Flashback: And it's OK, if you had to go away...

It felt like I had spent months in slow motion, waiting, and then was thrown into fast forward. I packed for the party, and went to bed, waking early to Drew knocking on the door. He had to work last night but still decided to drive here to pick me up so we could fly together. We dropped his rented car off at the airport, checked our bags, and made our way through security. Some people might think it was a tad annoying to come this far and have to wait some more, but I was fine with it. I knew my boys were back, had been back for a few days, getting debriefed and all that. Sure, I missed them, and I couldn’t wait to be there, but I was just happy that both of them had made it home safe.

Others hadn’t been so lucky. I had been reminded of this about halfway through their deployment when Jason and Jacob had emailed to tell me about a close call that had taken the life of a good friend of theirs.

Drew and I didn’t talk. He looked exhausted, his head leaned back, his eyes closed. I thought he was asleep, until he reached out a hand to stop my bouncing leg. It was a nervous habit I had picked up from my Mom. I stopped bouncing, and mumbled an apology. I started cracking my knuckles instead. This caused Drew to sigh loudly, and open one eye long enough to shoot me a dirty look. I stopped mid crack, and folded my hands together on my lap. I managed to sit still until they called our flight, and then tried to focus on my book. After reading the same sentence four times, and still not being able to make any sense of it, I put the book away, and leaned back to close my own eyes. I hadn’t slept much the night before, and didn’t think I’d be able to fall asleep. I must have though, because the next thing I knew, we were touching down.

The party was being held at the same hotel that I had stayed at when I came to visit Jason at before. A lot of families were there to celebrate, and the majority of the hotel was full of Marine friends and families, and a lot of the guys had rented a bus to bring them from the base to the hotel.

We unpacked in the small cottage that Drew, Kayla, and I had rented to share (along with Jacob and Jason, whenever they got here.) Jason’s family wasn’t here, Jason was going home on leave to see them, and Jacob’s Mom was in the hospital, so they couldn’t make it either. She was having a routine surgery, so it was nothing major, and she had insisted that Jacob have some fun with his friends before he came home to deal with his dear old Mom. I had talked to her once, at her insistence (Jacob, I guess had told her a lot about me.) And she was really a sweetheart. She begged me to come home and visit with Jacob, which made me a little nervous. I liked Jacob, but I barely knew him. I respected him for deciding to wait to take things to the next level, but who knew if he would still want too now that he was home? Maybe I was just some girl to write home too, and now that he was home for awhile, he’d be free to chase other opportunities. There was also the fact that he still lived across the country, in a different time zone and everything. I liked Jacob, a lot more than I was willing to admit to anyone, and would be willing to put in the time and effort, but who knew if he would as well?

“Earth to Ella. Come in Ella!” Drew called.

“Did you say something?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah.” He said laughing. “Where were you?”

“Just thinking.” I said, smiling back at him. As worried as I was, it was hard not to be in a good mood. It was a gorgeous day, sunny and bright, my boys were safe and would be here in a matter of hours… Even seeing Kayla when we arrived couldn’t bring me down. I was happy, and for the first time in months I wore a smile that just wouldn’t go away.

“Well, sunshine. You wanna hit up the store before the guys get here?”

“Yeah, I guess we better, I know how you guys eat!”


Since the hotel we were staying at relied heavily on families visiting their marines, they were throwing a huge welcome back party tonight, serving tons of food. However, we were staying the weekend, and boys? Eat. A lot. It’s almost like a competition between all of them to see who can jam the most food in their mouth. I knew, too, that the boys would also want to drink, so we needed to find a liquor store as well.

Kayla chose to stay at the cottage, while Drew and I hit up a grocery store, piling in meat, spices, charcoal, sodas, chips, cookies, cheese, crackers… The boys had spent months making ramen noodles over car engines, we wanted to make sure that anything they may crave would be available to them. I was shocked when we got our total, but Drew didn’t even blink and handed over the money without question.
“Drewbie, do you realize how much money you just spent on total junk food?” I asked, reaching into my purse to pay him half.

