Oh sure. You need a little vacation before this summer starts. Just write the date on my calendar so I remember. See you tomorrow!” He called as he drove off.

So. No more excuses, I was going away with Seth.

He was clearly happy when I called to tell him the news.

“Maybe we can leave Thursday night in order to have more time there. I hate the fact that a good chunk of our weekend will be spent driving…”

“Well now you need to tell me where we’re going.”

“Nope, Ella, I said surprise and I mean it.”

“But how will I know what to pack?” I whined.

“Pack comfortable clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty, but maybe a dress in case we have a night out. OK?”

“Fine.” I pouted. “Am I going to need any pillows or blanket or anything?”

“Nope.” He answered.

“Fine. Thursday night it is then.” I answered.

I went over to Toni’s house to make arrangements.

“That sounds like a lot of fun. Just talk to Drew and make sure he’s down to help out.” Toni said after I gave her the plan.

“Why can’t you ask him?”

“I’m not the one going away.” She said.

“And I’m not the one who needs help with my kids.” I countered.

“If you don’t want to help me out, then you don’t have too.” She shot back.

Toni had become more and more sensitive as her pregnancy went on. I couldn’t believe that we still had many more months of this. I hoped it eased down, but I feared that it would only get worse.

“Toni, I love your kids, and I love you, and I don’t mind helping you. I know you’re just trying to get Drew and I to make amends. But it’s not going to happen. You were the one who suggested I get some space from him. Why are you pushing this so hard?”

“It’s just… Weirder than I thought it would be. And, I figured you guys would get over this faster. You two are just so… Hostile and cold towards each other. It’s weird, and I’m over it.”

“Well, it’s just how it has to be right now. Now I hate to sound really rude, but I’m leaving Thursday night, and it’s up to you to make arrangements for help.”

“Fine.” She said.

“OK then.” I answered. I knew she was upset, but I also knew the majority of it was pregnancy hormones that would blow over.

I left the house and walked out into the brisk night. Seth was right when he said the days were gorgeous again. It had been sunny and breezy, perfect spring weather. But the night air still carried a bite, and I regretted not bringing a sweater or jacket, even for the brief walk home.

I walked into the house to find Jarren and Matt sitting together on the living room sofa, watching some movie. I stood quietly at the door, watching them. Matt’s arm was slung carelessly around Jarren, and her head was leaned on his chest. I felt a jealous pang for a brief second. For one, Matt and I had made out on that sofa, and for two… Well. While Matt and Jarren didn’t have a lot of chemistry that I could see, they did seem like it was easy to be around each other. They didn’t seem to do all the second guessing I seemed to do.

“Oh hey.” Matt said, glancing over his shoulder and spotting me. “What’s up? You wanna come watch with us?”

“No. Just wanted to stop in and say hi. It’s been kind of a rough night… I might go out for a little bit, I need to pick up some things. Seth invited me on a trip this weekend… I’m leaving Thursday.”

“What happened? And where are you going?” Matt asked.

“Just got into it a little bit with Toni. She keeps trying to push me to talk to Drew. It’s not going to happen.”

Matt nodded.

“And I’m not sure where we’re going. He won’t tell me, he says it’s a surprise.”
“Need me to watch Cumulus?”

“I dunno. I think I might ask if we can bring him, but we’ll see. Thanks for the offer either way.”

“OK.”

“Alright, well. I’m heading out. You guys need anything from the store?”

“No, I think we’re good.” Matt said, and I watched Jarren snuggle into Matt’s chest.

“Alright then…” I said, standing there for a beat longer, and then turning to leave.

I made sure I grabbed a jacket before I headed back out to my car. The jacket warmed my arms but did nothing to warm my heart. On nights like these, I couldn’t help to feel lonely. I almost wanted to call Seth up and ask him to come over, but if he asked why, what could I say? I couldn’t be lonely when my house had other people in it, could I? How could I explain that the fight with Toni had made me question my decision to cut Drew off all over again? I’m not even sure Seth knew I wasn’t talking to Drew, Drew was just something he and I didn’t discuss. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and headed out alone.