Things will be hard at times, but I've learned to try

Jacob’s hands slipped up my shirt, not going much higher than my waist, but still. His bare hands were a little rough, and a little cool, sending all sorts of tingles up and down my spine. He would grip my waist tightly, then rub slightly, pulling me towards him. I couldn’t help but grind my hips against him, which caused him to groan slightly. I’m not exactly sure how long we stood there, kissing, but someone walked by and started clapping, and Jacob pulled back, breathing hard. He leaned his forehead up against mine.

“I want you, but not like this.” He said, touching my face. “You’re amazing, and I want everything to be amazing. It was just hard. I feel like we’ve never been alone.”

I nodded. “I feel the same way.” I whispered, not trusting my own voice.

He ran his hands up and down my sides a few times, and then pulled away, opening my door and helping me inside. He stood outside his own door for a few, I assume trying to calm himself down, and then climbed in.

We went to the hospital, where we were taken care of relatively quickly, especially considering it was an ER. I felt a lot more confident in my cast. Yeah, it was heavier, and bulkier, but I felt a lot safer about it getting hit or bumped with the added protection. Jacob didn’t have to slow much for me, though I did wish I could hold his hand as we were walking. He turned to me.

“You know, they won’t be expecting us back for a little while longer… I kinda wanted to take you on a date…” He trailed off, looking at me like I was going to turn him down.

I smiled at him. “I don’t want to keep you away from your family and friends.”

“I know. But, just. Ice cream?” He offered.

Again, so cute. “Yeah, I think that would be OK.”


We went to a cute little ice cream parlor. Jacob made me sit down. He relayed the flavors to me from the counter, and placed my order, carrying both ice creams back to me.

“So.” I said, taking a lick. “Michelle’s pretty friendly.”

Jacob smiled wide, and blushed slightly, which brought out his dimples.

“Yeah, she’s always been pretty affectionate.

“Anything there between you too?” I asked, braving a look at him.

“Me and Shell? No. I mean, she had a crush on me way back in grade school, but nothing ever came of it.” He shrugged. “She’s just, Michelle, ya know? She’s like my sister.”

“So….” I started again. “Michelle’s your sister… What am I?”

He looked down and smiled again. “My girlfriend?” It was more of a question than an answer.

“Oh.” It was my turn to blush now. “When did this happen?” I teased.

“I like you Ella. I wanted to take things slow, but I just feel like after waiting so long and being away from you for so long… I just can’t.”

His honesty quieted me.


We talked a little more about various things, and I told him I wanted to be dropped off at Nick and Toni’s so he could spend some time with his Mom. He tried to argue with me a little, but I think he did agree that he needed some alone time with her. He walked me to their door and left me with a lingering kiss. I stood at their door, watching him drive away, and wondering exactly what was going to happen tonight. Finally, I turned and entered Nick and Toni’s house.

Nick and Toni had gotten married earlier in the year when Jason and Jacob were in Iraq. They had talked about postponing until they got home, Nick really wanted Jason to be there, but then Toni’s Dad got sick. They didn’t think he was going to make it, so a small wedding was thrown together in about two weeks time frame. Though the wedding was small, but beautiful, and on the favors Toni had pinned yellow ribbons to have everyone wear. In a way, it was like Jason and Jacob were there.

After the wedding, there was, unfortunately, a funeral. Toni’s Dad died. She handled it pretty well, considering, and with the inheritance he left her, Toni and Nick were able to buy a small house on a nice piece of land. Their plan was to stay here and add on, and to eventually be able to own their dream home. At first, I had worried about how fast they got together. It was a little hard to get to know Toni, she was very up front with her feelings, which could make her come off as being bitchy. But, I spent a lot of time helping her plan her wedding, and we had grown close. It was nice to add another female to the group, and it was nice to spend more time with Nick.

The house was small, the biggest room was the living room, which was painted in a warm tan color, with a big mirco-suede burnt orange sectional, and of course, Nick’s massive TV. They had stripped the carpet and found beautiful old hardwood floors. They were a few other over sized chairs, as well as large floor pillows in various sunset colors and earth tones thrown around the room. It was by far my favorite room in the house. The kitchen was the worst. It was the first room on the list to be redone. It was tiny, with ugly appliances that had to have been rejects from the eighties. There was a decent sized dining room that led out to a huge backyard, a basement that Nick planned on finishing to turn into a play room for future kids, a half bathroom downstairs, and three bedrooms upstairs, though one bedroom was so small, I’m not sure it could have been considered its own room.