“Don’t worry about it El.” He said, pushing my hand away. “I want to do it. We’ve had months of blah. Let’s just have fun, OK?”

“Fine, but I’m buying the alcohol.” I said firmly, handing Drew money.

“Whatever El.” Drew said, laughing.


We loaded the car and drove around and found the liquor store. Drew went in by himself, and came out with a cart full of alcohol. Beer, mainly, but he got a few bottles to make mixed drinks, as I wouldn’t drink beer. He also got some Mike’s Hard and a few other “girlie” drinks. We were set for a month probably, but I knew we would also be sharing with other friends that Jason and Jacob would have over. I didn’t mind. I was in such a good mood that I felt like running down the street and hugging everyone. There’s nothing like a little sadness and heartache to make you realize how good you really do have it.

We made it home, and Kayla ran out as we were unloading the car.

“Jas just called. He said they’ll be here in an hour!” She squealed. She ran back inside, and I knew she was jumping into the shower to get ready. She wanted to look good for Jason, and I wanted to look good for both Jason and Jacob.

“Go on.” Drew said, reading my mind. “Get into the shower, I’ve got this. I don’t need to look pretty for anyone!”

I smiled, kissed his cheek, and darted off, heading to the shower in my room.

Since Kayla had reached her shower first, I got the cold water. But, I didn’t care. I heard washing your hair in cold water made it shinier anyway. Plus, the cold helped me to hurry, I needed time to dry and style my hair, and I couldn’t stay in the shower long.

I jumped out, wrapping a towel around my body and my hair. I spilled my make up case out on the sink, and with shaking hands, applied it carefully. I had to stop a redo it twice, but the final outcome was as close to perfect as I was going to get. I towel dried my hair for a few minutes, squeezed some product into my hands to create a textured look, and dried it. Finally, I slipped into my halter dress, and skipped the heels. I wanted to be able to run to them, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to do so in heels. I slipped on a pair of flip-flops instead, and went downstairs to wait next to an anxious Kayla. One of us would get up to glance out the window, and as soon as she sat back down, the other would get up to check. Drew came downstairs, his hair damp from his own shower, and laughed.

“Come on, girls. You guys are making me dizzy. Let’s get some snacks ready or something, you guys are wearing holes in the carpet with all that pacing!”

Grudgingly, we both got up and headed towards the kitchen. Neither of us wanted to be far away from the door, and I think Kayla though I might try to hug Jason before her. We plated chips and crackers, and cut up slices of cheese.

“What the hell is taking them so long?” Kayla mumbled. I glanced at the clock. It had barely been an hour.

Drew mixed up a couple of drinks, hoping, I think, to calm our nerves a little bit. My leg was bouncing a mile a minute, and Kayla couldn’t stop biting on her nails. I knew the same thing was running through both our minds: would the boys who left us be the same boys who came home to us? Would they still want us? How much longer would we have to wait? It felt like I had boarded the plane to come to California years ago, and while I had been happy to wait this morning, both my patience and my nerves were wearing thin.

Drew clicked on the TV, I knew he was trying his best to distract us, but it just wasn’t working. We were so ready for this all to be over, drinks, food, and tv weren’t going to do anything but agitate our already annoyed state.

Finally, I heard a low rumbling, Kayla jumped up and ran to the window.

“They’re here!” She squealed, not bothering to wait for us, running outside.

I looked at Drew, and he started laughing.

“What exactly are you waiting for, Ella? An invitation? Go on!” He said.

I stood slowly, and then bolted out the door. People were coming from various rooms and cottages around us, as men streamed off the bus. I heard Kayla let out a whoop and located her quickly. She was in Jason arms, being swung in a circle. I couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying, or possibly both.

I hesitated, I didn’t want to interrupt them, and suddenly I felt extremely shy. I stopped and hung back a little. I felt a small tap on the shoulder. I figured it was someone asking me to take a picture or something, and was surprised when I turned and saw Jacob standing there.

He looked at me and smiled.

“I’m home.” He said.

I jumped up into his arms, knocking both him and myself to the ground. He started laughing, but clung to me tight.

“God, I didn’t realize exactly how much I missed you.”