I wish my life could be The way it was before I saw your face

“Oh.” I answered, dropping my arms from around him. “What’s up?”

Matt walked up behind us just then, nodding a hello to Drew and walking into the house.

Drew sighed, and turned away from me. “What happened?” He asked, gesturing to my car and the toilet paper that still clung to the tree.

“I’m not sure. We came out this morning and it was like that.”

“Think it could have been one of your kids?” Drew asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Drew liked what I did, but any good boyfriend doesn’t love the fact that their girlfriend works in the ghetto.

“Yeah, right.” I said laughing. “I mean, a few of the kids do know where I live, and have been here before, but I don’t know if they could find it again by themselves. And the fact that it’s so far away? I mean I guess they could have taken the bus, only it wasn’t like this when I came in on Saturday night, so it had to have happened incredibly late or extremely early. I mean, these are some hard ass little kids, I’ll give you that, but I just don’t see them spending the time to buy or steal toilet paper, and also stealing a car to come all the way up here.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” His back was to me.

“How long have you been out here? It’s cold. You could have gone inside.”

“I know, I don’t mind the cold.”

“You want to go inside now?” I asked, shivering a little.

He turned towards me. “Oh, geez Ella, I’m sorry. You’re cold. I don’t want to go inside, but maybe we could sit in your car? I just. Don’t want Matt to hear.”

“Oh-kay.” I said, drawing out my words. I was nervous, I couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in my stomach. I knew something bad would come out of Jason visiting. Does he have some sort of radar that picks up when I’m happy? How does he always seem to know the perfect moment to come crashing down and ruin everything?

We settled in the car, I turned on the heat and blasted it. Drew pulled off his coat and sweatshirt. In doing so, his shirt rode up, exposing a tight stomach. Every time I saw his body, I was shocked, why hadn’t I seen just how gorgeous he was before?
He caught me looking and tugged down his shirt, but not before shooting me a slow smile and a wink. I felt a little better.

“Drew you’re about to give me a heart attack. Why are you here?”

“There’s a couple of things… Amber’s cousin? Nicole?”

“Yeah. Barbie’s little sister, Skipper?” I joked. He smiled.

“She found me on facebook. I don’t know how, really. It’s not like I gave her any other information other than my first name, but she did.”

“And you drove all this way to tell me that some skank friended you on facebook?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No.” He said, laughing. “I told you, there were a couple of things. Just, chill out, OK? You’re making ME even more nervous than I already am.”

“OK.” I said, placing my hands on the wheel. “You know, I could use some hot chocolate, and I think if I’m concentrating on the roads, I won’t be concentrating on interrupting you. Sound good?”

“Yeah.” He answered. “Anyway. She found me on facebook, and friend requested me. I didn’t really know what to do, it seems so stupid to deny someone’s request on facebook, but I know you don’t like her… But, I did accept it.” He shrugged. “I just felt really stupid denying someone on facebook of all places.”

I nodded, turning the corner. I wasn’t mad. Sure, I didn’t love the fact that the skank was moving in on my man, but again, I trusted Drew with everything I had. I knew he wouldn’t do anything.

“She sent me a few messages, dumb stuff, like what I was doing for Christmas, and how serious were you and I exactly. I’d write her back, just the basics. I kept hoping she’d get the hint, I never gave her much to work with, but she’d always respond. Well, before I left to meet up with Jason, she messaged me and asked if it bothered me at all that you and Matt lived together. I said no, I trusted you, and left it at that. Which, I meant, by the way.” He said eyeing me. I nodded again, trying not to interrupt him anymore.

“Well, she sent me another message but since Jas was in town, I didn’t get a chance to read it until late last night. How well do you know Matt?”

“I like to think pretty well. I mean every since you moved up to boyfriend status, he’s kind of taken over the best friend part.” I answered.

“What, I can’t be your boyfriend and your best friend?” Drew asked, looking a little hurt.

“No. I mean, you are, but there’s now stuff I can’t talk to you about. Like when we’re having relationship issues, and I need to vent or something, you know?”

“You’ve already had relationship issues with me?” Drew exclaimed.

“No!” I answered quickly, and then I laughed. “I just mean there’s things I used to discuss with you about other guys. Girls spend a lot of time in their head thinking about relationships, and because of that they tend to over think things and sweat the small stuff. Or, like, I was getting advice on your Christmas present. I can’t ask you that.”

“Oooh, what are you getting me?” He asked, smiling and rubbing his hands together.

“Can you just get back to what the message said?” I answered, laughing and smacking his arm lightly. I was reassured when he took my hand and held it.