“Hello?” I called. I had seen their cars in the driveway, so I knew they were home.

“Hey!” Nick called, coming out from the kitchen. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I know, I hope you don’t mind, I should have called.”

“No, no. It’s cool, I just thought you’d want to spend time with the new boy toy.”

I smiled. “No, I mean, I did. But, I thought I’d give him some time with his Mom. Where’s Toni?” I asked, looking around him to see if she was squeezed in the kitchen.

“She’s taking a nap.” He smiled that secret smile that he had used during lunch. “She’s been really tired lately.” He went back into the kitchen. “You hungry?”

“No, I just ate some ice cream, but I will take a drink.” I said, sitting down on the couch.

He walked back into the room and handed me a sprite. He sat on the other end of the couch, propping his leg up on the coffee table. I popped the sprite open, took a sip, and then set it down.


“So, how are things with the boy?” Nick asked, reaching for the remote to turn down the TV.

I shot him a big smile. “Good. I think. I mean it’s all happening so fast… I wonder if maybe it’s too fast?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” I paused, looking down at my nails. “We just went from zero to one hundred. I mean we connected when I was visiting Jason in California. But, you know, there was the baby… And then I felt like we connected when we went camping… But then he left. And now… I don’t know. I just feel like we’ve had a lot of stops and starts, and we were talking about taking things slow…”

“And you don’t think he is?” Nick asked. “Is he being inappropriate?”

I laughed. There was the big brother side, coming out.

“No, Nicky. He’s been good. He just said I was his girlfriend today. I like that.” I paused, smiled, thinking about the moment and how shy Jacob looked when he said that.

“Ella, if you’re happy, just let it be. You’ve had so much stress with Jason, just let this one go. He seems like a nice guy. I’m sure it seems like you guys haven’t spent a lot of time together, but you have spent a lot of time talking and stuff.”

“Yeah.” I sipped my sprite. “So, you gonna tell me what your big secret is?”

“What do you mean?” He asked, although his grin totally ruined the whole play-it-dumb act that he was trying to pull.

“I mean both you and Toni have had that cat that ate the canary look on your face all day. I know your happy that Jason’s home, but you’re not that happy. I know you Nick, what are you hiding?”

He glanced upstairs and then scooted over next to me on the couch.

“If I tell you, you can’t tell her I told, she’ll kill me.” He whispered.

“O-K.” I said slowly.

Nick jumped a mile when we heard the stair creak.

“Go ahead Nick, you can tell her.” Toni’s voice came down after the creak. “I shouldn’t have told you. You can’t keep a secret for nothing.” She said, walking into the room.

“She knew already!” He exclaimed defensively.

“She didn’t know. She guessed something was up and you cracked under the tiniest bit of questioning. I don’t know how we’re going to make it two more months without telling anybody.” Toni exclaimed.

“Two more months?” I started. “Oh my God, are you guys pregnant?”

Nick smiled widely, and Toni rolled her eyes, but I saw a small smile playing on her lips.

“How far along are you?” I asked, eyeing Toni’s stomach.

“We just found out, I haven’t made it to the doctor yet, but I had a positive pregnancy test. I would guess only a couple weeks. We’ve been trying.” Toni said.

“We wanted to wait, originally, until the house was done, or at least further along. But, with Toni’s Dad… I don’t know, it just felt like the time was right. We were hoping to be pregnant before he passed, but… It didn’t work out.”

“I think my Dad did it.” Toni said, smiling sadly. “I think it’s his gift to us.”

I couldn’t say anything to that. I know some people might roll their eyes, or think it was just cheesy, but Toni wasn’t sentimental like that. It was a little bit of a shocker to hear her talk like that.

“You can’t tell anyone Ella. I don’t want to jinx it at all. We want to try to make it three months but at least want to make it till I see the doctor and make sure everythings OK.” Toni said, her eyes serious.

“Don’t worry.” I said, “my lips, are sealed.”