“She just… Spewed some awful stuff about Matt… I wasn’t sure if I should take it seriously or not because… I mean a few days ago she was saying how great Matt was and she hoped she could find someone like that for herself, but now she was saying he was a liar and a manipulator… She claimed he told Amber he was really serious about her, that he broke up with Kellie for her, and then just took it all back. I don’t know, she sounded really pissed.”

“And you’re here because…?” I asked, still confused.

“I’m concerned. She said Matt told Amber that the only reason he got with her was to make you jealous. I mean she was spouting off some serious hatred for the guy.”

“Because she’s crazy Drew! She and Amber are seriously nuts. You know, I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that they were the ones that did that shit to my house.”

“I mean how do you know that? Cuz of what Matt said? How do you know Matt’s not the one lying?”

“I guess I don’t. I just believe Matt. I mean, Matt told me weeks ago that Amber was too clingy. She asked him to move in with her! After he told her he still wasn’t over Kellie.”

“He claims he told her that. You don’t know.” Drew pointed out.

While it was cute that Drew was concerned, it was also a tad annoying.

“You don’t know that he didn’t!” I shot back. We were pulled in the parking lot of Starbucks. While I didn’t like their coffee, I loved getting a hot chocolate with two shots of caramel from there. I sighed, looking at Drew.
“I know you’re concerned hon, and I see your point. You could be right, Matt could have lied to me. Or, I could be right, Amber could just be nuts. But, even if you are right, there’s nothing to be worried about. I mean Matt’s never said a bad word about you, and even if he did, I wouldn’t believe him. I know there’s nothing bad about you.”

“Thanks.” He said, squeezing my hand as we exited the car. “I just… Do get worried sometimes. I mean you do live with Matt. You spend a lot more time with him than you do with me. I trust you not to cheat, but I don’t trust Matt.”

I laughed a little. “You drove all the way up here for that?” I asked, standing in line.

“Well. I told you there were a couple of things.” He answered. “Plus, I missed you.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him so my back was against his chest. He rocked me slightly, and kissed the top of my head.

“I missed you too. It was a pretty good end to a really crappy morning.” I said, loving the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms.

We placed our orders. It was pretty dead, so we were able to catch a couch next to a fireplace.

He blew on his coffee, not looking at me. “It’s not over yet…” He trailed off.

The sinking feeling came back. I set down my hot chocolate. “Well, you did say you had a couple of things, so…”

“Yeah. I don’t know which I’m more nervous to talk to you about.”

“So, there’s two more things?”

“Yeah, they kind of go hand in hand… In a weird way.”

“Oh.” I answered, wracking my brain. I knew one just HAD to do with Jason. What was the second one about?

He starred into the fire, again, not saying anything.

“OK, Drewbie. You really need to stop doing all of this. Are you trying to kill me?”

“What?” He asked, looking up at me, clueless.

“Tell me what’s going on!” I said, laughing despite my nervousness, or maybe because of it.

“We need to talk about Jason.”

Boom. Bombs went off. The smile went instantly off my face. I suddenly didn’t know what to do with my hands, so I picked up my hot chocolate, and then feeling awkward, I set it back down again.

“OK. What about him?” I asked, picking back up my hot chocolate. I took a sip and burned my tongue.

“Look. This is really, really awkward. And I don’t want to have this conversation, because I don’t really think I want to know the answer…”

Oh God. Jason told him. Jason told him that we slept together, and now I’m going to have to confirm it. I felt like I was going to vomit.

“But, it goes with the second part of what I came to talk about… Ella, when I’m gone, I miss you. I can't concentrate on anything else, and I hate that I’m so far away. I mean, what if something happens to you? It’ll take me hours to get here. I mean, even if it’s something little, like your car breaking down… I know there’s other people you could call, but… I’d just like it to be me. I have a friend, he wants to sublease my apartment. My Dad’s not happy about me leaving, but there’s not much work going on in the winter anyway, so, he won’t be screwed if I bail out now… What I’m trying to say is… I’d really like to move down here. As in, now. I could stay tonight… Spend a couple days down here looking at apartments, a job, I have vacation time...”
“What does that have to do with Jason?” I asked, surprised, excited, and a little scared.

“I need to know you’re over him Ella. Totally and completely. If you tell me you are, I’ll believe you. I just need to know.” I looked at his eyes, which looked pained, hopeful and scared.

“Oh, Drewbie.” I said, taking his hand. “I’m over Jason. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’m always going to love him,” Drew nodded as I said this, but I did see a wave of hurt flash across his face. “But, it’s just… It’s done.”

He was quiet for a moment, mulling things over. “Would you still say that if I told you he had left Kayla?”